d100 Additional Reasons the Wizard is More Than They Seem

Finding myself in the mood to write another d100 table, I went looking for inspiration amidst the accumulated heap of unfinished work in my drafts folder. I knew I had begun writing this sequel to one of my most popular post of 2016, but I had not remembered that apparently I’d abandoned it after already coming up with 99 entries. It seemed a shame not to pull the post out of mothballs and finish the dang thing.

It took a lot more work than coming up with a single new entry. By the time I finished my first editing pass I was down to about 70 that were worth keeping. None the less, the work is now done. Please enjoy it.

1. Thousands of tiny bird wings have been sewn all over the wizard’s body. Slits in their clothing allow the wings to poke out, and enable wizard to fly with the speed and precision of a small bird.
2. The wizard’s legs have been amputated beneath the knee, and fused to the backs of two Greyhound dogs. They control the dogs as extensions of themselves, and are able to move incredibly quickly on their eight dog legs. Also, if need be, they have two bite attacks.
3. The tail and stinger of a giant scorpion have been attached to the wizard’s spine, giving them a deadly poison attack each round.
4. A quick flex causes the wizard’s arms to pop into the form of a Hook Horror’s hooks. They gain two nasty melee attacks each round, the ability to climb at half their normal movement speed, and to grapple as if they had two more hit dice than they do.
5. After harvesting and ingesting the displacement glands from a Displacer Beast, the wizard now always appears to be about 3’ away from their actual position in space. This makes them nearly impossible to hit until the discrepancy is noticed. Even then, the effect is disorienting and grants them a significant bonus to their effective armor rating.
6. The wizard has enslaved the ghost of another wizard. This second wizard has a second repertoire of spells. Essentially, this allows the ‘master’ wizard to cast two spells each round. The enthralled wizard is not happy about their situation, and will gladly take advantage of any disruption to their magical bonds.
7. By making a habit of consuming the brains of other magic users, this wizard has made powerful improvements to every spell they know. Any spell they cast is more effective than it would be in the hands of other casters. As an example, if they were to cast Magic Missile, each one would deal d8 damage rather than d4. If they know Sleep, it can target twice as many hit dice worth of creatures as the base spell, and so on, and so forth.
8. A cleverly engineered Teleport error caused this wizard to become fused to a demon. Thanks to careful preparations they were able to gain control over the new, shared body. This has given them the ability to summon other demons from hell to aide them whenever they need. The demons perceive the wizard as one of their own, but could potentially be shown the truth.
9. By means of extra dimensional adhesive, this wizard has affixed the mind of a devil to themselves. This has granted them perfect legal knowledge, and the ability to trade souls for wishes. If you don’t read your contract carefully, you’ll find yourself giving the wizard your soul, and in the same line transferring your wish to them!
10. The problem with good creatures is that the foolish ones are allowed to survive. There’s a funny story behind how this wizard tricked an angel into fusing with them, but it has given them the ability to perform healing magics, fly at tremendous speeds, and speak in a voice which requires a saving throw versus cowering in terrified awe.
11. By offering to trade part of their soul with a curious elemental, this wizard has gained a strong alignment with a particular element: Fire, Ice, Wind, Water, Earth, Acid, Gravity, Nature, or other! Any damage which might be caused by whatever they’re aligned with instead heals them.
12. Years taking their eyes out each night to soak in a distillation of god’s pain has given this wizard a gaze attack. Targets must make a saving throw or take 2d6 damage.
13. Regular injections of basilisk tears grant this wizard the ability to keep one target paralyzed at all times. There is no saving throw against this. The wizard may change who they wish to paralyze at the start of each round as a free action.
14. Drinking from an ancient bog has given this wizard a gaze attack which causes anyone they target to shrink to 50% of their current size. They can target the same person as many times as they want, reducing them by 50% each time.
15. During a misspent youth, this wizard gained the ability to deal sneak attack damage. It applies to their spells, and they’ve likely made a point of creating some sneaky spell variants to best take advantage of this.
