Daughter of Tangled Corpses: Part 3

Banros led the trio south, away from the sea, and civilization. They kept off the roads at first, but after three days there were no more roads to keep off of. Or, if there were, they were ancient things. Too overgrown to make travel any easier. Stretching only a few miles, before disappearing again beneath centuries of shifting dirt.

Jeanette had considered abandoning Banros the moment they were clear of the city. Unfortunately, she’d succeeded in convincing Alger he would die if he broke his word. Much as Jeanette hated the savage soldier, she didn’t want to leave him behind. His brute strength was too useful in traveling the wilds. But neither did she want to put the idea in his head that her spells could be fake. Besides, Banros wasn’t wrong in thinking there might be booty in the ruins.

The wealthy and powerful of Brim had crafted sprawling miniature cities for themselves. They competed with one another to build in the most far-flung, exotic locals. Then, as their empire collapsed, they all fled back to their homeland. Now, without Brimese infrastructure, the wilderness had reclaimed much that had once been civilization. And for anyone skilled enough, and lucky enough, there was treasure for the taking.

If this worked out, Jeanette would have enough money to get herself out of the country. Back to Rotain. Once she was home, she knew how to disappear. With the booty from a city-villa, she could live in luxury as her memory faded from Pestor Ulric’s mind. And even if they found nothing, a few weeks in the wilderness would let her trail grow cold.

The travel was hard going. Banros was a better hunter than either Jeanette or Alger—though not by much. Jeanette envied the other two their sensible clothes. She’d never had a chance to change her gown. It was so tattered and wet with muck that she might as well be naked for all the warmth it provided. All three were in a sorry state by the time Banros called out:

“There she is!”

Weariness forgotten, Jeanette surged up the hill they were climbing, Alger on her heels. At the peak, she studied the valley below. What had once been the grounds was now obstructed by dense growth.  But a handful of red roofs stuck out in the foliage. As they studied at the valley below, details began to take shape. There were dozens of small clearings, and structures with collapsed, or moss-covered roofs. Banros’ map was in his hands, and he flicked his eyes between it, and the scene before them.

“That large empty space is probably the southern courtyard. While that one beyond it should be the reflecting pool, I think. I don’t see the temple dome at all…”

“Prolly fell in.” Alger said. “Domes fall in easy.” Banros was too engrossed in his survey to hear the soldier.

“Those trees over there look different. That probably used to be the orchard…” he continued.

Jeanette’s attention trailed off. She’d known the ruins would be large. Villa-cities needed to be. They housed all the comforts their masters would find in a bustling metropolis. But this was a palace beyond her imagining. Even at a glance, it was clear that the outer edges were miles apart. The sheer presence of it was overwhelming. She felt small.

Once the initial rush of excitement wore off, the three made camp. Jeanette suggested setting up below, in one of the buildings with an intact roof. But the other two overruled her, opting instead for a flat patch of earth back down the hill. Out of sight of the ruins. Banros and Alger were willing to brave the ghosts and hexes in daylight. They didn’t intend to be anywhere near the ruins in the dark. Jeanette wanted to argue the point, but held her tongue. A little discomfort was a worthwhile exchange to maintain the fiction that magic was a fearsome thing.

The next morning they ventured back up the hill, and down into the ruins. Banros cut a long branch from a tree, and shaved it of excess growth. Before entering each building, Jeanette made a show of declaring it free of curses. Then Banros thumped the floors and ceiling with his awkward device. The precaution saved them from two floors that collapsed into the cellars below.

The party first searched through several of the small, outlying buildings. When those proved devoid of valuables, Banros cut across the grounds. They passed a dozen smaller buildings as he led the group to where the temple ought to be. The dome had collapsed, as Alger predicted. But the walls were intact enough to protect the interior form shifting dirt. The trio spent hours excavating fallen stones, uncovering the temple’s altar, and vestibule. Both were intact, but neither contained anything more valuable than painted pottery fragments. The tile mosaic built into the floor could have been worth a fortune. But there was no way to move it without an army of workmen, carts, and horses. The mood was somber as the three marched back to camp.

A few modest discoveries did little to raise their spirits over the next two days. A torn painting, a set of bent silverware, and a gold-hemmed robe weren’t worthless. But after twelve days of grueling travel, several more of searching, and another long journey back ahead of them, these otherwise decent treasures felt like a pittance.

On the fourth day the party ventured into the cellar beneath the kitchens. Each carried a rudimentary torch Banros had taught them to make the night before. As their search dragged on, the men’s fear of ghosts and curses had subsided. They wandered freely within sight of each other, kicking debris and old furniture aside. They scanned for anything that glittered in the torchlight. At this point, Jeanette would have gotten excited over a bit of colorful fabric.

“A floor-door!” Alger called, breaking the morose silence that had settled over the group. It was the only thing any of them had found that day. He clasped trapdoor’s heavy iron ring and heaved. The door creaked, but held shut.

“Locked.” he grunted. Banros came over and crouched to take a closer look, lowering his torch to the floor.

“No keyhole, or any latch on this side. It’s probably barred from below.”

“Foolheaded way to make a door.” Alger said.

“It’s likely an escape route.” Jeanette replied “Below is a tunnel a half mile or so long. It would lead to a cave or a tree hollow that lets out into the woods.” Banros stood, and shook his head.

“If it’s an escape tunnel, they would keep it open until they needed it. And they’d only need it if they were attacked. We haven’t seen any signs of violence here. Not so much as a discarded weapon, or a singed roof.” he said.

“Better to open and see than sit and guess while the torches burn.” Alger said. “We searched a smithy yesterday. It had pry bars and hammers a-plenty. In a quarter hour we can have the floor-door open. Lock or no.”

The three went to the smithy together, and retrieved the tools. It took no time at all to pry and smash apart the old door, revealing a heavy iron bar on the other side. It was simple enough to slide the bar out of place, and it fell to the ground below with a loud clatter.

There were no steps, just a straight passage leading down. Banros dropped his torch. It landed 17 feet below in a narrow, natural cavern, with a sandy floor. Beside it were the fallen door bar, and a wooden ladder that had fallen flat.

“C’mon, witch. We’ll lower you and you can put up the ladder.” Banros said.

“Fuck no you’re not lowering me into that hole.” Jeanette replied, indignant. “You go.”

“You’re the lightest one. It makes sense for you to go first, since we’ll need to lower you by hand.” Banros said.

“That ladder is an ancient wreck! What happens when it collapses before I can come back up?”Jeanette asked.

“You’re pretty light yourself” said Alger, gesturing his head towards Banros.

“I thought you two had to have my back.”

“Doesn’t mean we have to get ourselves killed on your whims!” Jeanette said, with defensive swiftness.

“Fine. Lower me.” said Banros with exaggerated resignation. “At least I know you can’t leave me if the ladder breaks.”

Jeanette and Alger knelt by the pit and each clasped one of Banros’ hands in theirs. They lowered themselves until they were lying on their stomachs. Arms dangling through the doorway. Jeanette tried not to look as though she was struggling to keep her grip. Once they’d lowered Banros as far as they could, he called up.

“Alright…let me go!” They both did. The fall was longer than Jeanette would have guessed. Even in sand, the thump of his body hitting the ground was ugly.

“You are good?” Alger called.

“Fine” came Banros’ testy reply. “My fucking feet and ass hurt, but nothing broke.”

“Raise up the ladder then!” shouted Alger.

It was awkward. The ladder was large and heavy, and the corridor below was narrow. Maneuvering it into position and hefting it up took Banros several minutes. Alger spent that time shouting unhelpful instructions down to his struggling companion. Once it was finally raised, Alger descended cautiously. The last thing they needed was to destroy their only way out of the hole.

When Jeanette reached the bottom, Banros was pacing. He strode around the ladder with his torch, with one hand on the wall.

“There’s only one path forward.” he said once he’d made a full circuit. He handed his torch to Alger. “I’ll stay in front testing the ground and looking for holes. Alger, you keep that light high and make sure I can see where I’m going. And both of you, keep your eyes peeled.”

Jeanette chafed at being given orders, but held her tongue. The plan kept Banros out in front. That was fine with her.

Nooks and crevices filled the passage walls, some large enough to hide a grown man. But the path forward was narrow. Broad shouldered Alger had to twist himself to avoid knocking elbows against the stone. By contrast, the floor was more or less even, excepting a few gentle slopes. The journey was not difficult. But Jeanette felt a growing sense of disquiet as the passage went on.

She could sense the others’ growing tension as well. They’d expected the passage to be less than a mile long, yet it seemed endless. Jeanette wished she’d thought to count her paces. At least then they would know how far they’d traveled already. She was certain it was more than a mile now. Their torchlight illuminated the cramped surroundings well enough. But that only made the darkness, extending before and behind them, feel more dangerous. They moved in silence.

Jeanette’s feet were sore by the time the narrow passage began to widen. The ceiling rose first,  moving beyond torchlight as they proceeded further. Only a few dozen steps after they lost sight of it, the walls opened up into a larger cavern. Blackness surrounded their little circle of light. The walls and ceiling were beyond the reach of their torches. Only the floor, and the wall they’d just emerged from were visible.

Without a word, Barnos turned left and continued forward. He kept one hand on the only wall they could see. Jeanette counted this time, reaching 122 paces before the wall made an abrupt turn. Banros’ turned with it and continued to lead the others forward. Jeanette couldn’t help but glance into the vast expanse of blackness to their right. Only children are afraid of the dark, she reminded herself.

“Gods-!” Banros gasped just as Jeanette counted 169 paces. It was the first any of them had spoken since entering the passage. Alger and Jeanette jumped back with a start. When Banros didn’t explain himself, Jeanette hissed at him.

