d100 Secret Weaknesses

A table inspired by a recent session in which my players consulted a spymaster. They wanted to learn if the evil wizard they were about to confront had any weaknesses to exploit, and it seemed the sort of thing there ought to be a d100 table for. I’ve endeavored to represent a wide variety of weaknesses here: social, intellectual, physical, magical. Some may work for a given character better than others.

  1. Insecure in their own conclusions. Tend to rely too much on the approval of those around them, and are afraid of doing anything that might be terribly unpopular.
  2. Gambler. Can’t resist an interesting bet, and may find themselves in frequent financial distress because of it.
  3. Maintains a predictable routine. Meals always at the same time, meets with contacts regularly, etc.
  4. Often talks to themselves without realizing it, giving voice to thoughts they might not otherwise wish to express.
  5. All their plans contain some intentional signature or tell. Perhaps all the spies who work for them use rhyming code names. Maybe they work the number 116 into all their plots.
  6. In direct combat they rely overmuch on a predictable tactic. Something which works against foes who aren’t expecting it, but could easily be turned against them by a foe who is.
  7. They ramble. Questions that give them something to pontificate over will distract them.
  8. They’re a braggart. They’re prone to accidentally reveal secrets of which they are proud, and to gloat when they have the upper hand on their enemies.
  9. Lazily sleeps the whole day away if they can get away with it. If not for others making them get up and do things, they’d never have accomplished anything with their lives.
  10. They’re vain. They prize their own appearance, intellect, physical prowess, or artistic taste very highly. Whatever it is, they’re easily manipulated by flattering what they value about themselves.
  11. Focuses entirely too much on tactics (the moves within a battle), and almost entirely neglects strategy (the moves outside a battle). A classic example of this would be the armchair general who spends all their time thinking about how to position their troops, but no time at all thinking about how to feed their troops.
  12. They have a sickly family member (spouse, child, etc.) whose wellbeing they obsess over.
  13. Burdened with a traumatic memory. Perhaps something experienced in childhood, or the severe chaos that results from oppression, war, famine, etc. They’ve developed some irrational behaviors to deal with this trauma, and anything which reminds them too starkly of what they’ve endured can prompt them to erratic action, or even stun them with flashbacks.
  14. Unaddressed anger issues. Ridiculously small things will set them off, and they obsess over perceived insults. Easily aggravated into foolish action.
  15. They’re loud like…all the time. It’s surprisingly easy to sneak up on them because their own talking, walking, hand drumming, and whistling drown out any sounds that might reveal a skulking foe.
  16. The more people simultaneously observe them, the weaker they become. At least a couple dozen people are required to produce any noticeable effect. For obvious reasons, they avoid crowds.
  17. Certain of their protections, powers, or abilities are tied to the specific plane of reality in which they exist most of the time. If they were shifted to a different plane, they’d be much weaker.
  18. Their protections, powers, or abilities were granted to them because they performed a magic ritual. This ritual must be renewed on a regular schedule with exact timing. The window may be as long as a day, or as brief as a few seconds, but if it’s missed they lose everything the ritual gave them.
  19. Some common thing is absolute poison to them. It’s a wonder they haven’t been killed by it before! Perhaps they’re weak to water, or human contact, or the common cold, or a light breeze.
  20. Their protections, powers, or abilities are bound to the performance of a magic ritual. This ritual must be performed constantly, and so there is a secret location where their adherents do just that. Perhaps it is in the deepest sub level of their fortress, or in a secluded monastery half the world away.
  21. Some protection, power, or ability which they purport to be intrinsic to themselves in some way is actually granted to them by some magical or technological item they wear.
  22. A protection, power, or ability they have requires vast sums of money to be donated to a particular religious or magical organization each year. So much money that they must dedicate a lot–perhaps even most–of their effort to gathering it.
  23. Singing harms them. Perhaps it is so unpleasant they are forced to flee from it, or perhaps it actually chips away at their hit points.
  24. They suffer under a curse.
  25. Weakened by the presence of of some particular mineral. Certainly a rare one, and perhaps even otherworldly or unique.
  26. A prophecy specifies a particular weapon, or type of person that will kill them. They are terrified of this thing, and have gone to absurd lengths to keep all examples of it far away from themselves.
  27. Prefers never to start fights, but rather to lure others into committing themselves, then counter-punching.
  28. Relies on emulating the methods of a particular great master. Studying that master in depth would make it easy to predict their plans and actions.
  29. Their powers, abilities, or protections suffer from some odd drawback. The boon and the drawback are not at all thematically connected. (Eg. If they can cast fireball at will, perhaps they go blind for 10 seconds after every use. Or if they’re immune to damage from cutting weapons, perhaps each sword blow deletes important information from their memory.)
  30. Unwilling or unable to extend empathy to people. Human relationships are all calculus to them. They will always fail to account for loyalty both in how they assess their foes, and in how they treat their own people.
  31. Easily bored. Important tasks are often left unfinished, or delegated to underlings who are less thorough, invested, and competent than they themselves would be.
