On Halloween, the players may approach any NPC in the game and ask “Trick, or Treat?” The referee should then roll on the table below to determine how the NPC responds.

Also, if you call Halloween “The Day of Ghosts” or “Spook Night” or any other uniquely fantastified non-name, you are a fuckin’ goober. Holidays aren’t copyrighted, why do people keep coming up with legally distinct versions of holiday names? It is dumb.

The Trick or Treater…

1. Gets a big bag of rocks.

2. Gets a big bag of candy!

3. Is afflicted with intense flatulence for the next few hours.

4. Will be an instant expert with the next musical instrument they get their hands on.

5. Is startled by a monster from the random encounter table, which pops out to spook them.

6. Will be able to breathe underwater for the next few hours.

7. Will only be able to breathe underwater for the next few hours.

8. Gets a bar of chocolate called “Save-U-Latr”. Eating it grants a +4 bonus to your next saving throw.

9. Gets a bar of chocolate called “Save-U-Latr”. Eating it grants a -4 penalty on your next saving throw.

10. Gains a +1 to their chance to get a random surprise round, until the next time they get a random surprise round.

11. Will get their bones broken the next time they’re struck in combat.

12. Will only take the minimum amount of possible damage from the next attack they are struck by.

13. Gets a Jack-O-Lantern stuck on their head. They can’t get it off until it starts to rot and get soft and squishy.

14. Has their clothes illusion’d, so they appear to be wearing a very spooky costume.

15. Is left in the care of a young child, which they must care for, or be arrested for criminal neglect.

16. Has their face painted in a colorful and fun way.

17. Is afflicted with an allergy to Dungeon Dust, which causes them to sneeze any time they’re in ancient places.

18. Receives a balloon animal of their choosing from the NPC.

19. Gets a spanking for some naughty thing the NPC saw them do. It is not the fun kind of spanking.

20. Is temporarily gifted with 5lb telekinesis.

21. Is recognized by someone nearby they owe a debt to, who wants them to pay up immediately and won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

22. Is absolutely perfect at climbing trees, until the following evening.

23. Is given the opportunity to weed the NPC’s garden, chop their firewood, and run a few errands in town for them. No takesie-backsies on Trick or Treats. Or else.

24. GETS A PONY!

25. Gets a case of the hiccups that just won’t quit. Each time they hiccup, little bubbles come out of their mouth. When they pop, they say the thoughts that the character never would have said out-loud.

26. Learns that they are unconditionally loved by someone in their life. And really, isn’t that the greatest treat of all?

27. Is cursed with a terrible haircut.

28. Is given a bag of magic seeds, which will grow into full grown crops in a single week, no matter the weather or the quality of the soil.

29. Is cursed, so that every chair they sit in for the next year will have a whoopie cushion on it. Even if they pause to remove the cushion, it will simply reappear on the chair when they do finally sit.

30. Will almost immediately be approached and greeted by someone they’ve always wanted to meet, but probably never would have had the opportunity to.

31. Has all of their teeth rot and fall out within the next few weeks.

32. Gets tickets to the carnival, an event more fun than it has any right to be. You’re seriously in for a pretty dang good time.

33. Starts to experience severe back pains, which reduces their encumbrance.

34. Is graced with an official title. It has little material benefit, but will be recognized and respected by everyone within the culture in which it was given.

35. Will be pooped on by birds. A lot. For a very long time. This character is suddenly a favored target.

36. A candied apple, which heals 2d8 hit points. Any hit points rolled above the maximum are gained as temporary hit points.

37. Has a face which, everyone will agree, is a very scary mask. Because they are ugly.

38. Will be transformed into a kid.

39. Is now in trouble with the authorities! The NPC called for them immediately. Trick or Treating is only for children, and any adult caught doing it is obviously some kind of deviant.

40. Will experience a My Little Pony style lesson moment, about the importance of friendship.

41. Gets a potato.

42. Meets a rat named Bently, who wants to be their friend.

43. Is given a coupon book for the goods and services local to the town. The coupons are all very confusingly worded, and have obtuse requirements that make them a huge pain in the ass to use. Some are expired.

44. Receives a magic hat, which makes them an expert at ice sculpture.

45. Is cursed so that, any time they walk through a town, they will be struck by falling garbage and emptied chamber pots from the windows above them.

46. Gets an excellent toy doll, with articulated joints. It’s the best toy ever.

47. Learns all the gossip their companions have been saying about them behind their back. The referee is free to make up whatever they want, so long as it’s likely to hurt the Trick or Treater’s feelings.

48. Receives a book on the subject of local myths and legends. (After reading it, the player is free to ask the referee 4 questions on the subject, and have them answered with complete honesty).

49. Must make a mandatory visit to the dentist.

50. Is given a temporary tattoo, which glows with cool runes and shit.

51. Will probably be surprised when the NPC disappears into a puff of smoke.

52. Gets a good wash from the NPC. They really get in there with a brush and make you smell nice.

53. Will be pelted with rotten eggs.

54. Is blessed, such that the next monster they meet will be friendly.

55. Gets scolded by the NPC for wearing such low visibility clothing on such a dangerous night. Is forced to wear a reflective vest which will ruin any attempt at stealth.

56. Is given a glass of unpleasant-tasting vegetable juice. It’s not fun to consume, but once you’ve got it down, you feel completely reinvigorated. You don’t need to sleep again for 2 days, and won’t take any penalties at all from doing so.

57. Will be transformed into a goblin for the next 48 hours.

58. Receives a paper mache mask, which is shockingly convincing as the face of some other creature, but is very fragile and will break easily.

59. Has their gender swapped.

60. Discovers that undead creatures are friendly to them, until the next time they harm one.

61. Has all of their meaty-bits turn transparent, so that they appear to be a walking skeleton. I call them Skello-persons, which is legally distinct from any similar, Carcosan entities.