“’Gods’ yourself, asshole! Spit it out! What’s worth scaring me half to death with your shouting?”

“Give me a torch.” Banros commanded, ignoring the complaint. He held his hand back towards Alger without even looking. His eyes were fixed on something three paces in front of him. Tired of Banros dismissive attitude, Jeanette stepped around Alger and marched forward. She stopped short and scrambled back when she saw the pit Banros was standing at the edge of.

It was 15′ across. On the other side was a sheer wall, rising beyond torchlight. Jeanette lowered herself, and crawled forward. She didn’t trust her own balance near the precipice. Banros tossed his torch into the chasm. It spun, and the light flickered in the rushing black air. It bounced off the far wall, then the near one, before coming to rest as a pinprick of light in the black.

All three spent a quiet moment peering over the chasm at the spec of light. Then, with no other choices to pick from, they turned to walk along the chasm’s edge. Though they kept a good for or five feet of distance from it. Just as Jeanette reached 122 paces for a second time, Banros stopped again. He didn’t make a sound, and Jeanette moved forward to see what had stopped them this time. She stared at the ground for long seconds before realizing Banros was looking out. Across the chasm. She followed his gaze to the sheer wall on the other side. And to the door built into it.

It was a drawbridge. Struts near the top held it aloft with heavy chains. The door blocked their view of whatever passage lay beyond it. But there was a three or four foot gap at the top. Banros was the first to speak.

“Our torches are low and we don’t have the equipment to get across. I’ve got a rope and grapnel in camp. We’ll come back tomorrow.” He grabbed the torch from Alger’s hand, turned away from the drawbridge. He marched straight through the darkness in the center of the cavern. Sure enough, the passage they’d entered from was directly across from the bridge. They set a brisk pace. Jeanette had just counted 231 steps on the way back when they heard a noise. A tinkling of chains, followed by a resounding thud from the room they’d just left.

Jeanette and Alger’s first instinct was to flee. But Banros had been in front, and the passageway was too narrow to get by him. He ushered them back to the cavern. Alger, thinking himself bound to protect the Banros, allowed himself to be moved. Jeanette did the same. But she managed to wriggle herself to the rear before reaching the cavern.

Banros sprinted and the others sprinted after him. They made a terrible racket which echoed as they entered the larger chamber. The group slowed to a stop at the chasm and found…nothing. The drawbridge was up. A brisk walk zig-zagging through the black cavern revealed nothing different.

“The torches are going out.” Jeanette reminded Banros. “We need to go.”

Grudgingly, Banros broke off the search. They made a brisk pace down the corridor. Only a flicker of light from a single torch remained when they reached the ladder. As they clambered out, they discovered it was long past nightfall.

The trio fled back to their camp with all haste.

Daughter of Tangled Corpses: Part 2

Jeanette gnawed at the overcooked rabbit Alger had caught.

“It’s terrible,” she said.

“Whine when you catch food by your lonesome, bitch.” the soldier replied. Jeanette’s alchemical trickery had stopped him from killing her. But it didn’t force him to like her much.

And that’s just fine, Jeanette thought. Aloud she said “I’m paying you, aren’t I?”

“Not yet. And you paid only for a sword-hand. Not for a cook.” Everything Alger said was calm and contemptuous. Jeanette might have liked him more if he sounded half as frustrated as she was. She returned to the task of digesting the gamey supper he’d caught. Bad as it was, it was the first thing they’d managed to eat since midday yesterday. And Jeanette had to admit, she would have been worse off without the nasty brute.

Which didn’t mean she wouldn’t kill him eventually. The Xulcam pollen made him forget the savage beating he’d given her. But she never would. The worst of her injuries were only now fading. But there would be scars to keep her memory fresh.

And he’ll pay for each one, tenfold. Jeanette vowed. She tossed the bone she’d been gnawing on into the fire. It sizzled. She rose to her feet.

“We need to get into town. We need hot food and a soft bed.”

“You want hot food and a soft bed.” the stoic soldier corrected.

“Need it or want it, we’re going go get it” she snapped. He stayed silent, chewing at his meat. He picked a bone clean before offering a reply.

“If the money for those things is in your pocket, why’m I not paid yet?” he asked.

“60 gold crowns is a small fortune. I’m talking about five sheckles of food and cloth.”

“Do you have the sum of that?” he asked, in a patronizing tone. Jeanette rolled her eyes. The dolt’s superior attitude made her want to kill him all the more. She strained to keep her voice even.

“Two days back we passed a road going into Nulara right? One the locals use for trade?”

“Yarb, we did that. ”

“You’re a soldier. Don’t tell me you’ve never turned bandit when your pay was late.” His eyes narrowed as he caught on to her plan. He didn’t seem to like it.

“Yarb, but with ten and more men to my right and left. Not just a sword and a witch.” Jeanette counted the note of testiness rising in his voice as a small victory.

“So we stalk some trader until they make camp, then slit their throats at night. The road is at least a three day journey, they’ll need to make camp.”

“And what of your wantedness? You get nabbed for some coin, and I don’t get paid.”

“Getting ‘nabbed’ would be worse for me than it would be for you. But it won’t happen. Even if Ulric sent word this far, I’m hardly the only Nobeli woman in Lauglen.” Alger stared at her, unconvinced, so she continued.

“We’ll stick to the dregs, and I’ll scrounge cloth for a bonnet to hide my hair. We can get a good rest and be gone before anyone realizes we were ever there. If anything it’s your cloak and armor we ought to worry about. If you’re marked as a deserter by now, it’s a dead giveaway.”

Alger just grunted and reached for the last piece of rabbit. Jeanette could see him mulling over what she’d said as he chewed at the gamey meat. Finally he muttered:

“Awright”

Jeanette opened her eyes. All she saw was black. Her temples throbbed against a rope tied tight around her head. It was hard to breathe. Her mouth was dry–filled with rags. She tried moving, but the the rub of ropes on her arms and legs left no room for it. She could feel her pulse quicken in her temples as the reality of her situation set in. She had apparently been very wrong about how recognizable she was. And about how badly Pestor Ulric wanted her dead.

As her heartbeat throbbed faster, her wiggling became more spastic. Each failed attempt to escape the ropes increased her mounting hopelessness.  She tried to clear her thoughts.  Panicking will only hurt you she told herself. But whomever had done the ropes knew what they were doing. She tried to take deep, calming breaths. But the gag restricting her breathing only fueled her panic. She was on the verge of screaming when she heard a hand on a doorknob. She went completely limp, doing her best imitation of unconsciousness.

“You’re not fooling anyone, witch.” Came a man’s voice a moment later, accompanied by a sharp kick to her thigh. Caught, Jeanette tried to rise to a sitting position. She forced herself to be calm. The man had a Lauglen accent. Whatever trouble she was in, she wasn’t back with the army. Yet.

“Hrmmn nm muuuh!” Jeanette knew he wouldn’t understand her. She didn’t even actually say anything—but how else to get his attention? There was a pause before he responded.

“Rewards almost the same if you’re dead, which you will be if you scream.” She felt hands at the back of her neck fiddling with a knot. The rope slackened, and she spat it out, along with a soiled rag. She enjoyed several deep breaths.

“I can pay you.” she croaked through dry lips. The offer sounded weak even to her. She wasn’t surprised to hear her captor chortling.

“First, no you can’t. You barely had any coin on you. And if you were rich or powerful back in Rotain, then the army wouldn’t have a 300 crown bounty on your ass.” Jeanette winced, hoping Alger wasn’t in the same room. The promise of 300 crowns would overwhelm the paltry charms of the Xulcam pollen.

“Second, even if you could pay more, I’ve already sent a runner to your Governor. Ten thousand crowns wouldn’t be enough to save me if I let you go. I’d be dead just as surely as you’re gonna to be. No dice.”

Jeanette searched for anything she might offer in exchange for freedom. There was nothing. No bargain would get her out of this. She would have to escape. She needed to be easy, calm, and friendly. She needed to create opportunities, which might become cracks she could wriggle out of.

“Can…can you at least bring me—us, my friend and I—some food? The army’s at least a few days out. We’ll need to eat if you don’t want to hand over a pair of corpses.” Again, the man paused before responding. Either he was slow in the head, or he was being much too cautious.

“Yeah, alright. I think there’s some old mash out in the other room.”

Jeanette heard him moving, the opening and closing of a door, and the turning of a lock. A few seconds later the sounds repeated in reverse.  If he locked the door just to walk across a room, when she was already bound, then he wasn’t slow.  He was cautious.

Hands freed her arms from their binding, and removed her blindfold. He could have made her eat blind. That small mercy would at least give Jeanette a chance to examine her surroundings. She saw a cold bowl of beige gruel on the floor near her, Alger was a few feet away, still unconscious. There was blood on his temples. She guessed he’d put up more of a fight than she had.

She reached out for the bowl, knowing better than to push her luck asking for a spoon. She dug into the mash with her fingers. A few mouthfuls in, she looked up at her captor.

“Thank you…um”

“Banros” he replied, after another pause.

“Thank you, Banros.” She returned to her food, glancing around the room between scoops. She tried to look curious, rather than calculating. He was watching her. They weren’t in a proper cell for prisoners. It was clear the room had another purpose most of the time. A rudimentary office, free of adornment save for a large map hanging on the wall. It was printed on a yellowing vellum. She could tell at a glance that it was an older artifact than she’d expect to find in a place like this.

looks like a Brimese map. A Nobeli villa-city, right?” She kept her eyes on the map, avoiding the temptation to look at his reaction. He waited so long to reply that she began to wonder if he’d actually heard her at all.