  32. They do not handle failure well. They’re used to easy success, and when they occasionally fail it sends them into crippling depression and indecision.
  33. They’re a pedant, and an expert at lying to themselves. Every failure will be rationalized away as the fault of others. Hard evidence will be quietly ignored, and those who present it will be written off as ’emotional.’
  34. Absolutely intransigent about the way things “should” be, and what they are “owed.” They’ll call it “integrity.” No matter how the situation changes they will never budge an inch.
  35. Easily distracted by a good time. They’ll often be found drinking and partying when they ought to be working. Only an undeniable external pressure can get them to focus on their goals.
  36. Irrationally beholden to a parent’s approval. Their parent may be alive and pushing them, or their parent may be dead and they’re obsessed with living up to an inflated memory.
  37. Easily succumbs to sexual desire. Someone who fits their taste in partners will have an easy time getting close to them.
  38. An old injury never healed properly. Somewhere on their body is a spot which, if struck, causes dramatic pain. They may even lose the use of some part of their body, and in extreme cases may be entirely debilitated for days at a time.
  39. They are severely allergic to something. A food, a plant, an animal. Exposure might hinder them, or might kill them.
  40. Hard of hearing. Perhaps deaf on one side.
  41. Epileptic. A variety of things might trigger their seizures: flashing lights, loud noises, specific foods, stress, heat, lack of sleep, etc.
  42. Their powers, abilities, or protections could be taken from them by a particular ritual. The ritual is very difficult to perform, or perhaps very difficult to learn.
  43. They require a placid emotional state to be effective. They’ve worked hard to free themselves from any intense feeling, but they are not immune to it. If their passions are raised, they will lose much of their ability.
  44. Their powers, abilities, or protections are dependent on belief. If the relevant people stop believing in them (either the masses, or simply a single relevant individual), then the abilities cease to function.
  45. Certain sense data will activate a ‘glitch’ in their brain structure. Perhaps seeing a given color or shape, hearing a certain sound, or feeling a given texture is what does it.
  46. If they are physically restrained, some of their power vanishes until they are freed.
  47. They lack some skill which is almost universally common. Perhaps they cannot swim, or read, or drive a car.
  48. They cannot actually control whatever it is that makes them a threat. If they are a great swordsperson, perhaps there is actual a skilled spirit which takes control of them at its whims. If they are a magician, perhaps their magic only comes to them in moments of extreme stress.
  49. Another personality lives within their mind. They work hard to suppress it, but this other personality does NOT approve of what the dominant personality is doing.
  50. They are bound by a strict code of honor which limits their actions. For example, they will never fight an unarmed foe.
  51. Suffers from some acute, irrational fear. Cowers in terror from the dark, flees from spiders, that sort of thing.
  52. Committed some terrible crime in their past which they’ve managed to keep hidden from their friends and supporters. If brought to light it would undo them.
  53. Their body rejects whatever the most direct and useful form of healing is. Whether it’s magic spells or injections of science goo, it causes them to vomit and convulse until they’ve lost as much health as would have been gained by a normal person.
  54. Hemophilia. Their blood does not clot properly, and so any injury which gets them bleeding is incredibly dangerous.
  55. Their vision is quite poor. They really ought to wear glasses, but don’t for whatever reason. Or perhaps they do, but their vision is so bad that glasses can’t fully compensate for it.
  56. Accident prone. Perhaps they lack a good sense of balance, or good situational awareness, but they frequently stumble on stairs, knock things off tables, bump into walls, etc.
  57. They refuse to think about the secondary consequences of their actions. They never plan more than a single “move” in advance. Complicated strategy confuses them, and is dismissed as “too convoluted.”
  58. Easily falls into tunnel vision. Whatever they’re focused on becomes their whole world, and it takes a very serious interruption for them to give attention to anything else.
  59. They are chemically dependent on some substance. Either something originally taken for pleasure like alcohol or opium, or a medicine taken to treat a chronic illness.
  60. Trusts too much in the power of fear as a means of ensuring cooperation from their subjects, soldiers, and allies.
  61. Relies over-much on the element of surprise. They might act in random, even detrimental ways, because they believe it will throw their opponent off guard.
  62. Believes in the ultimate supremacy of one type of power, and ignores all others. For example, they might be so impressed with military strength that they ignore the importance of political power, or of having good information.
  63. A soft spot on their skull never closed up properly when they were a baby, leaving them more vulnerable to head trauma than most.
  64. Color blindness makes it difficult for them to identify many signs and symbols dependent on color.
  65. A prudish disposition. They are shocked and disgusted by strong language, sex, spicy food, or by anyone who enjoys such things. It’s surprising how strong a reaction you can get out of them with a simple curse word.
  66. Has made a great number of enemies, all of whom are potential allies to the players. Some of these enemies are dedicated enough to die for revenge.
  67. Embroiled in a secret love affair which could destroy an important alliance if it were brought to light. Alternatively, their partner or other family member is the one embroiled in the affair, and they have no knowledge of it.