62. Will be overjoyed when that one really weird, fucked-up sex thing that they’re into becomes completely commonplace until the next full moon. Everybody will be talking about it, and be eager to do it. Later it will be regarded as a fad.

63. Knows that their mother is mad at them. They don’t know why, but she is, and she might yell at them at any moment.

64. Is blessed, such that people they meet regard their opinion of high importance, and will be very interested to know the character’s thoughts on just about any subject. This effect gradually fades over the course of a week.

65. Will be chased by a pack of ravenous dogs. (10 per level of the character)

66. Will be chased by a pack of adorable puppies (3 per level of the character)

67. Drugs lose all of their effects for this character. They become forcibly sober, because nothing can get them buzzed.

68. Just once, if they jump out of a glass window, they can land wherever they want, and can roll just right so that they only take 2hp of damage. 1 from the glass, and 1 from the fall.

69. A cloud of rain forms over the character’s head, and will follow them around wherever they go.

70. The next time they would die, it was all a dream. They wake up in their bed.

71. All foods affect the character’s mind as if they were drugs, causing them to exist in a constant haze.

72. Must choose an animal. All instances of that animal, all over the world, can now fly. If they could already fly, then now they can swim. If they could already fly and swim, then what the fuck, they can teleport.

73. Birds can talk now, but they only speak to the Trick or Treater, and all they ever do is talk shit.

74. The next harmful spell the Trick or Treater would be affected by is warped, so that the Trick or Treater is instead granted Protection from Evil.

75. Their nose gets all big and warty.

76. Becomes significantly more attractive. Two or three points up on a ten point scale, at the very least.

77. The next time they would run, they run as if they were underwater.

78. The NPC tells them that their next attack will be “a little more effective than normal.” Their next attack will be an auto-hit, auto-kill, no matter what their target is. Under no circumstances should the player be aware of the full potency of this treat.

79. Every coin in the Trick or Treater’s possession goes down by one denomination. Gold becomes silver, silver becomes copper, copper becomes stone, etc.

80. The next time you sleep, you dream of reading that book you’ve been meaning to read. When you wake up, you have all the knowledge of the book, as if you had read it.

81. Gets their shoes tied together.

82. Is empowered with the skills of an expert tapdancer.

83. Is cursed, so that their weapon becomes stuck in its scabbard during the next combat.

84. Is blessed, such that everything the Trick or Treater eats tastes like candy.

85. Hands become so sticky that anything they touch becomes stuck to them until some water is poured over their hands.

86. Receives a really comfortable pair of shoes, which will make all of their traveling around much more comfortable. There’s no mechanical benefit, but dang, it’s just a way nicer way to adventure, ya know?

87. From now on, whenever they sleep, their dreams will appear floating above their heads for anyone nearby to watch.

88. For the next few days, all reaction rolls are made at a +1. Everyone is just being kinda cool to you, yo. It’s the harvest season, and people are just kinda chill, ya know?

89. A serial killer has decided that you need to be their next victim. They’re stalking you now, and they’ll come for you next time you’re alone.

90. The NPC casually hands over some item or piece of information which significantly advances the players along some quest they were already invested in. It doesn’t solve the whole thing for them, or anything, but it will sure make their lives a whole lot easier.

91. Your butt falls off. There is no longer any way for you to sit, or to fart, or to poop, or to enjoy the pleasures of anal stimulation.

92. The NPC relates some information regarding a small inheritance the Trick or Treater is entitled to. All they need to do is go claim it from the executor of their great aunt’s estate.

93. The NPC calls out for help, claiming that the Trick or Treater attacked them with great violence.

94. The NPC passes along info regarding a friendly water Nymph, who is currently fed up with other nature spirits and wants to make some human friends.

95. A bag of tasty tasty popcorn, a kernel of which gets stuck in your teeth, and will remain lodged there FOREVER, giving you uncomfortable mouth pressures.

96. The NPC offers to do your laundry. They’ll do a really good job of it, too. It’ll all feel very soft and warm when they’re done.

97. Dogs no longer trust the Trick or Treater, which is bad, because people always put an undue amount of faith in whether or not a dog likes a person.

98. The NPC offers comfortable accommodations for the night, complete with soft beds, privacy, and meals.

99. The NPC offers to perform oral sex. They are really, really, painfully bad at it.

100. The Trick or Treater is entitled to one Wish.

For each piece of armor found, roll once or twice on the table to determine what materials it’s made from. Everything on this list is super realistic. If you find something you think is unrealistic, it’s just because you don’t understand something that I do understand. Because I am a very smart boy.

1. Street signs, such as “Stop,” “Yield,” or “Children at Play.”
2. Car body pieces, like the hood, doors, or bumper.
3. Rubber tires.
   
4. Sheet metal
5. Leather, perhaps in the form of an old world jacket, or something tanned in the post apocalypse. In the case of the latter, it may be human leather.
   