“Finish eating.” He said. He was trying to sound stern, but Jeanette caught the shift in his tone. His curiosity was at odds with his better judgement.

“I’m Nobeli, you know. My mother’s line traces back to the heyday of the Brimese Empire. It’s where my magic comes from.” This was true, as far as she knew. At the least, it had always helped to enhance her mysterious image.

“Last chance to be eat.” Banros said. He was definitely interested. Jeanette didn’t know why, but it was a crack in her cage. She returned to her food. She needed to pique his curiosity further, without pushing him too far. As she tried to suss out her next move, he saved her the trouble.

“They said you were a witch, but if you’re so damn magical why are you tied up on my floor?”

“It’s a subtle thing.” Jeanette said. “You’re smart enough to know old stories exaggerate.” His eyes flared, and Jeanette knew she’d misstepped before he spoke.

“Don’t patronize me.” he said, his voice steely. “You’re done eating, and when my runner gets back in a few days, I’m turning you over to the army. That’s it.”

Jeanette opened her mouth to smooth things over, but he was already shoving rags into it. The knots he tied on her arms felt even tighter than before. He left in a hurry, and the door lock sounded behind him. Whether through kindness or carelessness, he’d left her eyes uncovered. That was something.

Jeanette weighed her options. It was clear that the map was important to Banros. It was also clear  that he thought she might have some value with regard to it. It wasn’t clear what that value might be. But, given another opportunity, she might work his interest into an advantage. If she made her captivity too difficult, then preventing her escape would distract him. That would limit her opportunities to talk to him.

She had a few days at least. Long enough to try talking a few more times. If that didn’t work, she could always try to escape later.

She spied a mouldering pile of hay in the corner. With the little mobility she had, she scooted closer until she could roll onto it. Once she got used to the smell, she drifted to sleep.

“Wake up!” The harsh whisper cut through Jeanette’s light doze. It felt like she’d been asleep for hours, but she didn’t feel any better for the rest. The room was dark, but enough light was visible under the doorway that the sun must be up.

“You living?” the voice came again. Alger had managed to work the gag out of his mouth. She tried to shush him, but all she could produce was a vague “Phuuuph!” which didn’t seem to have any impact on the soldier.

“Work it off, it’s not hard!” he hissed across the black room. Jeanette began to work against the gag with her lips and tongue. She slid the ropes over her lower lip inch-by-inch. After long minutes, the ropes fell to hang loose around her neck. She coughed the rags out of her mouth. Her throat was painfully dry.

“Be quiet!” she spat at Alger. He ignored her.

“Listen, we’re not in army hands yet. But soon enough we will. We gotta get to running.”

“How do you know that?” she asked.

“You’re in ropes, I’m in rusty irons. Army has better gear. Now you wiggle free, can you magic my locks?”

“No.”

“Then find the damned key! Ropes is easy. Then I’ll–” the pair’s whispered argument fell silent as footsteps sounded outside. A moment later the lock turned, and Banros entered again, holding a steaming bowl.

“Got your gags free, huh?” he said with unsettling cheerfulness. “That’s always a hard hole to keep plugged.” He set the bowl down in front of Jeanette, and fished a spoon out of his pocket. Hot mash, with an egg. Jeanette forced her face to remain neutral. Her captor’s sudden kindness meant he’d decided Jeanette had some power. She needed to figure out just how much power she had.

Jeanette stared Banros in the eye. Alger looked between them, confused about what he’d missed. The room was quiet.

“So,” Banros spoke first “you know something about my map. I can make sure you have a bed and some hot food for the next few days. Much better than sleeping on the floor and eating the scraps we remember to toss you.” Jeanette let her captor’s offer hang in the air while she mulled over how to proceed.

“Could you give this food to my companion?” Jeanette nodded towards Alger. “I’m still full from last night.” Banros looked confused, but picked up the bowl and set it before the soldier. Hands still bound, Alger burried his face into the bowl without shame.

“Thanks.” Jeanette said, careful not to sound grateful. He needed to know that she wouldn’t be persuaded with creature comforts. And it didn’t hurt to show Alger a little loyalty. He might come in handy during an escape.

“What do you know about your map?” Jeanette asked.

“I know it’s a Brimese ruin. I know around about where to find it. And I suspect there’s a fair amount of booty to plunder from it.” Banros replied.

“Then what do you need from me? Loot it.”

“I need to know what hexes might be on a place like that, and how to ward them away.”

Jeanette had no idea, but answered anyway.

“There’s no such thing as a standard set of protective hexes. I’d have to be there, sense them for myself.”

“I can’t do that.” Banros replied, frustration evident in his voice. “You can help me and these last few days will be comfortable, or you can be coy and miserable.”

“I don’t know why you think I can tell you so much just from looking at a map. There’s nothing I can tell you without being there.”

Before the last words had left her mouth, Banros leaped to his feet and threw his stool at the wall. It struck a few feet from her head, and bounced onto the floor with a clatter. His face was flush with rage, and Jeanette saw a knife in his hand that hadn’t been there before.

“Don’t fuck with me, witch! You know you aren’t worth much more alive than dead. So here’s the deal: you tell me how to avoid the ghosts in that place or I gut you here and now and save the army the trouble!”

Jeanette couldn’t help squirming away in fear. She was helpless. If he was going to kill her, she was already dead. She was already spinning together some hokey bullshit in her head. Something to satisfy his curiosity and get him away from her. She stopped herself. Satisfying him would get her nothing. The worst he could do now would be to kill her a few days earlier than she was scheduled to die anyway. And if Banros killed her, at least her death would include a lot less torture. She had nothing to lose.

“Why are you so scared of thousand year old wizard tricks?” Jeanette asked, refusing to brace herself against the blow that was sure to follow. It surprised her when, instead, the anger drained from Banros’ face. He slumped into a nearby chair, and rubbed his forehead with his free hand.

“It’s not me. I’ve been to the place before, years ago. Way out in the lowland woods, where nobodys been since the Brim left. Untouched. Probably filled with the kind of loot you could live on the rest of your life. I’d risk ghosts and curses for that. But my boys won’t, and I won’t risk it alone. I thought if I could get some specifics from you then maybe…to hell with it.” He stood and made for the exit.

“Wait!” Alger burst out, speaking for the first time since Banros entered. “We’ll go with you. Watch your back.” he looked to Jeanette for support.

“Absolutely.” she said. Banros paused halfway through the door, but didn’t look back.

“You’d stab me in the back the minute we were out of the city.” he said. Alger winced, and Jeanette thought that had likely been exactly what he was planning. She hurried to pick up the slack.

“I can cast the unbreakable promise spell! We’ll bind ourselves to you.” Now Banros did turn around. He stepped back into the room and closed the door halfway behind him.

“Once cast, we would die if we betrayed you.” Jeanette continued.

“You can’t escape a few ropes and a locked door, but I should trust my life to your witchery?” Banros asked.

“I told you. It’s a subtle thing.” Jeanette replied. “But promises are sacred, they already have a bit of magic about them. There’s an ancient ritual which strengthens that magic. Makes it deadly to the oath breaker. We’d waste away in a few days if we betrayed the conditions of the promise.” Banros’ silence was encouraging.

“There’s still the Governor and his army.” Banros rejoined after a moment “Somebody will get the blame for your escape. I’ve got no intention of being too busy running for my life to spend my money in comfort.”

“Who’s the easy ones for the Gov’ to blame?” Alger asked, “A man already far away? A man for whom a new hunt must begin? OR, your cowardly fellows who will be right here for the hanging?”

Banros gave Alger a serious look, then peeked back into the room beyond the door. He closed it.

“How do we cast the spell?” Banros asked.

“A candle and a copper coin.” Jeanette said. “And we’ll both need our hands and legs free.” Banros quickly found both nearby, and freed his new allies. Jeanette fussed over the precise way the other two should stand, and how they should hold their hands. While, in her head, she worked out the performance of this “Spell.”

She put the coin on the back of the Banros’ left hand, and stacked her’s and Alger’s hands atop that. With her right, she held the candle a foot beneath their stacked limbs. Banros winced as the heat from the tiny flame burned him.

“The magic must burn through us, do not pull away!” she insisted. Distracting pain always made spells feel more solemn.

Jeanette muttered a poem in Brimese that she’d learned as a child. It was  about a little girl who danced too wildly, broke a sacred vessel, and became cursed with two left feet. But to people who’d never learned the ancient tongue, it sounded portentous. After two lines of the poem she said in the common tongue:

“Alger and Jeanette do solemnly swear to assist and protect the coinbearer, Banros, on his journey to seek wealth in the homes of the long dead!” She then pressed all three hands down hard, extinguishing the candle’s flame. Banros, burned by the wax, gritted profanities through his teeth and dropped the coin. Jeanette retrieved it, and held it out to him.

“So long as you hold this coin, we must abide by our promise, or we will die.”

Banros, shaking his hand to soothe the burn, stared at the coin. There was fear in his eyes. With a trembling hand, he reached for the coin as though it might shatter like glass. He hefted it in his burned palm.

“It’s cool.” he murmured. “It feels heavier.” Jeanette resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the awe in his voice.

“Wait for me here.” Banros said, sliding the coin into a pocket inside his vest. “I’ll get your things and make sure the coast is clear, then we’ll be on our way.”

Daughter of Tangled Corpses: Part 1

art by Moreven Brushwood

In late 2014 I wrote a short fiction series for a website that no longer exists. At present, the story hasn’t been available anywhere for several years, and since the rights have long since reverted back to me, I thought I’d take the opportunity to commission some new art for each of the 5 chapters, and republish them here on Papers & Pencils.