  68. Lacks immunity to some common childhood ailment which can be serious, or even deadly, if caught as an adult.
  69. Proud of their expertise in some given skill. Very defensive about it too, must always prove that they’re the best whenever anyone else claims to be decent at it.
  70. Believes everyone is just as selfish/greedy/cowardly as they themselves are. If they’d sell their mother for a sack of gold, then they may easily be tricked into thinking another person would do the same.
  71. They distrust experts. They’re much more likely to believe in the opinions of a friend, or the ramblings of a seer. Probably a nepotist.
  72. Has an overinflated sense of how much loyalty they inspire in people. It’s almost inconceivable to them that anyone would betray them.
  73. Underestimates anyone who isn’t part of their social in-group. For example, a wizard might believe nobody who lacks magical powers could be a threat to them. An aristocrat might dismiss anyone from a lower social class. Etc.
  74. Their genitalia are mangled, either by some complication of their birth, or some accident they suffered in life. Sex is embarrassing, difficult, and possibly even painful. They’re very pent up.
  75. Afflicted with Asthma. Cold environments, extended physical activity, dust, and other irritants can bring on an attack which leaves them wheezing and unable to breathe properly.
  76. Afflicted with Diabetes. They must carefully monitor their intake of sugars. If one were to replace all their cookies with sugar-free ones, it could be deadly.
  77. They are unwilling to accept any colatoral injuries or death for their actions. Taking a hostage would be an effective tactic against them. Kinda means you’re the villain, though.
  78. They benefit and are protected by the favor of some individual. A person who might be convinced to stop.
  79. Has made a silly oath in their past. Perhaps they regret it, but for whatever reason they are intent on upholding it. Perhaps it is a matter of personal honor, or maybe breaking the oath would have magical consequences.
  80. Lives in a social bubble. They’re unaware of much that has been done in their name because the people around them only tell them what they want to hear.
  81. Is a member of a much-loathed social group, which prevents them from ever being fully accepted by their peers. Perhaps they are of an untouchable caste, immigrated from an enemy nation, or simply come from a poor family.
  82. Place entirely too much faith in the tried and true. “If it worked for our forefathers it will work for us,” “the wall has repelled every attack for a thousand years, it won’t fall now.” They are ill prepared for dealing with new technologies or methods.
  83. They are comfortable in the assumption that greater force will always win out in the end. So long as they have the biggest stick in town, they’re not worried.
  84. The powers, abilities, or protections of the character are tied to a given location. The further they get from it, the weaker they are. Likewise the closer they get, the stronger. Perhaps the location is the place of their birth, or the place where they made their pact with the devil, or any number of other options.
  85. The true name of this character, when spoken in their presence, removes a magical protection or otherwise weakens them.
  86. There is an innocuous, non-damaging spell. It’s probably a first level one from the basic list. When this spell is cast on them, it has wild extra effects.
  87. In a great deal of debt. Perhaps it is money to a bank or patron, or perhaps they’re in debt to a demon or wizard for some less common currency. Regardless, they’re not being very good about paying it back. Their creditor is not happy.
  88. The sun is tied to their powers, abilities, or protections in some way. Either it sustains them, or surpresses them, so that their abilities fluctuate throughout the day according to how much sunlight they’re exposed to. Could also work with the moon.
  89. Is in terrible physical shape. Can’t lift or run much at all, gets exhausted easily.
  90. One of their powers can be warded against by an incredibly obscure, but quite simple method.
  91. They are secretly some sort of creature other than what they pretend. Perhaps they’re a vampire pretending to be human, or a human pretending to be a lich, or a pile of snakes pretending to be an angel. Regardless, they have all the weaknesses inherent to their true form.
  92. Holds to a deep belief in some elaborate, exploitable fiction. Perhaps a set of superstitions, social norms about gender or sex, a religious belief system, or a fortune teller.
  93. Has a compromised immune system. They are prone to catch any disease they are exposed to.
  94. Gullible. Can be tricked much more easily than they ought to be.
  95. Is a truly terrible speaker. They jump all over the place, forget what they’re driving at, and will ultimately fail to be convincing if they ever need to make an important speech.
  96. In the past their life was saved by a time traveler. One who has not yet gone back in time to save them, and who might be stopped.
  97. Satisfying their ultimate desires is actually much simpler than they think it is. For example, they might think they want to conquer the world, but really they just want someone to love them. If someone is found to love them, then conquering the world will suddenly seem a great deal less important.
  98. Miserly. They’re unlikely to ever spend money unless they feel it’s absolutely essential. Anyone they hire doubtless feels underpaid, and any buildings or equipment they’re responsible for are probably ill-maintained.
  99. Wholeheartedly believes in the value of individualism. Refuses to acknowledge the role anyone else has had in their past successes, and refuses to accept any help that would diminish their sense of self reliance.
  100. Believes they have a magical protection against a certain sort of harm which they actually do not have. Perhaps they did at one time, but it has worn off.