6. Chain link fence.
7. Cookware, like pots, pans, or baking sheets.
   
8. Layered silverware or cutlery
9. Plywood, probably from some old Ikea furniture.
10. Books of any sort. Paperbacks or magazines work just as well as hardbacks or coffee table books. Don’t underestimate the stopping force of layered paper!
11. A weave of cables and wiring.
12. Folded duct tape.
13. Regular old-world clothing, like a T-shirt, but stacked in layer upon layer upon layer until it’s formidable armament.
14. Protective sports equipment, like football shoulder pads, hockey goalie leg pads, or a BMX biker’s helmet.
15. Bones from various creatures, animals, beasts, and humans.
16. The carapace of a giant, mutated insect.
17. Soles from old shoes.
18. Old plumbing pipes, made of metal or PVC.
19. Carpeting torn up from a floor, possibly layered to make it thicker.
20. Cut-up metal cans, like you would use for paint or oil, or Campbell’s soup. 
21. Children’s plastic toy armor.
22. Ludicrous cosplayer armor, which can be made mostly functional if you cut off all the extraneous spikes.
23. Some piece of medieval reenactor armor. It’s probably not actually made of metal, or if so, it’s probably not made terribly well.
24. Real medieval armor. Before the apocalypse, this would have been a valuable historical artifact.
25. Police riot gear, well preserved from the per-apocalypse.
26. Chain link made from belt-buckles.
27. An old robot chasis that a human can squeeze themselves inside of.
28. Animal cages.
29. A lifejacket
30. Old AOL disks, pinned together.
31. Motorcycle safety gear.
32. Safety gear from a construction site, like a hard hat, gloves, or reflective vest.
33. Welder gear, either the mask, or the heavy apron.
34. One of those lead-lined aprons dentists put on people when they X-Ray them.
35. Firefighter PPE.
36. Wicker, probably taken from some old patio furniture.
37. Soft, thick pads, like pillows, couch cushions, or even just a comforter.
38. License plates
39. Chainmail made from carabiners
40. Old, discarded plaster casts, like the ones used to keep a bone straight while it sets.
41. A woven mesh of nylon rope.
42. Old BDSM fetish gear. Some of that shit is fuckin’ sturdy, and you’re not in any position to be picky.
43. A Halloween costume.
44. Old bullet casings, strapped together in rows.
45. Video game cartridges, pinned together.
46. A trash can.
47. Hair from humans or horses, woven into thick sheets.
48. The skins of old deflated sports balls, like basketballs and footballs.
49. A satellite dish.
50. Soda can tabs. That’s what the armor worn by the woman in the image above is made from.
51. Twigs, strapped into rows.
52. Three ring binders.
53. Tin cans.
54. A hollowed out part of a taxidermied animal.
55. LEGO bricks. Particularly some of the large flat plates.
56. The boards from board games.
57. Trading cards of various types, from baseball to magic the gathering.
58. Nerf.
59. Stuffed animals.
60. Plastic plants, such as fake ferns.
61. Computer parts, like circuit boards, keyboards, chassis, and CRT monitor housings.
62. Food containers from the world before. Stuff like cereal boxes, or chip bags, layered together.
63. Rulers and yard sticks, held together with pins.
64. Window blinds.
65. Clothes hangars, interlocked with each other.
66. Silicone sex toys: dildos, butt plugs, vibrators…
67. D&D 3rd edition splat books.
68. Clip boards.
69. The backboard from a basketball hoop.
70. Cardboard boxes.
71. Cleaning gear: rubber gloves, dustpans, or the heads from brooms and mops.
72. A piece of some kind of experimental body armor from the pre-apocalypse. It looks like it was made by a doomsday prepper with more money than sense.
73. Broken bits off of plastic shopping carts.
74. One of those layered cardboard scratchers they make for cats.
75. Bicycle parts, like the wheels, handlebars, or chain.
76. Wine cork lamellar.
77. Library card lamellar. (Also “club cards” from big box stores, or credit cards).
78. Safety glass, probably pulled out of a door from a school.
79. Matchbox cars.
80. An old folding table.
81. Giant letters that used to form the name of some long-forgotten business.
82. Mail made from fidget spinners.
83. Smartphone cases.
84. Old metal tonka toys.
85. Roofing shingles.
86. Horse shoes.
87. Hula hoops and jump ropes.
88. Discarded plastic bottles.
89. Circular saw blades.
90. Dozens and dozens of “unbreakable” combs.
91. Cheap costume jewelry: rings and bracelets interlocked into mail, draped bundles of necklace chains, and so on.
92. Cardboard tubes, like the ones from toilet paper, paper towels, and wrapping paper.
93. Vinyl house siding.
94. Steel medical brace.
95. Shovel heads.
96. Fan blades
97. Cutting boards.
98. Dumb, cheap, fantasy weapons. They’re so ridiculous that nobody can actually use them as weapons, so they’re trying to put them to use as armor.
99. A dartboard.
100. Something crazy valuable that the “armor smith” apparently didn’t realize was valuable. Like a working gameboy, a floppy disk with secret information on it, or a bit of wood with a treasure map singed into it.

This d100 table was selected by my generous Patrons. If you’d like a chance to decide what d100 tables I’ll work on next, drop a dollar into my Patreon!

So, what makes these mooks more than just mooks?

1. Killer Paul – A psychopathic serial killer, who finds this way of life a useful in providing for his needs. Always likes to take a few alive if he can, so he can ‘play’ with them. Whenever someone joins his band, Killer Paul cuts deep into his own chest, and forces the initiate to ‘suckle at the devil’s teat.’ KP believes this makes his followers “like him.” And, indeed, everyone makes a show of reveling in murder and torture, though most do so out of fear, rather than a sincere bloodlust.
2. Yeolar the Leveler – Believes the current system of government is not only corrupt, but fundamentally flawed. Only a society that guarantees equal access to wealth is justified. Since no such society exists, Yeolar has determined to make one. Within her band, loot is distributed evenly, and decisions are made communally. They prefer to kill the wealthy and powerful, since such people will never willingly agree to participate in a leveled society. But sometimes, work is work, and they’ll do what they have to.
3. Faenrik the Slayer – Only a handful of Faenrik’s closes confidants know that he is actually Sir Fulton, an honorable knight of the realm. He leads a double life, disguising himself in a battered suit of plate armor whenever he’s with his band of ne’er do wells. If this fact were discovered, it would be a great scandal.
4. Gabriel Tellison – Unbeknownst to anyone, the much feared Tellison gang is led by an angel, who has been sent by God to test our faith.
   