The site will be updating daily until the story is complete, so be sure to check back! I hope you enjoy The Daughter of Tangled Corpses.


At best, Jeanette had maybe ten minutes before the messenger’s body was discovered. She tumbled through the hole she’d slashed in the back of her tent, and into the mud. She forced herself to her feet and pulled her skirts up for a sprint to the edge of camp. The scene she’d left behind wasn’t hard to interpret. When Governor Ulric was told, he’d order her immediate execution. Of course, he’d been planning to do that anyway. He just hadn’t expected her to figure it out in advance.

Her tent was near the war camp’s edge. A fortuitous effect of being the Governor’s secret shame. Unfortunately that edge was also the furthest from the camp’s single gate. Without fleeing through an entire camp of soldiers–who may already be in a mood to burn her alive — escape would mean climbing the wall.

She clung to her skirts, struggling not to drop her book or her knife as she fled through the ankle-deep mud and driving rain. Ahead she saw a guard patrolling the inside of the palisade. He looked at her with curiosity. Good, she thought. He didn’t know Jeanette was the scapegoat yet. His confusion made it easy for her to throw herself against his chest—knife first. As he fell she managed to plunge the knife into him four more times, and he had the courtesy to die quietly.

Rising, she dropped her skirts and sheathed her still bloody knife. She checked her book’s clasp, took it in both hands, and heaved it over the palisade. As she watched it tumble over the wall’s spires, she was already bunching up her gown to loop between her legs, and tie together in the front. The wall was more than twice her own height. She didn’t have time to waste.

She tried, first, to find hand and foot holds in the wall to climb with, but she couldn’t even get both feet off the ground. Fuck I am going to die, she thought as she spun around, looking for anything that could help her get over. There was a trio of barrels nearby, but stacking them would be a feat of strength beyond her ability. Her eyes fell on the dead guard’s spear. She grabbed it, and hurled it into the wood of the palisade, where it stuck. With great effort she rolled one of the barrels through the mud, and turned it upright. If she could get a leg-up from the spear, she should be able to reach the top. She climbed onto the barrel, but the moment her weight touched the spear it dislodged, and she careened down to land on the dead man below.

Growling, she hefted the spear and climbed back atop barrel. The angle was awkward, but she thrust the spear in, careful to keep the tip horizontal and angled downwards between two of the palisade’s trunks. Hopping down, she rolled another barrel over near the end of the spear, aware of every lengthy second the process took. She used the dead man’s helmet to hammer the butt of the spear in as hard as she could. After a few good blows, she heard cries of alarm in the tent she’d fled from. No more time. No more chances.

She sprinted for the wall, leaping up to the barrel and clambering to her feet. She raised a leg to rest gently on the spear. She paused for a deep breath, then hurled herself forwards and upwards against the unstable foothold. The spear drooped, but she kept her momentum. In the space of a heartbeat her hands were clasping at the pointed tops of the palisade trunks as the spear fell away beneath her.

The muddy schlupping of running feet drew closer. Fear pumped through her, fueling her straining arms which otherwise would have given out already. She swung a leg over the wall, and heaved her body up to straddle it with a defiant howl. Just as she balanced herself, an arrow flew from below and struck her just above the left elbow. It pierced through the meat and stuck into a bit of stomach flab.

She allowed herself to fall, limp, off the outside of the wall. The wet thunk of her body crashing into the mud didn’t sound half as bad as it felt. For a moment she lay still, blinking away the rain that pelted her face. She knew she wasn’t free, but it was hard to justify anything other then lying still. She could hear Urlic’s voice now, shouting for his men to get a ladder, and sending word for soldiers to move around outside the wall.

His voice was angry. He said something about ‘avenging fallen comrades.’ Jeanette felt some satisfaction knowing she’d judged him correctly. He did intend to scapegoat her as a witch for his disastrous defeat on the field today. As though it were her fault her palm reading had been accurate enough one time to convince him to plan wars around her vague chicanery.

She was still lying in the mud. You’re going to die, she chided. She forced her body to roll, to get her hands under herself. She heaved against the ground, pulling her feet under her and stumbling away from the wall. Ignoring the pain, she willed herself to run for the distant tree line. Scapegoat or not, she’d be the one that was set on fire. She would not be set on fire.

Her vision of the trees wavered and she stumbled. Her head was pounding and bile was rising in her throat, but she forced it down. She kept running, focusing on the trees, and doing her best not to trip over her own feet. Blood from her side ran down to her hip, its warmth contrasting with the chill of the hard-falling rain. But still she pumped her legs, each step taking her closer to the tree line. An arrow struck the ground a few feet from her, and she realized she’d heard at least a half dozen others falling around her already.

She tried zig-zagging to make the archer’s task harder, but she already felt as though she was moving slower than normal. Like running in a dream. She settled on a beeline for the trees. The trees would save her. They were thick. Arrows couldn’t get her there.

Soldiers could, though.

The falling arrows were close around now. Even with the dark and rain, the growing number of archers climbing the walls made it ever more likely one would hit. Only a few yards more. One struck the shaft of the arrow still embedded in her arm, causing it to twinge. She lurched, and opened her mouth to scream, but had no breath to do it with.

And then she was among the trees. Jeanette felt as though she was suddenly moving faster as their trunks whipped past her on either side. She couldn’t see more than a few steps ahead. She stopped running for a moment to break the shaft of the arrow in her arm. The last thing she needed was to impale herself by slamming it into a tree.

She needed to rest. She had no time. She starting running again.

She had no idea where she was, but angled her flight away from where she’d entered the woods. They’d search for her everywhere, but there was no point making it easy for them by continuing to run in a straight line.

There were shouting voices behind her, but they sounded distant. Relief began to creep into her mind. No! she thought, clamping down on that relief. You are almost certainly going to die tonight. Whatever slim chance of survival you’ve got relies on NOT GETTING SLOPPY.

She forced her legs to keep pumping up and down for what felt like hours, hoping all the while that she wasn’t running back towards camp. The black sky denied her any lights to guide herself by. Occasionally she heard men or horses. She knew she was never more than a throw of the dice away from being caught and dragged to her death.

Her legs finally gave out beneath her, and she tumbled onto her face. She scrambled back up with her hands and legs, but the world swam around her and she collapsed again. Her body could not flee any longer. It took every ounce of willpower she had not to lose consciousness. She looked around for some place to hide, and saw an upturned tree with a hollow of dirt beneath it. She dragged her body towards it, unable even to crawl now without stumbling. She wriggled into it, curling herself into a ball for warmth. There was a sharp pain on her thigh. She craned her head to find a rabbit biting at her in defense of its hovel.

With her last ounce of strength she took hold of the animal and broke its neck before falling into deep unconsciousness.

I didn’t bleed to death, Jeanette thought, as a fuzzy semblance of wakefulness returned to her. She squinted against the intrusion of the bright midday light. Apparently they didn’t find me, either. That’s two strokes of luck I’ll have to pay for eventually. Though, the clear and sunny day and her long sleep went some way towards paying that debt. They’d have resumed the search hours ago, and if they got close she’d be easy to spot.

She struggled to pull herself out of the cramped hovel, beset by every ache she’d earned the night before. The most pressing among them was the cavernous ache in her stomach which demanded she find food. She tried to push it down, focusing instead on her arrow wound.

The gouge in her torso where the arrow had gone through wasn’t all that bad. It hurt when she poked it, but she had bruises that hurt more. Which, she hoped, meant the wound was shallow enough to ignore. Her arm was in much worse shape. It was pale, and felt like pins and needles when she tried to move it. The blood around the holes was crusty and dark.

She untied her gown from around her waist, and fumbled to get her knife into her off-hand. She had to cut her dress up to the knees before getting a strip of cloth that wasn’t caked with mud. Makeshift bandage at the ready, she gave the arrowhead a gentle test tug, and felt the meat of her arm painfully tugged with it. This was going to hurt a lot.

She yanked hard, and the arrow shaft tore its way out of her arm, releasing a fresh gout of blood. She wrapped the bandage, careful to place the cleanest spots she could over the wound’s two openings. The pins and needles in her arm got worse as blood dribbled down to her elbow. She was relieved as it slowed, then finally stopped. She tied off the bandage to keep pressure on.

Climbing to her feet, Jeanette assessed her surroundings. The trees were close about her, which was good. So long as she didn’t make any noise, search parties would need to get close before they could spot her. Doesn’t mean I can sit still, though, she thought. Without landmarks, she couldn’t be sure just what direction the camp was in. She did remember the tree she’d hidden under had been on her right last night. So, if she stood with the hollow to her right and walked in that direction, it ought to be away from camp. She checked to make sure she had her knife and her book with her, and–

Fuck.

Jeanette dug her fingers into her brow, and groaned, despite the need for quiet. She didn’t have her book. She’d had it when she left the tent, but didn’t remember picking it up after falling over the wall. She knew she hadn’t been holding it during her mad dash across the field. She pounded her fists into her forehead. That had been it. The book was her one real source of magic. The one thing she could turn to when her parlor tricks didn’t cut it.

A metallic thunk and a blow that sent her sprawling flat on her face cut Jeanette’s recrimination short. She spun onto her back to see a soldier rearing his leg back to deliver a savage kick to her bruised right thigh. She yelped in pain and tried to roll away, to get to her feet, to run again. Before she even got her knee under herself he’d stepped forward and kicked again. She collapsed into a fetal ball.