Bangtail Class (Revised)

To be a D&D character is to be an undesirable. Someone for whom society does not care, and who must step outside the bounds of ‘acceptable behavior’ to survive. That’s why they’re willing to face absurd dangers; why they plunder tombs, and dare the mythic underworld; why the Thief is a quintessential class. Sex Workers are D&D as hell.

The Bangtail was originally published in April of 2016. I originally wrote it as a sort of reskin of the Thief, and I think I did a truly terrible job of it. I’ve had a player running a Bangtail in one of my games for a couple years now, and I frequently forget that they’re playing one. The original draft of the class so thoroughly fails to make any notable mark on the game. It needs a much more dramatic overhaul than the Bear in Disguise or Giftgiver did.

Bangtail

There’s a skill to being a courtesan. It’s more than just being good at doing a sex on the peoples what that give you a money. To be a true queen of the craft you must understand your own charms, and your quarry’s weaknesses. You’ve got to know how to draw them in, and how to keep them where you want them: in the palm of your hand.

Bangtails have a d6 hit die. They advance according to the Fighter’s experience table, and attack as a thief/specialist/rogue.

Saving Throws

The Bangtail’s work can be pretty gross. They’re regularly exposed to all manner of vectors for disease and infection, and have accumulated great stores of knowledge for how to protect themselves. The generally low regard with which they are viewed prevents their knowledge from being taken seriously, and has thus become a sort of ‘trade secret.’

Most saving throws are rolled as a thief of equivalent level. Saving throws versus Poison, however, are always one rank better than a thief’s would be. For example: a Labyrinth Lord thief’s Poison save is 14 from levels 1-4, then drops to 12 at level 5. A Bangtail’s Poison save would start at 12, and drop to 10 at level 5. (Which for the thief, does not occur until level 9.)

Life of the Party

Bangtails are skilled in a wide variety of party tricks and performances: singing, dancing, games, comedy, etc. At character creation a player ought to pick one sort of performance at which their Bangtail excels.