5. Penelope Croust – Once, she was a paladin. But she was too fond of being paid for her good deeds, always expecting a reward when she saved someone. Eventually her avarice caused her to fall, and lose her powers. Rather than seek redemption, she’s embraced a life of using her fighting prowess to earn as much gold as she can.
6. Edward Von Kleght – Formerly head of a prominent carpenter’s guild. A few years back, the crown undertook a massive public works project, which required nearly all the carpenters in the guild. Once the project was done, the crown decided the work was too expensive, and cut costs by cheating many of their laborers out of fair wages. The carpenters were in a frenzy of rage, and Von Kleght led them out to prey upon the kingdom that had cheated them. 
7. General Tusurio – After months upon months of late and missing pay, Tusurio and a group of other soldiers determined they’d had enough, and could make better money on their own terms. The highest rank Tusurio ever legitimately achieved was sergeant, but he and his men decided promotions for themselves were in order after they deserted the army.
   
8. Bovilare Ostencluck – Ostensibly, a sickly old woman with an uncanny knack for knowing when and where to strike to maximize profits. She always stays behind a curtain, and no one in her band has seen her face. She maintains this anonymity because she’s actually a highly intelligent chicken who just doesn’t want to lay eggs or get eaten. She usually stays at the groups hideout, but is sometimes carried around in her curtained litter.
9. Benji Poppinjay – Formerly a rat catcher, who unsettled his fellows with his strange passion for the work. He even went so far as to invent a rat goddess, which he began to worship in weird ceremonies, until he was run out of town. He learned to sustain himself by adapting the principles of rat trapping to trap humans, and a small following began to take shape around him. 
10. Kinlee Wouldabeen – A prophesied child of destiny, meant to overthrow evil and establish an era of peace. As it turns out, however, overthrowing evil is hard. Kinlee just sorta stopped trying at some point, and turned to the much simpler life of doing whatever was needed to make a few coins. 
11. Hugo Urasha – is not actually Hugo Urasha. The real Hugo died quietly in his tent, when a doppleganger sucked out his innards through his mouth. The thing now presenting itself as the fierce leader of a notorious band  is not human at all. Some of the men have noticed the sudden shift in their leader’s behavior. They seem to be consistently doing very similar work, against very similar targets. But Hugo has always led them right before, and they’re still bringing in plenty of booty, so no one questions it.
12. Pogo the Clown – Pogo began his life in the circus, where he had some moderate success as a clown. He always made a little money as a thug on the side. By the time anyone came looking for him, the circus would have moved on, and he’d be safe. Eventually his fellows got fed up with the bad reputation he was giving them, and kicked him out. Now Pogo is a thug full time, still wearing his clown costume and makeup for some unfathomable reason.
13. Murza Zill – A lesbian who was never very good at disguising her preferences. Rather than force herself to endure the dicks of the conservative culture she was born into, Murza chose to strike out on her own and see what sort of living she could make. A band has slowly formed around her. Some are drawn to her success, while others are drawn to the idea of living in a group where they can safely be gay.
14. Three Dick Jack – A bunch of people follow him because he’s got three dicks and that’s awesome.
15. Father Sedgwick – Hoping to save souls, Father Sedgewick started traveling with the band to preach, and to hear confessions. He hoped to slowly show these people the error of their ways, but the opposite ended up happening. One compromise led to another, and to another, and now Father Sedgwick leads the band himself.
16. Renuar Estavon – Poetry without struggle is trash. At least, that’s what Renuar believes. Believing his own work had begun to suffer from his too-comfortable, too-safe, too-law-abiding lifestyle, Renuar decided to leave it all behind to seek a life of adventure and hardship. Something that would inform his poetry, and allow him to reach greater artistic heights.
17. Ms. S.C. Rowe – She’s not really sure how it happened, but one day she just…came to life. There, up on a post in the middle of a field, with memories of being an unliving facsimile whose only purpose was to scare off birds. Then bam, she was alive, she climbed down off her post, and ran off into the woods to figure out what the heck was going on. She’s still just a bundle of hay wrapped up in clothes, and yet she thinks and feels all on her own. She’s terrified people will find out what she is and destroy her, so she works on the edge of society, with just her band for company.
18. Yasui Leiko – A warrior from a far off land, armed with strange weapons, and wearing strange armors. When she was exiled from her home, she set out to wander, going further than almost any of her people had ever gone before. She does not know any local language, but instead communicates with her band through her tone and gestures.
19. Willie Jopho – Even when he was a young boy, Willie knew he wanted to live this life. He looked up to the men and women who lived by their own law, making money by their strength and ferocity, and he scorned the weakness of their victims. He ran off to join a band when he was a teenager, where he learned the trade, before breaking off to found his own group.
20. Lanky Jim Wheeler – A former pirate whose ship sank during a storm. Was able to lead his crew to safety, but couldn’t find a new ship for them. Until they can find a good one to steal, they’re sticking to “land-piracy.”



