Session 69: The First Fully Homebrew Session | Winter

Sanctimonious Slimes Versus Expired Epicures | Played on September 4, 2021

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As the party set about equipping their wagon (and its extradimensional cellar) with everything they would need, a new fellow joined their company. A tiefling named Velxori who had been staying in the Caves of Chaos, and desired to join this adventure for mysterious reasons of her own. The party set off North on the long journey towards the village where Madeline last knew her sister Medeel was living. North of Caves of Chaos, the rolling grasslands and scattered trees to the south gradually gave way to an arid badland, which took the party about a week to travel through. On the way they were ambushed by a Plains Ritzville; a species of plump, lazy giant cat. It nearly ended Velxori’s life in its first pounce, reduing her to 0hp before the rest of the party slew it. The Plains Ritzville was skinned and butchered as best as road conditions allow, with Velxori intending to turn the hide into a garment for herself.

Eventually the party reached the edge of a dense coniferous woodland, marking the out edge of the territory claimed by the Empire of Giants. About a day’s travel into the woodland Glint noticed some subtle signs indicating that they were in bear country. Not where he was from, but distant cousins of a sort. He made excuse to divert the party about a day’s travel out of their way, met some bears, and gave them hats as gifts. Wob explained away this strange behavior by the assumption that Glint’s cousins were druids. The bears appreciated Glint’s good manners in coming to pay respects, and gave warning of a group of giants moving along a road the party would need to cross along their journey.

While walking through the woods, the party found some large yellow flowers absolutely dripping with gooey pollen, and at one point the animated suit of armor started walking behind Velxori, immitating her movements. It is unclear why they did this.

The party moved along and did eventually come to the road indicated. A massive thing for a massive folk, all laid in careful stonework. Rather than avoid encountering the giants, the party opted to plan and execute an elaborate ambush so they could claim whatever loot they were transporting.

A tree was laid out across the road, near a convenient path through the woods which the cart might be diverted down. The giants were put on guard by encounter this. Elrica then conjured a sheet of darkness to divide and confuse the giants & their beasts of burden. Plan A was to have Glint make a Mighty Yawlp to frighten the Great Elk which pulled the giant’s cart, but this failed, so Hibub—thinking fast—drank the potion which caused him to emenate an orb of stench, and ran out into the midst of the elk, who did indeed flee down that same convenient path, which Wob promptly obscured with a spell of misdirection. Elrica drew much of this misdirected attention onto herself by wrapping the shadows around her to form a great spooky beast, and calling down threats on the giants. Some were driven off in fear, but enough remained to lock much of the party in a nail-biting combat.

Meanwhile, Ecco and Velxori dropped off a tree branch onto the Giant’s cart as soon as it went offroad. Only two giants were riding it. The pair sent the animated rope to tangle their legs together (which they didn’t notice, distracted as they were by trying to regain control of the fleeing elk), then popped open a cask of peppercorns to induce enough of a sneezing fit in the giants that they were easily unbalanced and toppled together from off the cart. Once they’d gotten a little ways off, the party cut the elk free, and moved all the goods into their own waiting cart (and its extradimensional cellar).

The party in combat with the giants managed to break away to join the cart, and the whole party set off again into the woods on the other side of the road. However, their escape wasn’t quite quirk or clean enough, nor did they sufficiently disperse the giants. The giants are definitely in pursuit of the party, though who knows how far they’re lagging behind?

======
LOOT:

6 Giant Cloth Bolts (Green, Orange, Sky Blue, Maroon) of good quality (1,200gp)
20 Pieces of Giant Jewelry (800gp)
12 Giant Amphorae of Wine (400gp)
17 Casks of Spices & Seasonings (500gp)
10 Crates of Fruits and Vegetables (75gp)
Giant’s Pay Chest (1,000gp)

Total: 3975 gp/xp, divided 6 ways between Velxori, Elrica, Adelaide, Wob, Ecco, and Glint, who receive 663 gp/xp each.

======
INJURIES:

Zeehaw has Tomb Crystal Poisoning level 1.

======
Currently the party is composed of:

Glint
-Hibub Karate
-Bulgurd
Wob
-Lil’ Bottle Boy
-Animated Half Plate
-Monkee Braizure 1
-Monkee Braizure 2
Adelaide
-Ornoc the Waif
Ecco
-Bluepie
-Bree Yark
-Zeehaw
Velexi
Elrica
-First Son
(Talking Horses)
-Annette
-Bqarbara
-Stacy

Session 70: Saved by a Pocket Fisherman | Winter

Sanctimonious Slimes vs Expired Epicures | Played on September 18, 2021

======
Due to irresponsibly taking care of his family when he ought to be working on D&D, this recap was written long after the session was played. Also I apparently took no notes during that session. Also the whole session was basically a big running combat with giants. It was fun, but after the fact a lot of the details all kinda run together.