“That’s sixty gold crowns for me, witch!” the man cheered, slurring his words over an ugly accent. He bent to roll her over, but Jeanette lashed out with her arms and legs like a cornered animal, catching him above the eye with her foot. He stumbled back, but didn’t fall. She scrambled to her feet and ran. He heavy footsteps were at her back in an instant. Before she’d covered five yards he slammed his body into hers, crushing her against a nearby tree. She fell again, feeling as though every bone she had was broken.

“I’d dash your brains here if it’s my choosing,” he snarled, kneeling on her back as he secured her arms. “But Governer Ulric wants you burned crisp for all to see, so you’ll live ’til I’ve been paid!” Wriggling in panic, Jeanette managed to free her good hand. She dove for one of the pouches on her belt, praying its contents hadn’t been ruined by the rain. The Soldier clasped her shoulder and flipped her over. His fist rose to deliver a punch, but went limp as the yellow powder she threw struck his face. His eyes became glassy and unfocused. She tried to speak, but could only gurgle for long terrifying seconds before finally croaking out

“You helped me escape because you don’t want any harm to come to me!”

She lay still, staring up at him in silence. The pollen of the Xulcam flower was a hit-and-miss. But he didn’t look too smart. If it was working, his mind and memories would be folding over on themselves. Trying to accommodate the new information. If it wasn’t working, he’d probably go crazy and beat her to death. As the silence stretched on, she was very aware of the buzzing in her ears, and the narrowing field of vision from her swelling eye. She tasted blood.

Then the soldier was rising to his feet, and helping her onto her’s.

“You’ve been beat harsh! Did you catch the way he went running?” he asked. Jeanette shook her head, too taken aback to trust herself speaking.

“We’d better get out of here before he gets back, though.” she said. “He’s likely to bring a dozen horsemen with him.”

“Yarb, true. Nothing can harm you if I want the 60 gold crowns you owe me!” he answered. She nodded, and the pair began to move off.

As she limped along beside him, Jeanette allowed herself a small, painful, grin.

 

Fuck the King of Space: Players Guide v0.2

After the first couple months of play, I’ve updated and revised the player’s guide for FKOS. I’m actually kinda surprised by just how top-to-bottom the revision is. Pretty much every page has had some kind of significant tweak to the rules. Fundamentally it’s mostly the same stuff, but I’ve added a lot of little refinements that I think will improve play quite a bit.

Fuck the King of Space: Player’s Guide v0.2

The Infallible Garrr

In the dorsal half of the Kingdom Galactic’s fourth spiral, there is a planetary system officially designated “Sugarplum 6”. Modern records of the system begin about 500 years ago, when it was surveyed by one Grig Sullat; a somewhat notorious figure in the history of galactic cartography. The dozens of celestial objects he named after his granddaughter (both literally and euphemistically) led directly to major revisions in the Naming Rights code. Colloquially, the planet has come to be known as Sugar6.

Few will have heard of this remote system, but it is well known to butchers and eccentric gourmands across the galaxy as the only source of Green Steaks. It is a delicacy even the poorest will have heard of, though in their entire lives most people will never handle enough money to afford even a single bite.

The meat is harvested from Nogrols, a kind of bird native to the Sugar6 system. They’re massive things. An adult can grow to be as large as a starship, with a wingspan to match. They spend most of their lives sunbathing in the space between Sugar6, and its moon, though they migrate down to the planet to mate, and to die; and they migrate to the moon to lay their eggs. How the creatures create thrust in a vacuum is something of a mystery, which sciences seems unlikely to solve anytime soon. No lab in the galaxy has budget enough to purchase even a single Nogrol for dissection.

Norgol beaks are purely defensive adaptations. Any digestive tract the creatures may have had, has long since been discarded by evolution. Norgols subsist entirely on nutrients gathered from the sunlight. Even with the massive surface area of their wings to aid in the process, it is a relatively small amount of energy for such a large creature. This makes Norgols singularly indolent, which in turn leads to meat so tender it practically falls apart in the mouth. Their chlorophyll-infused blood gives the meat the green color and grassy flavor that has made it so renowned.

Hunting Norgols is strictly regulated. Their population is so low, and demand for their meat so high, that they could be made extinct within a month if conservation efforts are not carefully maintained. Hunting licenses are given out one kill at a time by a bureaucratic office stationed  in geosyncronous orbit between the planet and its moon. Poaching is exceedingly rare. Anyone discovered to have purchased Green Steak from an unlicensed vendor is sentenced to be cooked alive, and their meat served to discerning cannibals while they still live. Green Steak is said to be among The King’s favorite dishes, and her government takes the crime of endangering the King’s pleasure very seriously.

If anyone were able to figure out how to breed the Norgols in captivity, they’d have fortune enough to join the 36,000 families.

Regarding the pre-industrial cultures developing on the surface of Sugar6, the most substantive record comes from Grig Sullat’s survey.

Human-like, of apparently recent vintage. Sugarplum 6 may have been seeded as part of a forgotten scientific endeavor.

Briefly, the Norgol Office of Preservation and Hunting Association (NOPHA) entertained a proposal to relocate or eradicate the human populace of Sugar6, to prevent any potential threat they may pose to the Norgol population. But, given that the two species utilized completely separate continents, it was deemed an inefficient use of funds at that time, and the project was shelved.

On the 24th of Fructidor, 31,612 YK, a post-coital herd of Norgol was coming up from the planet. One of these was lagging behind, and appeared to be injured. A bidding war began for the hunting license, which was won by an independent butcher named Andru. As she maneuvered her ship into a position where her bolt lancer could spike the animal’s brain, the Norgol unexpectedly lurched forward. It struck Andru’s ship with its beak, and sent the little ship careening off course.

By the time Andru had righted her vessel, the Norgol’s belly had opened up, and human figures were leaping out. Each was wrapped in furs, and encased in a translucent bit of Norgol intestine. Andru and her crew were so baffled by what they were seeing, it never occurred to them that they were in danger until the figures had latched themselves to the canopy of the butcher’s vessel, and started pounding their primitive picks into the hull.

A few minutes of video record exist of this attack. Once she realized the danger, Captain Andru opened a vidcomm channel to NOPHA station to request help. In this video, it is apparent that the men from the planet below are frighteningly strong. Despite the primitive nature of their weapons, they were able to breach the cockpit, and eventually, make a large enough hole to climb their way inside. They lashed their prize to the corpse of the Norgol they had somehow flown up on, and towed it back down to the planet below.

NOPHA station put out an emergency call to the nearest garrison of the King’s Loyal Soldiers. They did their best to emphasize the urgency of the situation, but the KLS are busy, and how much of a threat could some pre-industrial locals with a rancher’s vessel really pose? It was a few days before a pair of ships were dispatched; one enforcer, and one light troop transport.

They arrived on the 4th of Vendemiaire, and hailed the NOPHA station to receive an update on the situation. When the station didn’t respond, the KLS ships performed a thorough scan of the area, and realized that it was swarming with two dozen Norgol corpse-ships, each one of which had a bolt lancer mounted to it. Presumably salvaged from some of the destroyed butcher vessels that littered the area.

The transport held back and comm’d for help, while the enforcer moved in show the primitives what an armed and armored vessel could do. It blasted through the corpse ships with ruthless efficiency, but the primitive pilots were fearless. They swarmed both of the KLS vessels, piercing their hulls with the bolt lancers. More than half the primitive force was destroyed, but in the end they were victorious. The intruders were slain, ever more corpse ships were being prepared on the surface, and now they could salvage some real weapons. Moreover, they could salvage a pair of hyperlight star drives.

And so, the Kingdom Galactic came to know the scourge of the Garrr.

Men say they climb mountains ‘because they are there,’ but it’s not true. Men climb mountains for profit or glory, not simply because the existence of an obstacle is intolerable to them.

The Garrr do abhor obstacles to that inhuman degree. They do not experience fear or avarice in the same way we do, but there is something about impossibility which motivates them like a mix of the two. If it seems as though something is beyond the grasp of a Garrr, they are compelled to prove that it is not.

Because of this biological quirk, the Garr do not understand failure. They will almost never make statements of intent, because they do not believe they can truly know their intent until they witness the results of their actions. If they strike their thumb with a hammer, or break a vase, or die in battle, then those must have been the actions they were pursuing.

To humans, it may seem like a childish attempt to protect one’s pride. “I meant to do that.” But this is narrow thinking. The Garrr are hardwired with a consequentialist epistemology. They have no concept of “bad deed,” or “incorrect choice.” Whatever happens is the right thing to happen.

Six years ago, the Garrr defeated the sky, and conquered the weaklings who lived beyond the sky. They have since spread to several nearby planets. All who have faced them have fallen, save for those lucky enough to face Garrr who had decided it was time to die. The KLS has proven powerless to stop them so far, but the King’s supply of Green Steak is running low.

20 Architectural Features for Memorable Dungeons

There’s more to crafting a memorable dungeon than the room descriptions. To be really great, it should be an interesting space to move through on its own merits. The way the rooms connect to one another, and to the outside world, is a fundamental part of any dungeon’s character, which I have too often ignored in the past.

I’m no Dyson Logos or Stonewerks. My maps are best described as “serviceable.” And while I doubt I’ll ever share their artistic acumen, I’m trying to do better for the sake of of giving my (amazing) room keys nicer homes to live in.  To that end, I’ve set myself the goal of having 3 architecturally interesting elements in every dungeon I put together. Things that give the dungeon space an inherent complexity for the players to struggle with, or manipulate.

It is essential to note, that complex room shapes are not interesting dungeon design. They are a lazy way to make a map look interesting, without actually being interesting. Unless the shape of the room has some particular impact on play, more-or-less squarish spaces are all you need.