21. Niklaus Trapp – A con man, working both sides of the law. He moves to a new area, establishes a band of ruffians, skillfully leads them to becoming wanted men, then absconds with the booty and turns his own men in to the law for the reward money. 
22. Big Nero – A gentle giant of a man who doesn’t realize what he’s doing. He thinks he’s dreaming, living out fantasies of adventure. His own men encourage this fantasy, as they’ve never had so much success as they’ve had under Big Nero. A man completely unafraid, because he doesn’t think the danger is real.
23. Hugh Mann – On the planet Dasdukk, gold is a bountiful resource. The peoples who live there discovered a way to use it as a source of fuel, and now they travel the stars in great ships powered by gold. Recently, a collision with a meteor destroyed an auxiliary fuel tank on one of their ships, which was forced to make an emergency landing on Earth. Imagine their horror when they discovered how rare gold was on this disgusting little rock in space. They had just enough fuel left to create a single human suit, which they take turns wearing to go out and lead a group of humans in acquiring gold by any means necessary.
24. Rockington – A creature of the deep sub-earth, who has only recently discovered that the worms of the surface world have been digging beneath their domain, plundering the natural wonders of the subterranean. This infuriates Rockington, who now scourges the surface with a band of treasonous humans. They may take all they like of the wine, the food, the silks, the papered moneys, etcetera. But all precious metals and stones must be returned to their rightful place beneath the earth.
25. Jordanna Wheeler – Wishes are tricky things. When Jordanna had the opportunity to make her innermost desires a reality, she wished to be the most desirable woman in the land, living a life of excitement. The very next instant she found herself in a camp, surrounded by bloodthirsty thugs who regarded her as their leader. She tried to flee home, only to discover a flyer, with her own face sketched on it, naming her the most wanted woman in the land, with a massive bounty for her capture, dead or alive.
26. Shimmercoat – A young woman who wears a suit of wolf skins, sewn together. She’s convinced that her true father was a wolf, and that her mother only hid it from her out of shame. Most folks think she’s crazy, but her obsessive striving to be as swift and fierce as “her wolf ancestors,” has led her to becoming a surprisingly effective fighter.
27. Georgina Louverture – A few months, maybe a year or two. That’s how long a person survives after the black polyps start to appear on their neck. With nothing left to lose, Georgina figured she’d throw herself into danger, to make as much money for her family as she could before she died. That was three years ago. The polyps now cover her neck entirely, and have begun to spread down across her chest. There are some days she can’t do anything other than lie in bed and leak a grey bile. Yet, she isn’t dead, so she keeps going, sending every coin she takes back home.
28. Simone Ninel – Teaching is a tough job, particularly if you insist on being honest about it. After being dismissed by a few noble patrons for teaching their children the “wrong” facts, Simone found it impossible to find any work.Pushed to the edge of society, she turned to violence to make ends meet. The band which has formed around her is the best educated group of thugs you’ll ever meet. 
29. Horace – When Horace’ mother laid her eggs in the corpse of a wizard, she thought nothing of it. She thought very little at all, in fact, because she was a turtle. When the homunculic amalgam of turtle and infant was found, it was taken in by an elderly warrior; an exile from a far off land who raised the turtle-child in the warrior traditions of his home. He managed to keep Horace’ existence secret for years, until some people from the nearby village spotted the child, believing him to be a demon. They burned the house, killed Horace’ mentor, and Horace himself only barely escaped into the night. Now an adolescent, Horace uses the skills his mentor gave him to survive, and a small band of ruffians has formed around him.
30. The Black Tree – The true name of this creature is a very particular sound that can be produced by rustling leaves. No symbols exist in human language to correlate to that sound, as no human is capable of approximating it, so “The Black Tree” will have to suffice. Grown in soil fertilized by the blood of god, the Black Tree grows man-things like fruit in its branches. Each year, 10-30 new men are grown to replace those who have died. All fruit of the Black Tree obey its will: take what men value, sow discord among them.
31. Wadduda – An exceptionally intelligent horse, with a dead, taxidermied human on its back. Wadduda has become a skilled ventriloquist and puppeteer. She convincingly gesticulates with the ‘man’ on her back, so that no one realizes it’s actually the horse doing the talking, the fighting, and the leading.
32. Grey DeLisle – A young woman with an almost erotic fascination with fire. It plays some creative role in almost every plan she employs, as well as a terrifying role in her philosophy of enforcing discipline among her band.
33. Austera Wuster – A complete narcissist, convinced of her own infallibility. Austera is a bumbling moron, but her band of thugs props up her ego, because the more credit she gets for their misdeeds, the less likely any of them are to be caught or punished.
34. Davberton Jonesmith – ‘Davberton,’ of course, is not a real name. It’s the kind of name someone comes up with when someone asks them what their name is, and they can’t tell the truth, so they play out a mid-’90s sitcom joke. I mean, it’s not like you can just tell people that you’re a dead person wearing the skins of the living as a disguise. Not that Davberton is dead…he’s totally alive. Totally.
35. Marcia Gallika – A harsh woman who wears a cat-o-nine-tails at her side. She claims it is the same one which tore at the flesh of Christ before the crucifixion, and plays up her identity as a gleeful scourge of all that is good and wholesome.
36. Gurbo Zalamticus – Lost a hand some years ago, and decided to have a short sword mounted on the stump. He’s a competent leader, but by no means an exceptional one. People tend to overestimate him because of his sword-hand. To his credit, he does realize this.
37. Taukum – A 12 year old girl whose parents were terrible people. So, she killed them, and left their bodies in the street before leaving her hometown forever. She’s a muscular child, with a brutal temperament.
38. Ereet Furn: A cultist devoted to the Blue Lady, who will reduce the world to a frozen wasteland upon her coming. Ereet seeks to bring about the dawn of her era through leading this band. Only a few of Ereet’s followers know that her true purpose is not to acquire wealthy, but to foster chaos.
    
39. Olso Na – Not a bad guy, really. He’s easygoing, charming, and never cheats in games of chance. But it’s a tough world, and there aren’t a lot of ways for a guy who likes to make his own way to get by. So sometimes you gotta get a little rough to make your money, that’s just the way the world turns. 
40. Lil’ Bippie –An 8 year old prodigy who was ready to be an adult by the time he was 5. Since his parents insisted on treating him like a child, and since no one was willing to hire a child, he set out to make his own way in the world. Obviously he can’t quite stand up to an adult physically, but Lil’ Bippie is a clever guy, who knows how to set up an ambush, and he’s got enough adults on his payroll to make those ambushes pack a punch. He’s also got a strange way of getting other children to “snap out of” their own childishness, which many people find deeply unsettling.