I do know Ecco tried, and once again failed, to throw a spear with his hand on it, and a rope trailing back to his arm. He just can’t catch a break with that trick.

The party was speeding off in their two carts, hopeful that they could create a false trail with the larger giant cart, and thereby allow their actual cart laden with all their ill-gotten booty to escape. Unfortunately, a single sprinting giant managed to catch up to them before they got too far from the site of last session’s battle. The party had to abandon the giant cart and the elk pulling it in order to not be slowed down by a prolonged encounter.

Not long after that, four more giants caught up with the party. These were better prepared than the sprinter had been, and were armed and organized to reclaim their goods and kill the ones who’d stole them. One of wob’s disease-causing arrows resulted in one of the giants attacking her fellows, reducing the pursuers to 2. Magic was also employed to reduce the weight of the cart, enabling it to be pulled more swiftly.

The party finally left the Empire of the Giants behind, and were into the wild forests beyond. They encountered some boars, which they managed to capture and bring along with them as loot.

======
LOOT:

5 Boars

======
INJURIES:

Zeehaw has Tomb Crystal Poisoning level 1.

======
Currently the party is composed of:

Glint
-Hibub Karate
-Bulgurd
Wob
-Lil’ Bottle Boy
-Animated Half Plate
-Monkee Braizure 1
-Monkee Braizure 2
Adelaide
-Ornoc the Waif
Ecco
-Bluepie
-Bree Yark
-Zeehaw
Velxori
Elrica
-First Son
(Talking Horses)
-Annette
-Bqarbara
-Stacy

Session 71: Bitsy Will Swallow You Whole | Winter

Sanctimonious Slimes vs Expired Epicures | Played on October 2, 2021

======
The party came upon a river indicated by Madeline’s map, and followed it to where a lake nestled at the base of three hills, with a village along its coast. They approached the village, navigating through the woods slowly because there was no good path for their cart. On the way in they came upon a very shoddily constructed hut. It had only 3 walls, and seemed to have been built with few (if any) tools. The sole item that showed good craftsmanship was a plaque on the wall, on which were carved stylized red letters in a language nobody in the party knew. They took a rubbing of it, and moved into town.

The town was small. Perhaps 30 thatch-roof cottages clustered about the shore, 12 boats out on the lake, maybe 100 people total. Up above the town was a stone church, with a great eye depicted atop its steeple. Behind the church was a large crevasse opening down into the interior of the hill. People stared at the party as they came into town, but no one appraoched or spoke to them. The party asked where they might buy food and a bed for the night, and were told there was no inn in town, and nobody would be willing to take them into their home unless Lasher Thomas first gave his consent. The party were directed towards the church, and headed up on foot to meet with Lasher Thomas.

The Church, though lacking in overt displays of wealth such as precious metals or gems, was clearly built with greater care than any other building around. Watching eyes were a consistent motif everywhere, and elaborate carvings of suffering saints, and barriers of wrought iron were everywhere. Lasher Thomas appeared at a knock from the party, and immediately made a bad impression on them. So, while still nominally having a friendly discussion with him, Wob waited until he moved near a ledge and transformed the stone he was standing on into goo. He fell tumbling down the hill, and broke his left arm. Many of the townsfolk fled into their homes upon seeing the Lasher was injured, but a small crowd moved to help him. Velxori attempted to mask the party’s involvement in his tumble by asking if he was alright, but unfortunately the lie was just a little too transparent.

Fortunately for the party, Lasher Thomas chose to use this opportunity to castigate his congregation about consorting with sinful outsiders, leaving his back exposed for the party to launch missile attacks at him. They left him severely injured by the first volley. Many then moved to shield the Lasher’s body from fruther harm. Ecco held aloft some of Madeline’s shed scales and appealed to the crowd in the name of their old faith. The group was not swayed, but two individuals in the crowd dealt a final blow to Lasher Thomas, and were immediately taken into custody by the rest of the crowd as “Snake Cultists.” The whole town then retreated to their homes, fearful of what would come next. Some spoke of an inquisition that would doubtless come to town to punish the townsfolk for the death of their Lasher.

A thorough investigation and looting of the church didn’t reveal much of value to the party. Lasher Thomas had a great deal of writing, but all of it was in the same language they’d seen in the poorly made hut outside town, which none of them could read. His private chambers held foods and drinks nicer than those likely available in town, comfortable furniture, and evidence that he’d bedded a number of townsfolk (over whom he clearly held a terrifying authority). None the less, there were none of the sumptuous luxuries that the party could take home as valuable treasure. Instead they made a point of removing his hoarded foodstuffs, and placing them outside for the townsfolk to take for themselves. (Which they did, though they waited until dark when neither the party, nor their neighbors, would see.)