1. The entrance to the dungeon is in the center, with rooms radiating out around it. Rooms might interconnect freely, or form distinct “wings,” with only occasional connections between them. The player’s options are maximized from the start, and if they are stymied in one direction, they can easily try another.

2. The entrance is perilous, preventing quick egress. Perhaps getting in and out requires climbing 100′ of rope, or slowly wiggling your way through a narrow crevice in the wall. The players are thus limited in what they can bring in or out, and will not be able to flee to the safety of the outside world if they are being pursued.

3. The main flow of the rooms form a ‘figure 8’ pattern; meeting in the center, and forming two distinct loops. This is a nice simple way of making the player’s path through the dungeon nonlinear, without making the rooms overly interconnected. Each loop, of course, could and should have little offshoots.

4. A river of water, lava, or just about anything else flows through the dungeon, intersecting with multiple rooms. Not only does it serve as a point of reference, and as a way to make the individual rooms it passes through more interesting; it could also be an alternate way of moving through the dungeon.

5. A space from which another space is visible, but not obviously accessible. When keying, this latter space would have some interesting feature the players would want to interact with, but be barred from doing so until later. This could be accomplished with bars, with a sharp change in elevation, through unbreakable windows, walls of force, large uncrossable lava pits, etc.

6. Connections which are spatially impossible. Doors that lead to the other side of the map, or hallways that loop back on themselves without ever turning. This need not be presented as a “gotcha,” where the players explore for a long time before realizing what is happening. Reference points set early in the dungeon could clue them in very quickly, and give them an opportunity to use the dungeon’s geometry to their own advantage.

7. A room which vertically intersects multiple dungeon levels. Perhaps with bridges spanning back and forth across it, allowing players to reach other parts of the dungeon by finding some way to get up to a higher bridge, or down to a lower one. Or perhaps the room is filled with water, and players have to swim through it. Or any number of other possibilities.

8. Areas on one level, which only connect to one another through a different level. So, for example, the first floor might have 10 rooms, but only 5 are immediately accessible. To reach the other 5, you’ve got to go up to the 2nd floor, adventure through those rooms, and discover stairs back down to the other half of the first floor. Vertical movement is often unexplored in dungeons. Usually, there’s only a single stairway between one floor and the next. Rather than the players making interesting decisions about their movement in vertical space, this method basically creates multiple dungeons strung together end-to-end.

9. Combining natural and crafted spaces. This is already done with a lot of maps, where the dungeon is built on top of caverns. This particular arrangement, though, has become a little cliche. It’s more interesting to have a walled garden, open to the sky; or have a crafted corridor that opens out into a natural cave, where the players can choose between a few natural and crafted exits.

10. Secret doors which do not lead to secret areas, but rather, lead to other areas of the dungeon that could be easily accessed conventionally. This was actually much more common with dungeon cartography in the ’70s and ’80s, but is not as common anymore. Which is a shame! Yes, rewarding players with secret treasure is good, but it’s also good to reward them with secret connections they can use to move about the dungeon more sneakily.

11. The dungeon lacks any foundation. Perhaps it is flying, or suspended over a chasm by chains, or floating on a fantastically buoyant sea. The floor of the various dungeon spaces have frequent openings, which serve as hazards for navigation, a means to dispose of any foes the party encounters, and perhaps even as a secondary form of navigation if the party is bold enough to try and cling to the underside of the dungeon.

12. The dungeon is moving. Getting in is a challenge, as you either need to find some way to catch up to it, or you need to predict its route and jump on with perfect timing. And, once it’s time to leave, you have no idea where you’ll be. Such a dungeon could take the form of a castle-on-wheels, a giant walking robot, a structure carried on the back of a titanic beast, or carried in the talons of a massive ancient bird.

13. That a dungeon should have multiple and varied entrances is advice I remember hearing years ago. But it’s still good advice, and I so rarely see it followed. Multiple ways in and out of a dungeon offers a lot of interesting gameplay. For example, if multiple entrances are known, players can investigate both, and make a choice about which they want to explore further. If the extra entrances are hidden, players may discover them from the inside, creating a natural sort of “save point,” now that they can return to town, and re-enter the dungeon further along than they started. Dungeons may also exit out into new areas: vast caverns beneath the earth, mysterious forest groves, surface temples, or deserted islands.

14. The players cannot get out the same way they got in. Perhaps the door seals behind them, or perhaps the entrance to the dungeon is a trap door down a slippery shaft. The crawl takes on a sense of urgency when it’s no longer possible to leave at your own choosing; and resources normally taken for granted–food, water, light–are transformed into timers, counting down how long the players have until their work becomes exponentially more difficult.

15. The dungeon has some internal means of rapid conveyance. Perhaps there is a train, or a set of color-coded teleportation pads in the first room, or a pipe which–when touched–causes a person to merge with it and flow forward until they will themselves to separate.

16. The rooms, when mapped together, form some kind of shape. This shape is a clue to solving one of the dungeon’s mysteries. As a simple example, perhaps there is a set of buttons in the shape of a circle, square, and triangle. Pressing the right one opens the door to the treasure room, pressing the wrong one kills you. The correct one is the triangle, which the players can guess based on the fact that the dungeon is a triangle.

17. The dungeon has an open-air layout, with sections of it being completely physically separated from one another, despite having internal continuity. Players can enter any room of the dungeon they wish, but some rooms can’t be fully realized until other rooms are investigated.

18. A specific calamity which has changed the dungeon’s layout. Many dungeons have bits of crumbled wall creating openings here, and collapsed corridors creating walls there. More interesting, I think, is to determine an event which caused structural damage to the dungeon, and allow that event to alter the whole layout, rather than just a corridor or two.

19. Puzzlebox dungeons, with big moving parts, where whole wings are locked off until some challenge is resolved. Something like a big cog or water wheel, which the players must discover how to turn; or a button they must weigh down. These, in turn, cause a statue’s mouth to open, and more rooms to become accessible. This is the sort of thing commonly found in video games, which would be all the more interesting for being presented in a situation where the players have real agency.

20. A dungeon which serves as the habitat for large groups of some benign creature. Preferably, one with some notable effect that will have an impact on how the players navigate. Perhaps the creatures can be ridden, or perhaps they screech loudly when they see light, or maybe they create an anti-magic field around themselves, or they cause magic to be amplified, or they produce weird results when eaten.

I Want to Write About Board Games.

I enjoy playing board games. One of these days, I’d like to make one, and possibly even publish it. I’ve tried to do so a few times now, but every attempt has fallen apart pretty early in the process. I have plenty of ideas, but I don’t have the skills to turn those ideas into something fun to play. I don’t even really have a good idea of what those skills are, or how to develop them.

I’ve long thought that part of the reason for this is that I don’t spend time thinking about board games the way I think about RPGs. I’ve spent the last 7 years of my life writing this blog; using it to tinker with D&D, and to build an understanding of RPG design. Before the blog, I wrote and ran adventures for my friends, made up new rules, new classes, and even attempted a couple entirely new games. With board games, by contrast, I just…play them.

That’s why, every few years, a post about board games sneaks its way onto this site. Those are my attempts to use the blog as a way of learning about board games. But, it’s a tricky thing. My bread and butter is writing about tweaks and extra content for D&D. That’s easy to do, because everybody who reads this blog either plays the same game I do, or they play a game similar enough that whatever I write could be easily converted.

If I do the same sort of tinkering with a board game, how interesting will that be to someone who hasn’t played that game? I could easily write some new races for Smallworld, or some new scenarios for Damage Report, but if you’re not familiar with the game I’m writing about, those posts will just be dead air to you.

That leads me to try writing about the games in a more generally accessible sense, avoiding the technical gobldygook that would only be interesting to someone who had played it. Realistically, that means I just end up writing reviews.

I don’t want to write reviews. They’re not interesting, they’re explicitly against the rules I’ve set for myself as a writer, and they don’t help me accomplish my goal. I want to learn how to make board games by tinkering with existing ones. Reviews don’t accomplish that.

I’d sincerely be curious to hear what other people think about this. On the one hand, part of me thinks “Fuck it! It’s my blog, it should serve whatever function is most valuable to me!” On the other hand, though, I put immense value in the readership I’ve built here. If posts where I tinker with board games would drive some portion of that readership away–(which would be totally fair)–I don’t think I want to do that. Perhaps the answer is a kind of reverse Joesky Tax. If I want to write some mini supplement for a board game, I first have to write a little review of the game to give context to people who haven’t played it.

Also, holy shit! This started as the opening to another post, but it has kade turned into a whole huge…thing all its own. I suppose I’ve been bottling up these thoughts of awhile. Now that I’ve put them into words, I feel obligated to share these thoughts, but this is too bloated to serve as an introduction to another post, and too skimpy to really stand on its own.

How about a practical experiment with that reverse Joesky Tax idea? Lets talk about Kingdom Builder!

Kingdom builder is one of my favorite board games. The base gameplay is very simple: you’ve got a hex map with various terrains on it. Every turn, you draw a card which specifies one of the types of terrain. You then place 3 settlements on that terrain type, trying to maximize your points within whatever limitations you’re dealing with.

That simplicity makes it easy to pull out and play, even if you have to teach new players, or if it’s been awhile since you played it yourself. But it’s not so simple that it’s ever boring. Indeed, I often have to study the board carefully for a good few minutes before I know where to place my pieces.

My favorite thing about the game is that it is incredibly modular. Everything can be swapped in and out with different pieces to change up the experience. The board is made up of 4 hex maps, placed next to each other in any arrangement you like. My set (The “big box,” which contains the base game and 3 expansions) has a total of 16 boards. Considering all the ways they could be arranged and flipped, you’ve got more possible layouts than I know how to calculate. And each board allows players to earn different special abilities, so that your moveset will change depending on how you set up the game.