41. Alicia Poverdagh – Dying is never really fair. Why should one person starve to death, while others have food rotting in their stores because they can’t host feasts quickly enough to use it all? Alicia may have tolerated that while she was alive, for some reason, but now that she’s a ghost, beyond the realm of consequences, she’d like to enact judgement upon those who have so much, while she had so little. She doesn’t “Lead” her band, so much as she comes to them in dreams, whispers in their ears, and occasionally appears to terrify their victims.
42. Nadochk: A street performer, who isn’t afraid to engage in a little more dangerous work if the price is right. She and her band prefer to make their money via their antics if possible, but when money is tight they know which end of the sword to hold.
43. Tzim Aulur: A splinter of divinity, living the first of its infinite lives. As far as it can tell, life is a game, and everyone else is just playing it too cautiously. Tzim does not understand death, believing that anyone who dies is simply ‘out of the game’ until the next round.
44. Wife: A former daughter of nobility, who always resented her limited role. On the day of her wedding, she ran off, managed to escape capture, and hide aboard a ship destined for lands beyond her parent’s control. Even still, she has needed to live on the outskirts of society, lest her name make it back home, where surely someone would be sent to collect her. She still wears her bridal gown, the only clothes she had on her back when she ran. It’s now been cut into a more functional garment, but is still recognizable. Since she doesn’t want to give out her name, she’s been only too happy to adopt the nickname “Wife” her followers gave her.
45. Sullas Oulor: As a child, Sullas made a little wish of no consequence. All that matters is that a fairy offered to grant her wish in exchange for some future favor, which she agreed to. A lifetime later, when Sullas had a husband and children, and had forgotten all about her wish, the fairy came again, and demanded a great sum of money from her. Not because it wanted the money, but because it wanted to see if she could get it. She had one year to get the job done, so Sullas frantically set to work. Faeries will do a lot worse than break your legs if you fail to pay your debts.
46. Spider Dave: Spider Dave lost an eye years ago, and lets his pet tarantula live in the socket.
47. Finster Mirman: For crimes that are unspeakable in any language spoken through empty air, Finster was banished from the realms of the sea king. It was thought that he would die of exposure on the shores, but Finster refused to go out so easily. He dragged himself into the woods, where he found a pond. There he made his plan. It wasn’t hard to find humans willing to do his bidding, and through them he constructed a set of land-legs, and a glass helmet of seawater to sustain him.
48. Rope Burn Tim: A thief and a killer who was tried, and set to be hanged. Then he was hanged, and his neck didn’t snap. For a good minute he struggled at the end of the rope, before the rope broke, and he fell safely to the ground. By law, this was seen as an act of god, and Tim was released. He immediately put together a new gang, and spent awhile terrorizing the community that had tried to kill him. His voice is still hoarse, and his neck still bears the scar. He never took the rope off from around his neck, preferring to wear it as a reminder to his men and to his enemies that he can’t be killed.
49. Ginny Bo: An older man, well into his twilight years. To look at him, you’d think he was too frail to do the things he’s done. But as he reaches the end of his life, he’s come to believe that all his quiet years of responsibility were a waste. He’s determined to fill his final days with as many adventurous thrills as he can.
50. Suzera the Slasher, and her Seven Sisters: A group of peasant women who were frustrated by the choice between being a wife and…well, nothing else. Most of them were content just to grouse about it to one another, but Suzera’s the one who got the idea that the group should kill some of the wealthier men in the village, take their money, and abscond out into the wilderness. The band has been wandering around ever since, taking what they need, and killing for money. 
51. Lord Reggie Windsley the VII: AKA “The Blackguard of Havensforth” Spoiled son of the local lord, Reggie took on the persona of The Blackguard a few years back, and began terrorizing his own lands as a kind of prank. Hundreds of his own subjects have had their lives destroyed, or even been killed, for this childish lark, and Reggie doesn’t have an iota of remorse. 
52. Bossen Grust: A servant to Folar Est, lord of the lands just to the south of here. Folar sent Bossen north, to weaken his rival’s lands through brigandage. Bossen has taken a real liking to the life, drawing money both through his thievery, and through requests for support back to lord Folar. He’s decided to stick with this life as long as he can, then probably abandon Folar’s service, once the old fool gets wise.
53. Gin Nolk: A consummate warrior, with complete disdain for any way of life that is not combat-based. She enjoys pillaging farmers, and believes that they deserve it because they are stupid. If they were smart, they’d be warriors. 
54. Purbo the Brutal: Purbo is lean, and muscular, and completely hairless. His sickly pale skin is covered head-to-toe in tattoos. He walks around naked, save for a belt with his weapons and coin purse hanging form it.
55. Ferdi Black: Rides on the back of a bear. No one is quite sure how she managed to train a bear to serve as a mount, but it does.
56. Rattenik: A beefy woman who runs an ostensibly respectable group of caravan guards for hire. Anytime business gets too slow, though, she personally sees to it that every merchant who comes within a 10′ mile radius of town is robbed.
57. Zurbo the Annihilator: Got his start as a circus performer, who wore colorful masks, and wrestled other performers for the amusement of the crowd. But when you’re as good as Zurbo is, why should you be content with the pennies people pay to see your show? Why not just pin them down and take all their money?
58. Benito Garveson: Left home 6 years ago to do his mandatory stint in the army. Only made it about halfway there before he lost his nerve. The army is meatgrinder. It sends men to far off lands to get chopped up and die on some forsaken battlefield for no real reason. At some point, Benito just wandered off the road, hoping to lose himself in the woods. He found a cave filled with a trapper’s supplies, and lived off those long enough to get the idea that if he had to be a man of violence, at least he could stick close to home.
59. Father Routney: Supposedly a priest, disgusted with the godlessness of the world, and “extracting God’s tithe by force.” No word yet from the church on whether Father Routney is an ordained priest, or just a brigand with a collar.
60. Suzie “Princess” Dulden: A young woman who is shockingly strong, given her waifish appearance. She frequently lures her victims into traps, by putting on a fancy gown, and pretending to be a damsel in distress.