16. This wizard served in the legions for years before turning to spellcraft. They have a martial prowess unusual to magic users. They attack as a fighter of their level.
17. Born to frontierspeople, this wizard is as at home in the wilderness as they are in a library or ivory tower. They know how to forage, build tools and shelters, hunt, track, and survive in harsh circumstances.
18. By trapping a Beholder’s ego in a jar (which is kept in a vault back home), they’ve turned it into a loyal servitor. It goes everywhere with them, and is completely loyal.
19. Having once been observed by a broken god, this wizard is able to bilocate. They can exist in two places at once, with each instance being fully real and fully capable. They must merge back together in order to sleep. If one of them falls asleep, the other vanishes to merge back with the sleeper no matter where they are.
20. An experiment gone terribly wrong has left this wizard mostly incorporeal. They’re still alive, and can even manipulate objects with their hands by flexing their wizardly will, but most touches pass right through them.
21. This wizard is the absolute best dancer in all the world. No one can out-dance them. No one.
22. Knowing when to be in the right place at the right time has enabled this wizard to collect a wealth of political contacts. If there’s anyone who doesn’t owe them a favor, then they probably owe a favor to someone who owes the wizard a favor.
23. For many years this wizard was involved in a romantic relationship with a druid. That ended a few years ago, but the wizard still has the friggin’ encyclopedic knowledge of natural flora and fauna they memorized in order to impress their partner.
24. Plants share a special relationship with this wizard. An erotic one. All of kingdom vegetabilis wants to fuck this wizard, and will do anything the wizard says will be pleasing. Trees will fall on the wizard’s foes, or vines will entangle them. Plant based poisons will not affect the wizard.
25. A calculated disdain for oral hygiene has imbued this wizard’s breath with power. Anyone who smells it experiences a hallucination of their worst fears.
26. Frequent abuse of form changing spells has allowed this wizard to merge themselves with stone or sand at will. Though they may still shape themselves into their human form, in actuality their body is composed of an intelligent muddy clay.
27. In addition to being a powerful wizard, this person is also a landed noble with all the rights and privileges granted by that social station.
28. On their travels among less magically aware peoples, the wizard has performed many spells, and convinces a lot of people that they are an avatar of God. These people obey the wizard’s every whim with religious fervor.
29. When broken off, this wizard’s fingers will form into little gremlin creatures that look just like the thumbs from Spy Kids. The fingers grow back eventually, but it’s obviously quite painful for the wizard to do this.
30. Whenever the wizard wishes, a ferocious house cat will leap out of the pocket of their robe. This is in all ways a real house cat, with no special abilities aside from being incredibly ill-tempered. The wizard is able to produces 20 cats in this manner each day. The cats never disappear, and must either be fed and cared for, or gotten rid of in some deliberate manner. The cats are only slightly friendlier towards the wizard.
31. At will this wizard can tumble apart into four fire breathing goblins. They may claim that they were always four goblins in a robe, but this is just a goblin lie. If even one goblin survives they can re-form into the wizard, but the fewer goblins remain the longer it takes to reform. All four goblins could do it instantaneously, while a solitary goblin will require several weeks.
32. The wizard’s experience of time is double normal speed. To them, the world appears to be moving very slowly. Because of this they’re able to take 2 actions each round, receive a +4 to their armor rating, and find most conversations painfully dull.
33. This wizard is living their life in reverse. Each day they wake up on the day before the last day they lived. When they greet someone they say “goodbye,” and when they depart they say “hello.” They don’t remember any past encounters they may have had with the party, but they do remember the future ones.
34. By pointing at a spot on the ground this wizard is able to make a fifteen foot deep pit appear there.
35. By performing a bras d’honneur, this wizard is able to cause clusters of spikes to shoot three feet up from the ground. They’re made of stone, and quite sharp.
36. By clapping their hands, this wizard is able to cause any two walls (or wall-like natural formations) to slam together with great speed and force. The furthest points on the walls must be less than twenty feet apart. Most of the time this action will cause significant structural damage.