Best of all is the game’s deck of 13 “Kingdom Builder” cards, which each have a different scoring mechanism on them. At the start of each game, the players draw 3 of these, which determine what their goals will be for that playthrough. So every time you play, you have to adapt to a new set of goals, finding synergies between them on-the-fly.

Given the modular nature of the game, it seems like a perfect place for me to start my tinkering.

Alternate Rules

Water Bridges

Rules as Written: In some places, the art depicts bridges crossing over water hexes. These are never mentioned in the rules, so they seem to have no purpose aside from being decorative.

House Rule: Any hex which shares a side with a water bridge hex may be considered adjacent to any other hex the water bridge shares a side with. This works both for settlement placement, and for scoring.

If the rule is in play, using the water bridges is an option for players. They may choose to exercise it or not on any given turn. This rule does not extend to bridges over canyons, since it is possible to build settlements there.

Random Locations

Rules as Written: Each board has two identical location icons on it. During setup, four tokens matching the location are placed on the board, divided betwixt the two spaces. Players who build settlements adjacent to a location may take the token, granting them the corresponding special ability on subsequent turns.

House Rule: During set up, all location tiles the players wish to use should be set aside in a bowl, or small bag.

The first two players to build settlements adjacent to any location hex may draw a random token from this supply, gaining its ability on their subsequent turn as normal. If a duplicate ability is drawn, the player may replace it and draw again.

Kingdom Builder Cards

Fortified – Builds settlements around location, castle, or nomad spaces. At the end of the game, players earn 6 gold for any such space which only they are adjacent to.

Highly Specialized – At the end of the game, each player should determine which of the 5 terrain types (Grass, Forest, Canyon, Desert, and Flower Fields) they have the fewest settlements placed in.

Start with 20 gold, and subtract 1 for each settlement on that terrain type the player has. The remainder is added to the player’s final score.

Wide Ranging – Each contiguous set of hexes which share an identical terrain type is counted as a single biome. This includes cross-quadrant adjacent hexes.

At the end of the game, players earn 2 gold for each biome they have a settlement in.

Guardians of the Land- At the start of play, each player draws a terrain card, and places it face-up in front of them for all to see. At the end of the game, they will receive 1 gold for each settlement that is adjacent to, but not on that terrain type.

Incomplete Thoughts

Part of the difficulty with modifying board games is making a physical artifact that is suitable to play with, This is particularly important for any component that needs to be part of a random choice, but even ignoring that, the physical artifact plays a substantial role in making a board game engaging and fun.

On the back of each of the 16 game boards, there is a scoring track printed. This is very nice, but the game hardly needs 16 different scoring tracks. It might be possible to use Hex Kit to make a board with a unique layout, print it out, and glue it over the top of some of the scoring tracks, making the boards double sided.

They’re slightly larger than an 8.5 by 11″ printer sheet, but using multiple sheets it could be possible to make a reasonably attractive play surface.

On a Red World Alone: Active & Reactive Worlds, and Keeping a Mature Campaign Alive

This bonus post is coming to you courtesy of my Patrons! If you’d like to join them in supporting quality games content like this, I’d really appreciate it! Even $1 helps me to build a more stable, sustainable patreon campaign.

Around the time the first year of ORWA was wrapping up, I wrote a bunch of tools for myself. Stuff that would help me run the game more easily, like tables of encounters, tables of locations locations, a timeline of big events, etc. By then the tone and content of the campaign were firmly established in my mind. Enough so that by using these tools, I’ve been able to run the game for a little over a year with remarkably little week-to-week prep work. A map here, an encounter there, simple stuff.

Now the game is over two years old. It doesn’t seem set to end anytime soon, but it has started to feel a bit stale. It’s time to evaluate, update, and rewrite my tools. One of my goals in this process is to make the world feel more active, rather than reactive.

At low levels, it’s easy to have an active world. The players are weak and poor, the world is dangerous, and they’ve got to do whatever they can to get by. That experience of being the underdog is a big part of why low levels are so popular, and why so many campaigns start to falter once the player characters are more well established.

When the party reaches mid-levels, there is novelty in being the ones directing the action. They’ve been living in the shadow of big scary monsters for so long, it’s edifying to be a bit of a monster themselves. Plus, you can never be so high level that a savvy referee can’t scare you.

But as the players reach higher levels, the world gets less and less scary, and the novelty of being scary themselves starts to wear off. If a level 15 characters wants to do something, there’s not much that can stop them. The world bends to their will and, as a consequence, the world reacts to the players, rather than the players reacting to the world.

Part of the solution is a shallower power scale, which is what I’m already doing with Fuck the King of Space. But it’s too late to change ORWA in such a fundamental way, even if I wanted to.

Another part of the solution is the “always a bigger fish” school of thought. Your party may be level 15, but the level 30 wizard who lives up on the hill is not impressed. This is a valid tactic, and I employ it myself, but alone it’s insufficient. This isn’t just about creating a challenge for the players. That’s easy. This is about making the world feel alive, the way it did when any mook the party met on the street could potentially be a real danger to them.

And to be clear, this isn’t about fixing something that is broken, it’s about adapting to an altered circumstance. There’s a lot of potential fun in having the players be hyper-capable relative to the rest of the world, and they’ve earned the chance to explore that. We just need to find some new ways for the world to push back.

Before each new adventure, roll a d6 on the table below, and use the result to develop a suitable event. Once you’ve determined your event you should also deduce some reasonable consequence that might be avoided by player intervention.

Exactly what the consequence will be should usually follow pretty obviously from the details of the event. For example, if a PC’s favorite hireling has been kidnapped, failing to rescue said hireling will result in them being hurt or killed. The important thing is that the consequence exists, and will definitely occur without player intervention.

Players are free to attempt to resolve, or to ignore these events as they see fit. Many will not be quite so pressing as a kidnapped hireling. Likewise, events will vary in terms of the time investment they require to resolve. Some may be sessions-long adventures, while others might be small detours that only take part of a single session, and still others may require no time at all. Perhaps the players can resolve some events merely by throwing part of their vast fortunes at it.

In a way, it doesn’t matter how much of an impact the events have on gameplay. The important thing is that they perceive the world as being less passive, less predictable, less under their control.

Roll 1d6

1. An Agent Becomes Active

I’ve discussed before how I record interesting NPCs my players meet onto a table; and that anytime they roll a 7 while determining the result of an encounter, they bump in to one of these “Recurring Characters.” It’s one of my better ideas. But, after playing with it for 18 months, I’ve got too many characters, and not enough 7s to go around.

From here on, recurring characters will be divided into two lists. The first, “Encounter Characters” will be treated the same as they always have been. When the players roll a 7, I’ll randomly determine one of these for them to bump into while out and about in the world.

More ambitious characters, on the other hand, will be added to the list of Agents. These are the NPCs with distinct long-term goals. People who want to take vengeance on the party, or fellow adventurers who view the party as friends. In other words: people who might actively seek the party out at some point in the future.

Anytime this result is rolled, the referee should randomly select one of the game’s active Agents. The time has come for the PCs to become relevant in that agent’s plans.

2. A Questgiver has Work for the PCs

Anyone can offer the players a quest. In most games, though, there are one or two NPCs who make a regular habit of it. It’s all-around helpful for everyone when the players attach themselves to someone who can reliably give them paying work. It gives the referee a simple way of introducing adventures, and it gives the party a simple way of getting paid.

As the game develops, questgivers usually become less relevant. But it never hurts to keep them around, so they can toss a little straightforward adventuring in the player’s direction now and again.

If your players are so inclined, this result could also include petitioners. People who have heard of the party’s mighty deeds, and have come to plead for aid.

3. Conspiracy Event

Very recently, I wrote about how every game I run has conspiracies going on in the background. Secret goals pursued by hidden persons, which the players may or may not uncover before the conspiracy reaches its ultimate culmination.

When this is rolled, the referee should randomly determine one of game’s conspiracies (assuming there are more than one). Something happens that is relevant both to it, and to the players. Perhaps the plot takes a big step forward, with some public consequence that seems simple at first, but might reveal more upon careful investigation. Alternately, some small corner of the conspiracy could be uncovered, becoming public knowledge.

It is less important for these to have a direct consequence, since they are building towards a large consequence later down the line.

4. Something Happens to a Player’s Resources

Randomly determine a player. No doubt, that player has accrued some resources over time: they have a hireling, a personal citadel, a magic laboratory, a vault of treasures, and a sterling reputation.

When this is rolled, the player’s friends are assaulted, their possessions burgled, their fortresses attacked, or their good names slandered. Some resource of theirs is diminished.

Be very cautious in how this particular result is applied. It is not interesting for players to describe in detail the many security precautions they take to avoid being robbed. It is best, I think, to stick to attacking resources which might reasonably be outside the player’s ability to control.

“All your gold is stolen from your private vault!” is going to cause a lot of frustration, and probably lead the players to bore you with endless descriptions of the many traps and spells they use to protect their coin.

“One of your servants was mugged, and the entire month’s food budget stolen!” is a much more reasonable option.

5. Something Happens with a Player’s Goals

Randomly determine a player. Most likely, that player has expressed some kind of personal goal they want their character to pursue. A religion they want to discredit, a territory they want to establish, a device they want to build, etc.

Pick one thing that you know the player wants, then flip a coin. There is a 50/50 chance that this event is a setback, or an opportunity.