Sneak Attack

One can’t make it far in this profession without the anatomical expertise to make a person feel great pleasure or great pain. Because of this, Bangtails may Backstab as a thief of equivalent level. If playing LotFP, assume x2 at first level, and advancing one multiplier on every even numbered level.

Amorous Gymnastics

Flexibility and grace are an occupational necessity, and like all aspects of her craft, the Bangtail has raised this to an artform. The possibilities are broad, and intentionally left open to interpretation. A few examples of what a successful check might allow are:

  • Fit themselves into spaces that might normally be considered too small, and move freely in those spaces: easily slip through the bars of a prison cell, or hide in a briefcase.
  • Escape any manner of bondage, no matter how thorough.
  • Balance under even the most difficult circumstances.
  • Hang out of a window for several minutes before tiring.
  • Generally use their body in unusual ways, such as firing a bow with their feet.

Because Amorous Gymnastics overlaps with tasks often resolved by skill systems, and because skill systems are so varied, integrating it into a game will require some judgement on the part of the referee.

If the game allows all characters to gain and spend skill points, Amorous Gymnastics might be considered a sort of combination of different skills, available only to the Bangtail, and something she can put points into or not.

If the game’s thief equivalent is the only class that advances their skills, matching a thief’s progression in some similar skill might be appropriate.

Failing all else: check Amorous Gymnastics by attempting to roll a 5 or higher on progressively larger dice. A d6 is rolled at first level, advancing to a d8 at level 3, a d10 at level 5, and a d12 at level 7.

Fans

Fans are a type of hireling which are drawn to the Bangtail automatically as she levels. She may have a number of them equal to half her level, rounded up. They are particularly devoted, with each having a loyalty score of d4 + 8.

Devoted though they may be, Fans are not cannon fodder. They have placed the Bangtail on a pedestal, and may write her many flowery poems about being willing to die in her service, but they have their own wants and needs, and are not inhumanly immune to fear. If one dies, the Bangtail cannot replace them until the next time she levels up.

Charm

In games which use the 2d6 reaction roll as the “attack roll” of a social encounter, Bangtails receive a flat +1 bonus to all such rolls.

In games which use other social resolution mechanics, some equivalently significant bonus should be substituted.

Seduction

No two seductions are quite alike, and they depend very much on who the Bangtail’s quarry is. Seducing the drunk lecher may be as simple as the player saying they wish to do so. Seducing the devotedly attached and monogamous cleric would likely require a series of successful social encounters over many weeks. Seducing a skeleton may be completely impossible–or it may not.

If a system for seduction is needed, try this: for any given NPC roll 3d6. Drop the lowest if they ought to be difficult to seduce, and drop the highest if they ought to be easy to seduce. The resulting number is their resistance to the Bangtail’s charms. It is reduced by 1 each time the Bangtail makes a successful social roll against them, and at 0 they will be eager to find some place to be alone together.

Regardless of how it is accomplished, 4 hours are required for the Bangtail to thoroughly demonstrate the many delights to which she can inspire mortal flesh.

Once someone has been seduced, the Bangtail gains a number of boons with regard to them:

  • Social rolls made with a seduced person have a total bonus of +2.
  • Attack rolls made against a seduced person have a bonus equal to the Bangtail’s level.
  • If the Bangtail and the seduced person do not share a language, they are able to communicate as effectively as if they did.
  • The Bangtail comes away knowing d6 secrets the seduced person would not normally have revealed. The Bangtail decides what type of secrets they are, but the referee determines the specific information. (ex. “I want to know something that embarrasses them,” or “I want to know the combination for their vault.”)
  • The Bangtail comes away owning any one object they wish to take from the seduced person, so long as it is small enough to be carried. In the case of particularly valuable objects, the seduced person may regret their decision, and attempt to get the item back later.

How to run sex in games without making it weird

I once wrote a whole essay on this topic which I’d encourage you to reference if you feel conflicted. In brief, sex in games works just fine for most people so long as you keep three points in mind:

  • Sex in the game shouldn’t be about anyone’s actual sexual gratification. If you’re getting aroused, then you’re doing it wrong.
  • Describe characters having sex in the game the way you’d describe those same characters eating an unusual meal. There’s no need to ‘fade to black,’ but neither is there any need for a play-by-play.
  • People’s comfort level with sex in D&D varies wildly, and it should be easy to respect that.