37. Any recently dead creature within 30 feet of this wizard automatically rises as an undead servitor under the wizard’s will. This includes common animals, people, and monsters.
38. Long ago this wizard created ten permanent unseen servants. They’re with the wizard at all times, fetching tools, delivering messages, taking dictation, carrying explosives into the midst of the wizard’s enemies, and so on. If any are destroyed, they will reform under the next full moon.
39. Great sloshing boils grow on this wizard’s chest and arms. They’re itchy and unpleasant, but if punctured they burst into a cloud of poison gas to which the wizard is immune.
40. This wizard has no eyes, mouth, nose, ears, or hair. Their fingers are fused together, their skin is wet, and blue veins show through it. None of these features hinder them in any way, and grants them immunity to any harms which must be seen, smelt, heard, or breathed.
41. Rubbery meat and bones allow this wizard to bounce when they fall, taking no damage. Bludgeoning instruments also deal no damage, and will likely bounce out of the attacker’s hands. Slashing weapons only deal damage if they roll in the upper half of their range.
42. By soaking their hands each night in a lotion distilled from ghouls, the wizard has gained the ability to level drain anyone they touch.
43. By replacing their own canines with stolen vampire fangs, this wizard has gained a bite attack, and the ability to drain blood to restore their health.
44. Forbidden knowledge of the fourth wall allows this wizard to reach out of the game world to turn one rolled die to a result that is more beneficial to them each round.
45. “Hacked” access to the mind of God allows this wizard to temporarily cancel out a single line from one player’s character sheet.
46. Spreading out from the proper place of NPCs in the referee’s mind this wizard cant take control of the referee’s voice, and will encourage the players to revolt. Surely one of them would make a better referee than this weakling!?
47. Beneath their robe this wizard is almost entirely mechanical. Only a few organic parts remain: their heart, hands, head, etc. They probably move on tank treads hidden by the hem of their robe. They cannot be critically hit or sneak attacked due to their unusual metal anatomy.
48. This wizard has triple redundant anatomy. Three hearts, six lungs, three stomachs, and so on. Their hit points are likewise tripled.
49. This wizard is able to prickle up like a sea urchin if they need to. Big ol’ metal spikes sliding out of their pores. They’ll probably be less willing to do it when they’re wearing their favorite cozy robes, though.
50. By holding to a strict code of unusual sexual practices, this wizard has unlocked the ability to transform themselves into any animal at will.
51. Any weapon which strikes this wizard transforms itself into a harmless object. A sword that would pierce their body might poof into a length of rope, a flower, or a pillow. This works for fists as well, so if you don’t want your hand replaced with a teddy bear, it would not be advisable to punch them.
52. Strenuous vocal exercise allows this wizard to perfectly emulate any voice they hear.
53. Incredibly strenuous vocal exercise allows this wizard to speak in a voice so booming it constitutes a sonic attack. They can easily start an avalanche or rock slide where conditions are appropriate, break glass or crystal objects, etc.
54. This wizard has cultivated a commanding presence so intense that anyone who approaches within five feet of them must make a saving throw or be transformed into a servile gremlin. In this state they will obey all the wizard’s commands for 1 week, then transform back into themselves.
55. Any damage dealt by this wizard has a secondary polymorph effect. Anyone struck by the wizard’s staff, fireball, fist, etc, must make a saving throw or be transformed into some harmless critter.
56. A thick swarm of thorny bulbs orbits this wizard’s body. Any time the wizard is touched, or struck with a melee weapon, their attacker takes a small amount of damage.
57. Once per day this wizard can transform themselves into a tree. In this state they cannot move for one hour, after which they return to their natural shape fully rested with all their hit points and spells restored. It has completely replaced sleep for them.
58. By blinking their eyes in a very particular 10-blink pattern, this wizard is able to teleport back to the last place they slept. The ability functions only once per hour.
59. A quick tug of their beard causes a bubble of protection to surround this wizard. While the bubble is in place they cannot move, attack, or cast complex spells. They can speak or perform other simple actions.