Setbacks are a threat to the player’s ability to accomplish their goal. If they want to discredit a religion, perhaps a miracle occurs which draws in hordes of new converts. If they want to establish a territory, perhaps the land they were looking at is seized by someone else. If they want to build a device, perhaps the government bans such devices.

Opportunities  are a chance for the player to advance their goal more rapidly than they would normally be able. Using the same examples as above, this might be a religious sex scandal, a group of settlers asking the PC to help them find a new home, or some useful materials falling off the back of a truck.

6. World Event

World events are not directly related the the players. However, their results have enough impact on the environment that the players should be interested none the less. When a world event occurs, roll on the following table:

  1. A natural disaster strikes. Randomly determine, or choose a disaster as appropriate: Fire, Earthquake, Tornado, Flood, Landslide, Sinkhole, Volcano, Blizzard, Tsunami, Hurricane, Meteor.
  2. A famine or drought begins. Food becomes very scarce, and people begin to starve. Each haven turn, roll a d6. The condition persists until a 1 is rolled.
  3. A plague breaks out, the particulars of which are left to the referee. Each haven turn, roll a d6. The condition persists until a 1 is rolled.
  4. A major figure in the Dome, such as a faction leader, is assassinated.
  5. War breaks out between a faction, and one of its neighbors. Each month until an alleviation is rolled, both sides roll a d6. Whichever side rolls higher took some of their neighbor’s territory, commensurate with the difference in the size of the rolls. (So if a 1 and a 6 are rolled, the gains would be large. If a 1 and a 2 are rolled, the gains would be small).
  6. An insurrection erupts, making a territory unstable, and threatening to overthrow the existing power structure. Each haven turn, roll a d6. The condition persists until a 1 is rolled. If it is not rolled within 7 months, the insurrection will be successful.
  7. Two factions announce an alliance with one another.
  8. News of a major scandal breaks.
  9. A major religious event occurs for a randomly determined religion.
  10. A new faction emerges, and carves out a small space for itself on the map. It may be a group the players have interacted with before, something entirely new, or even something which has technically existed for awhile but which was secret up until now.
  11. A major discovery is made, and becomes widely known: perhaps a new technology is developed, perhaps a new race is encountered.
  12. A prophecy begins making its way around around. Nobody is quite sure how to interpret it, but everyone is certain that it’s important.

The Haven Turn

You may have noticed that there’s a lot of overlap between the system outlined above, and Haven Turn complications. Most notably, the list of World Events are literally copy/pasted from that post, and edited to reflect some differences in the rules.

Complications have become my favorite part of the game, and I want to bring them more to the fore. In my game, this system will replace the standard Haven Turn encounter check. But even if you don’t use the Haven Turn system, I think this method could be helpful to others running high level games.

Fuck the King of Space: Player's Guide

Have I ever mentioned that I wrote a miniature RPG book to help me run On a Red World Alone? It’s not the prettiest thing in the world, but it’s a good 25 pages of setting information and rules that I’ve slowly patched together over the two years that I’ve been running the campaign. I’ve kept it private, because it was never meant to be anything other than a personal reference document. Who would be interested in that?

Well, based on the number of people who read ORWA’s play reports, far more people are interested than I might have suspected. And now that I’m starting up a new campaign, it seems like a good time to also start being more open about some of this behind-the-scenes stuff.

So, if you’re interested, here is the 21 page player’s guide for Fuck the King of Space. I’m taking this new campaign as an opportunity to implement a lot of shit I’ve been thinking about, much of which I’ve talked about on the blog before. The document is less interesting for its novelty than it is for taking a lot of my ideas, and putting them together into a (hopefully) coherent whole. Though, there is some new stuff in there, and almost all of the old stuff has been streamlined or revised.

There’s also a lot missing, and that’s another reason I never shared the ORWA Player’s Guide. These are living documents, updated and changed as the game evolves. If this sparks any interest at all, I’ll be sure to keep the blog updated with newer versions as I write them. (Though, future updates will be announced as bonus posts, instead of serving as the main weekly post.)

Enjoy!

Fuck The King of Space Player’s Guide v0.1

 

The Value of Conspiracy

When I was first coming into my own as a Game Master (back when I called it that), I developed a lot of bad habits. I made plans about how my game would develop, and was frustrated when my players didn’t fall in line. I was obsessed with over-preparing, and frustrated with myself when I couldn’t produce a polished adventure module every month. I knew which encounters I wanted my players to succeed at, and which I wanted them to fail at. I fudged dice, and hit points, and the fabric of the shared reality itself in order to bring about my desired results. Consequently, I didn’t have any groups that lasted for very long.

Eventually, I got better at running games within this fundamentally flawed style.I learned how to develop a Big Bad Evil Guy, how to create invisible walls that weren’t very obvious to my players, how to weave a narrative into a game while still giving the players enough freedom that they didn’t feel like they were being railroaded too much, even when they were. I was good enough to have run several long, enjoyable campaigns before meeting Courtney Campbell, and being shamed into developing some better habits.

Even as far as I’ve come, though; despite all my pretty talk of ‘agency,’ and the fact that I now use the correct term “referee,” I still secretly hold to one of the worst habits imaginable. My campaigns still have a BBEG, and I still keep an idea in my head of what the player’s eventual final encounter with that BBEG will be like.

Already I can hear people banging on my door, and it sounds like they have pitchforks. I suppose I’d better qualify that statement before I get kicked out of the OSR. Without a saving throw, if you know what I mean.

When I say my campaigns still have a BBEG, what I mean is that I usually have an NPC who is very powerful, and has a goal which the players will probably oppose. And when I say I keep an idea in my head of what the final encounter will be like, what I mean is that once the players have caught the attention of this powerful NPC, that NPC will begin to make plans for some eventual confrontation.

So, that’s not so bad, yeah? Can ya’ll take this noose off from around my neck now, and let my climb down off of this horse? Please?

I’ve taken to calling this element of my games “The Conspiracy.” An inscrutable plot, controlled by hidden actors, in the pursuit of unknown goals. It’s something that exists more for my amusement than for any practical reason, but they do serve a useful role in pushing the game forward, and giving disassociated game elements something to cohere around.

For example, I’ll use the conspiracy from my long-defunct ToKiMo campaign. From the player’s perspective, the world was in crisis because an ancient evil dragon had awakened, and was flying around causing havoc wherever it went. In truth, the dragon was a pawn. It had been enchanted by the kingdom’s princess, who also happened to be a naturally talented sorceress.

Her father, the King, had 20 years of life left in him. And even when he did die, male primogeniture meant one of her younger brothers would inherit the crown. She wanted to be rid of anyone with a clear claim ahead of hers, and to become so revered and powerful that convention would be forgotten in favor of her rule. Step one of that plan was putting the nation into a crisis that established power structures couldn’t handle, thus, the dragon. Step two was something about tricking a general into thinking that he was the one plotting a coup, I dunno, I’ve mostly forgotten the details. It was 6+ years ago.

Now, let’s assume I want to send the players into a dungeon to get a weird object. A wizard offers to pay them 500 silver coins if they retrieve a sack of Razorsilk from the great worms beneath The Forgotten Keep. Simple, timeless, classic adventure hook. It doesn’t need any further explanation, because Wizards be Wizards, ya’ll. But in my head, I connect it to the conspiracy. In my head, I know the Wizard wants these silks, because an agent of the Princess has hired them to perform a particular ritual.

More than likely, this will not come up in play. But, if the players get curious, I have the conspiracy to fall back on as a reason for just about anything that anybody wants. I can even drop a few clues if I feel like it. When the wizard receives the Razorsilk, they mutter something about how “this’ll finally get that pushy cigarette smoking man off my back.” The kind of thing that will be taken as fluff dialogue, and probably ignored. 10 sessions later, when another NPC mentions the cigarette smoking man, maybe they’ll connect the dots, or maybe they won’t.

In another example, let’s say the players have slain one of the big dragon’s children, and they’re looting its lair. They come across a luxurious suite of rooms meant to accommodate humans. It’s a weird detail. Maybe they investigate it, or maybe they don’t. The truth is that I never expected them to kill this dragon. I threw the lair together in 10 minutes while I was pretending to be pooping. Having this weird background detail of the conspiracy gave me something to riff of of: maybe the princess visits this dragon sometimes? And if she does, part of the lair would be suited for her comfort.

I think I’d be lying, though, if I claimed my conspiracies exist because they serve as a convenient backdrop to the campaign. They exist because I enjoy concocting evil plots, and imagining climactic showdowns that never come to pass. I get giddy when I think about how shocked the players will be when all is revealed.

But, of course, agency must be preserved. So, I drop hints, which is perhaps the most thrilling part of all. It’s like playing a game of chicken. How far can I go before everything is obvious? Was the thing that NPC said, or the title I gave that session report too obvious of a clue? Is everything about to unravel, and if it does, what exciting new developments will that mean for the campaign?

Players may never catch on to the conspiracy. My players never really pursued the dragon thing very much at all, preferring to push out into the wilderness. Nobody ever realized that The Motherless Warlock had created Dungeon Moon so he could watch over it like a mix between God, and Reality Television. The Ascendant Crusade group never knew that their favorite NPC was evil.

And what happens if they do figure it out? That has only ever happened to me once, when some first level scrubs decided they wanted to know why anyone in a post apocalypse would want a computer chip. When it did happen, I did my best to roll with the punches, and it wound up spawning the most successful campaign I’ve ever run in my life. (Complete with a second conspiracy layered on top, to replace the first one).

I’m curious to know if this is a common thing for referees to do. I suppose, if it is, they probably never mention it. Shit, am I revealing secrets?

What’s that pounding on my door?