61. Robolo: As a younger woman, Robolo did something which she refuses to discuss with anyone. Whatever it was, though, would have brought unbearable shame upon her family. To spare them that, she faked her own death, and changed her name. She turned to banditry and mercenary work to stay off the grid, so no one would ever discover the terrible truth. 
62. Sir Tergio Gault: A decade or so back, a coalition of nobles banded together to revolt against their king. The nobles lost, and were sentenced to death as traitors. Only Sir Tergio Gault managed to escape capture. But with all his lands seized, and a bounty on his head, there’s no work left to him but the life of an outlaw.
    
63. Nunak: A massive, muscle-bound woman from the frozen lands of the north. She lives by no laws, and travels the world seeking adventure. Today, she is a mercenary, tomorrow a bandit, the day after a robber of tombs, and always, she is a conqueror.
64. Kessliger: A clever Kobold, who does his work via traps rather than direct confrontation.
65. David: A man obsessed with biblical heroes, to the point of renaming himself after his favorite. He has a fetishistic love of the sling as a weapon, and will often launch himself into lengthy monologues about its versatility and elegance. He’s more than a little unhinged.
66. Hozeron Crous: Once caught a nymph by her toe, and was granted a wish to release her. As a result, anyone working for Hozeron is completely invulnerable to harm. Due to some nymphish trickery, Hozeron herself has no special protection. However, her followers are well aware of this, and will happily leap in front of arrows to protect their leader. After all, the arrow can’t hurt them.
67. Lucana The Hungry: A woman who ritualistically cannibalizes one of her victims after each job. It’s a purely performative thing, she derives no great pleasure from it, but it makes people respect her, and she likes that.
68. Tall Sue: ‘Taint got no legs. She rides around on a horse, with a special saddle to help her stay upright and in control.
69. Bog Boy Jeffy: He’s swamp folk, and his pappy was swamp folk, and his brothers and sisters is swamp folk too. Their home is the deep, fetid places where they will never be found, and where anyone who searches for them will likely die of horrible disease.
70. Rinny Eyeling: A small woman with an obsessive love of cats. There are more cats in her band than there are people, but despite her compulsive behavior, her followers stick with her because she’s undeniably effective. Outsiders think the cats bring her luck. People who have been with the band for awhile know the real truth: the cats obey her commands.
71. Zerdia Gabblestan: A young woman, deformed from birth by bulging protrusions of bone, which give her a “lumpy” appearance. They also make her look fearsome, and serve as a kind of natural armor, so that she’s very difficult to harm. She probably won’t live past 40, but she’s intent on using what time she has to take as much wealth for herself as she can.
72. Lilanio Prussage: Disgusted by the evils of society, and unable to force change through any positive action she ever attempted, Lilanio determined that the only way to make things better was to dedicate her life to making things so much worse that people would be forced to rise up in revolt and demand better lives for themselves.
73. Bucky The Drunk: A lucky drunk who is in way over his head.
74. Pustaso Vega: For some fool reason, Pustaso got it into his head that Angelita would love him if only he could prove his boldness. For years now, he’s been charging headlong into danger, and by some mix of charm, luck, and talent, he keeps managing to get out again. In his mind, news of his deeds makes its way back to Angelita, and she’s back home just waiting for him to come and marry her. In reality, she hasn’t heard of, or thought about him in years, and doesn’t really care.
75. Skello: A very smart skeleton, who wants to free other skeletons from their meat prisons, and make a ton of money doing it. He’s willing to work with meat-jailers to get the job done, if need be.
76. Higgins: A prim and proper butler to an established and lordly family during the day. A heartless, merciless killer whenever nobody is looking. He has served his noble patrons so long and so faithfully, that he is often trusted with jobs that allow him to work unmolested for weeks or months at a time. 
77. Crazy Bob Futureman: It’s nearly impossible to take Crazy Bob seriously. He’s a distractable babbler who seems almost incapable of listening to a person for more than 30 seconds before latching on to some random thing they’ve said, and using it as a springboard into his own mad ravings. Crazy Bob is also a skilled diviner, who knows the truth and falsehood of things people say, can speak with plants and animals, locate people and objects at will, and even occasionally see the future. He also knows how to be a violent motherfucker when he needs to be.
78. Claudio A man who suffers from moderate physical and mental disabilities, which made him the object of derision within his small town. From early childhood, other children were encouraged to treat him like a monster, and the abuse persisted into his adult life. But despite a slowness of speech and a difficulty with reading and writing, Claudio is not an idiot. When it comes to planning and executing acts of theft and violence, he’s actually quiet skilled.
79. Brandi Marlo A short, athletic, happy-go-lucky young woman who comes from a completely different world. One much more similar to our own world in the year 1985. There are no dragons or magic or boobytrapped dungeons in her world, and she finds what we do a great deal more entertaining. Particularly because anything from our world seems to have a difficult time harming or killing her. She’s a massed a band of followers, and is generally willing to do whatever people will give her money for. She has no moral qualms about hurting us, because she’s not actually convinced that we’re entirely real.
80. Simple Bartholomew: A jaundiced young man who probably doesn’t have very long to live, though no one has ever been able to figure out quite why. His anger at the inevitable shortness of his own life has led him to become apathetic to the suffering and deaths of others. Everything he does is one big joke to him, and he will typically stage jobs to deliver some sort of existentialist punchline.