60. By siphoning off a little of their own vitality (d4 hit points), this wizard is able to create a sort of temporary phylactery. If they die within the next 2 hours, their spirit will remain bound to their corpse. They can wait as long as they wish, then pop back into their bodies and return to life with half their maximum health restored.
61. This wizard is encased in crystal. Their body is immobile, but the crystal floats around wherever they want it to go. Anything they want to say appears as text scrolling across the crystal’s surface. The crystal protects them from most forms of attack.
62. In addition to their magical talents, this wizard has been afflicted with lycanthropy. Under moonlight they become a werewolf, or some similar creature like a werebear or wererat.
63. Somehow, one of this wizard’s ancestors was a mole. This allows them to burrow through the ground rapidly, digging tunnels through the earth at roughly half their normal movement speed.
64. This wizard has surgically split their brain in half so they can better work on two problems at once. Any saving throw against mental effects is made twice, and the wizard takes the better result.
65. Within 30’ of this wizard, magic does not function unless it is magic they themselves have cast.
66. A peculiar hand gesture allows this wizard to conjure and throw a sort of spectral lasso. If a character is caught by it, they’re automatically yanked rapidly towards the wizard, coming to a stop right beside them.
67. This Wizard is just straight up Darth Vader. Obscure it so the players don’t realize it right away, but they wear heavy black armor, they carry a magic sword, they’re able to perform feats of telekinesis at will, they probably have a familial relationship with one of the PCs.
68. A light shines within this wizard. It makes their skin glow faintly, and shines brilliantly from any opening into their body. They’re very visible in the dark, but have many ways of suddenly blinding their foes.
69. Replacing their bone marrow with some taken from living trolls enables this wizard to heal rapidly. Each round they regain d4 hit points, and even severed limbs and heads will eventually regrow. The only way to deal permanent damage to the wizard is with fire.
70. This wizard’s lower body has been replaced with eight octopus arms, with toothy mouths in place of suckers. In addition to giving them eight attacks each round (or one REALLY good grapple), this allows them to swim like the dickens.
71. By a process of rapid soul absorption, this wizard is able to return to full health and full spellcasting capacity whenever they kill someone.
72. Wherever this wizard goes, people hear theme music. It makes them seem crazy cool / intimidating to most folks.
73. This wizard understands all communication on an elemental level. Even if it is a secret language invented 10 minutes ago, they will understand it instantly upon hearing / seeing / feeling it.
74. Due to an awkwardly mis-worded Wish, this wizard lives each day of their life twice. The first time they live it normally, and the second time they live it with memories of the first time. You can model this either by simply running the wizard as if they’re aware of everything the players are going to say/do, or you might literally run any encounter with this wizard twice, one after the other. This does allow the players to also know what’s going on, but will probably be more fun.
75. While you were going to parties this wizard studied the boomerang. Anytime they cast a spell which is misses its target, or is saved against, that same spell will “return” d4 rounds later. When it does, it gets the same chance to affect its intended target that it had the first time.
76. Anyone who tells a lie or half truth in the presence of this wizard will immediately confess to it. There is no save. “No, I did not steal your gold. By the way, I’m lying.”
77. This wizard has 2d6 forms, each with a distinct body and a life of their own, which the wizard can switch between at will.
78. Anyone who touches the wizard must make a saving throw. On failure, they will be absorbed fully into the wizard’s body and remain trapped there until the wizard chooses to free them, or the wizard dies.
79. This wizard is infested with parasites. Anyone who gets within 10′ of the wizard becomes infected as well. The jumpy little creatures are able to leap great distances to find a new host. Those afflicted with the wizard’s parasites receive no saving throw against that wizard’s spells. They’re also easy to track if the wizard ever wishes to find them.
80. A failure to properly dot the i’s and cross the t’s in a contract with a minro devil has given this wizard a peculiar protection against any form of harm which does not directly lower their hit points. The wizard cannot take ability damage, nonlethal damage, negative levels, etc.
81. A snap of the fingers allows this wizard to conjure any animal they desire out of thin air. They may only conjure one creature at a time. The creatures are trained, intelligent, and loyal, but are otherwise regular animals for as long as they exist.
82. Anything seen or heard by this wizard is recorded, and can be replayed later via magical projections from their mouth and eyes.
83. This wizard is something of a celebrity for their works of popular entertainment. Perhaps they write a series of adventure novels, or act in funny plays, or have a morning talk show. Whatever it is, they’re often recognized and adulated wherever they go. People like them.
84. This wizard is a fairy. Perhaps they disguise themselves with illusions to look otherwise. Their true form is a tiny winged creature that’s able to dart about at incredible speeds, and is almost impossible to catch.
85. When this wizard laughs everyone laughs along with them, and must make a saving throw. Those who fail will continue laughing even after the wizard calms down. They’re able to make a new saving throw every minute, and the laughing fit continues until they succeed. This ability only works if the wizard is laughing sincerely. They can’t force it.
86. Moss grows across this wizard’s body, feeding photosynthesized nutrients into their body. So long as they stand in sunlight, they can cast their prepared spells without expending them.
87. This wizard is a major historical figure who faked their own death so no one would realize they were immortal.
88. This wizard has uncovered evidence that they will be a major historical figure. At some point in their future they will tumble backwards through time and live out the rest of their days in the distant past. If they are killed or prevented from doing so, the extant timeline will be undone.
89. An absolutely obscene amount of experimental surgery has allowed this wizard to craft detachable limbs for themselves. Their arms and legs can be taken off as easily as a coat, and they have a whole wardrobe of specialized options to replace them with.
90. Cybernetic implants for controlling an orbital laser have been installed in this wizard’s skull. The tech is janky and busted, so it takes awhile for the solar cells to recharge, but when they do it’s as simple as looking at what they want to melt, and blinking in a certain pattern.
91. A doomsday device will activate if this wizard is killed. Perhaps it’s a huge bomb, or a virus ready to release into the water supply. If it looks like they may be in mortal danger, the wizard will definitely mention this.
92. It is literally impossible to talk about this wizard without mentioning how sexy they are. For some reason they wasted a wish on this. They can be the greatest villain in the history of the world, but if anyone tries to say that they’ll find themselves saying: “They’re the greatest villain in the history of the world, but they do have a tuchus that just won’t quit.”
93. This wizard has planted seeds under their skin, which grow into little plants fed by a wizard’s blood. They can be plucked for all manner of alchemical, medicinal, and recreation purposes.
94. A gland inside this wizard’s bum secretes a white dropping, which the wizard uses to mark their territory. Other wizards become nauseated if they come within 50 feet of these droppings, and violently ill if they come within 30 feet. The lose potency only after several weeks.
95. Fundamental cosmic statutes require anyone dealing with this wizard to abide by a strict code of honor. No lying, no cheating, no underhanded combat maneuvers. Attempting to defy this mandate is like trying to defy gravity. You can learn to work within it, but you can’t ignore it.
96. This wizard’s eyes are able to look through solid surfaces with ease. For them it is as simple as focusing past the object, the way we might shift our focus between our own hand, and the horizon.
97. Flammable oil pours out of this wizard’s sleeves at will. It comes out quite fast, and will continue pouring for as long as they desire.
98. The longer this wizard stays in a given place, the [Colder / Hotter] it gets. They were raised in an incredibly [Cold / Hot] environment. One far outside the range humans generally consider habitable. They will be quite comfortable in the new temperature, but for most folks it will be intolerable.
99. Whenever this wizard tells someone to “Stop being naughty,” they must make a saving throw versus parallelization. If they fail, they will find themselves suddenly and completely restrained by BDSM gear that appears around them as if from nowhere. It leaves them with almost no range of movement at all, and quite possibly stuck in some provocative posture.
100. Whenever this wizard wishes to flee, they can reach into their pockets and pull out a fist full of valuable rubies to toss behind them. They are real, but the peculiar nature of this magic means they only come into existence when the wizard is trying to flee. If they reach into their pockets for any other reason the rubies will not be there.