81. Gridin: Though in every way, Gridin acts like a simple brigand out to make as much money as he can, he is actually a devout priest of Kurznak the Chaos God. Gridin’s apparent greed is actually religious devotion, as he attempts to sow as much chaos into the world as he can. All the money he makes personally is donated to the church, to further spread chaos throughout the world.
82. Ostroggala: Like everyone who lived in her area, when Ostroggala was 15, she visited the local oracle to learn something about her future. For most folks, it was some cryptic nonsense that only made sense after the fact. For Ostroggala, for the first time anyone could remember, it was straightforward: “You will die peacefully in your bed.” So, with the absolute assurance that she would never die a violent death, Ostroggala set out on a life of mercenary adventurism, and banditry.
83. Dekesh Saum: An escapee from a wealthy merchant’s harem, who led a number of his fellow consorts to freedom. They faced too much prejudice in the outside world to lead any kind of normal life, and so settled on survival by violence.
84. Wayne Kayle: A vigilante with a warped sense of justice, who believes the poor are only poor because they’re not smart, or good enough to be rich. She punishes the poor for this with her own brand of being ‘smart.’ As in, she takes your shit, and aren’t you a dummy for not being able to stop her?
85. Pumpanius Drex: Pumpanius and her band don’t really want to live this life. They’d much rather settle down, build some houses, plant some crops, and raise some families. But unless they want to try and live in some of the awful towns in the area (they super don’t), then they’re going to need to settle some new land. And unless they want to go on a years-long, perilous trek across land (they don’t), they’re going to need a ship that can sail them to an empty plot where they can settle. And ships cost money, so they’re going to steal and murder until they’ve got enough. The people around here are assholes anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.
86. Brettier Sulva: An escaped slave, determined to die rather than go back into servitude. During her escape, she killed several of her “owners,” and as a result there’s a massive bounty for her capture, dead or alive.
87. An: A woman who’s in way over her head. About a year ago, she was in a tight spot, and used some sleight-of-hand magic to convince some tough guys she was a powerful wizard. One thing led to another, and now she’s leading a band of those tough guys, using smoke and mirrors to keep up appearances. She’s enjoying all the money and respect, but she knows it can’t last, and is a little worried about how she’s going to extricate herself from this mess.
88. Teguska Dane: A proud old military man, tired of his soft, wastrel grandchildren. Society as a whole has gone soft, as far as he’s concerned, so he’s going to spend the last few precious years of his life living like the old days. Sleeping in muck, and killing men for his pay.
89. Vera Vateli: A devout, suicidal catholic. She wants to die, but believes wholeheartedly that she will go to hell if she kills herself. Instead, she’s taken up the most dangerous life she could imagine, and hopefully she’ll get killed along the way. Although, much to her frustration, it hasn’t happened yet. Of course, she always pursues targets which she deems somehow sinful, so she can tell herself she’s acting as an instrument of god’s will, rather than just a murderer.
90. Anthony Caldwell: A doe eyed, green horned, bushy tailed farm boy who has no business being out here doing this nonsense. But as it happens, he’s either got a phenomenal natural talent for it, or he’s just lucky as heck.
91. Prue Jirard: A puppet, brought to life as an ironic consequence of someone’s poorly considered wish. Feels as though she has no place within society. She puts on a show of being angry and superior, but really she just wants to be loved. 
92. Timothy Brentwood: Big Jon Jeffy, a notorious outlaw, disappeared without a trace. This was a problem for the local elites, who had spent years covering up their own inadequacies by shifting the people’s focus onto their relentless hunt for Big Jon. Hoping to win some popularity with the mob, they hired Timothy Brentwood, an actor who bore a striking resemblance to Big Jon, to play the role during a mock trial. The plan was that he’d be found guilty, sentenced to a life of hard toil in the silver mines, then quietly released once no one was looking for him any longer. Unfortunately, the plan went awry when Big Jon’s old gang busted Timothy Brentwood out of prison. They think they’ve got Big Jon back, and Timothy is just trying to find out how he can get out of this crazy mess alive.
93. Jimmy Silver: A jolly fat man who uses the most creative profanity you’ve ever heard. Frequently disguises himself as a beggar so he can bum around towns, listening for information about any juicy scores that might be worth his time.
94. Kylie Kallgren: A lumberjane with a foul temper. One day, whilst chopping down a tree, a group of wealthy merchants walked by and treated her the way wealthy assholes tend to treat lumber-folk. So she chopped em’ up, threw the bits in the river, and took their stuff. Then she realized that a woman who knows how to swing an axe could make a lot more money killin’ folk than they could choppin’ trees.
95. Elias Lindsey: A heretical nun, who had a dream that Jesus was a many-tentacled sea creature wearing a man-suit full of water. She’s spread her foul belief to a whole congregation of followers. The Church wants the whole lot of them executed, so they are forced to kill and steal to survive. It’s alright though, because Squid Jesus says the 6th commandment was a typo.
96. Leisle Mondego: Commander of a local garrison of soldiers. Those soldiers who were forcibly enlisted as punishment for some crime are inducted into her band. If they refuse, they’re executed for ‘desertion.’) She always makes sure to allocate the rest of her forces so nobody is near enough to catch her or her band while they’re in the act.
97. Daven Schumaker: A mystic who relies on tarot cards to decide when and where to lead his band.
98. Viktor Hassendorf: A cyberpunk hacker who made some mistakes while attempting to hack a time machine. He got trapped in the past, where none of his technological skills are of any use to him at all. All he’s got is a few combat augmentations, and a healthy disrespect for the integrity of the timeline.
99. Nathan Weeks: A human with a particular form of dwarfism that not only prevents them from growing taller, but also prevents them from physically maturing in other ways. To whit, despite being 38, Nathan doesn’t look a day older than 11.
100. Daisy Mills: A woman with multiple personality disorder. Roll on this table several times to determine what her personalities are.