The party brought their wagon up the hill and to a rest behind the church. (The hill is so steep that this required significant effort!). They took their rest in the church. Late at night their sleep was interrupted by a talking snake who gibbered about ‘The Council of Locks’ and ‘The Supremacy of Scales’ and promised to lead them to this Council, but then left and never returned. In the morning the party moved to the crevasse, and repelled down into the room below. There, Velxori played with some baby talking snakes. She named on Bitsy, and they got along very well. Ecco accidentally disturbed a meditating slime, who repeatedly called him an “Epicure,” refused to answer simple questions, and was unceremoniously destroyed when Wob cast “De-Ooze” to reduce him to his component bits.

The party did learn that more slimes presumably control the rooms to the East. The party ended before they discussed which way to go from here.

======
LOOT:

2 Crates of Lasher Thomas’ books, notes, and personal correspondence.
1 Rubbing of the plaque in the shoddy hut outside town.
The Component Bits of 1 Slime
Vestments worn by a Priest of God Most Censorious during service. (Ecco got Gold, Velxori got purple).

======
INJURIES:

Zeehaw has Tomb Crystal Poisoning level 1.

======
Currently the party is composed of:

Session 72: At Least We Got A Knife Out Of It | Winter

Sanctimonious Slimes vs Expired Epicures | Played on October 16, 2021

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Moving West from the Entrance, the party came upon a crowded hall of undead moving together. They didn’t seem hostile, save for the annoyed glances the party got for distrubing the flow of their movement. The party were able to talk briefly to a skeleton who called themselves Bones MacGee, who gave them some terse directions and made clear that this room wasn’t a place for chit-chat. It was a place for quiet meditation. So the party left, to visit the room that was indicated as being for chit-chat.

It should be noted that, as the party moved through the dungeon, they noted that in every room they passed through there were statues of people—presumably real people turned to stone by Medeel. I will also note that the one time Samo used magic in the dungeon it reacted strangely. It got out of control, like a match lit in a room full of flamable gas. De-oozing the ooze worked out well enough, but there’s no telling how other magic might be affected in future.

The “Chit Chat Room” was really more of a “Pointless never-ending argument room” where a small group of undead were in the midst of trying to figure out if God is a Peeping Tom. It was difficult to guide their discussion usefully, and the party moved on. They found a room for spare body parts, that included 3 brains in a bubbling vat. They were also accosted by a group of small snakes who attempted to bully them. Beyond that the party encountered an ongoing orgy, though few of the acts being performed by the undead here were recognizably sexual. The group were enthused about the presence of newcomers, and eagerly encouraged them to participate. Velxori stabbed a guy a few times, then slipped the knfie he gave her into her own pocket before leaving. Ecco enjoyed being the center of attention for a bit as his ability to independently control each of his detached limbs was put to full use. Wob managed to convince a mummified woman to move into an adjacent room, where she answered some questions before getting bored and returning to the orgy.

The party learned that Medeel the Medusa was a pretty good neighbor, who lived further to the West than this, though the Undead had not interacted with her in a good while. Certainly not since the Slimes came. The Slimes, in contrast, were bad neighbors who claimed a huge swath of rooms and often attacked the undead. They also learned that the room they were currently in had once been the laboratory of a wizard named Thister.

After the mummy woman left, the party set about investigating the room, and managed to uncover a valuable collection of material components for magic research.

Scooting back through the orgy room, the party encountered a group of Slimes who were clearly peeping on the undead’s activities, though they denied that fact. The party learned a bit about the Slime theology (mostly that it was self-serious and superior), but were much more interested in the fact that the room they’d entered seemed to ajoin to an outdoor forest, clearly too big to be underground, and clearly open to the sky, even though thre was no way the party had moved far enough away from the entrance to be out from under the hill. The Slimes mentioned that a few slimes had gotten lost in the woods. The party suggested burning down the trees to find them, but the slimes seemed to think that would cause the ceiling to come falling down. From this the party supposed that the woods must be an illusion.

They decided to set out to explore the woods. The trees were massive an ancient, leaving very little underbrush, and allowing only a dappling of light to come through. Near the end of the day the party were attacked by the largest bear any of them had ever seen. It dropped Zeehaw with its initial charge, and a swipe of its claws dut Ecco deeply, before the party was able to cut it down. The bear was then harvested for its meat, fur, and bones. This should provide enough rations for the party to explore the woods for some time.

The party bedded down to camp in the woods for the night.

======
LOOT:

Specially Bred Fleas (500g)
Lime (500g)
Snake Tongues (500g)
Mix of Charcoal, Incense, and Herbs (500g)
Snakeskin Gloves (500g)
Spool of Gold Wire (500g)

3000g (1000g/xp each for Wob, Ecco, and Velxori)

======
INJURIES:

Zeehaw has Tomb Crystal Poisoning level 1.
Zeehaw is at 0hp
Ecco has taken 12 damage.

======
Currently the party is composed of:

Session 73: The Infiniforest | Winter

Sanctimonious Slimes vs Expired Epicures | Played on October 30, 2021

======

The party awoke the next day and set out to follow the bear tracks, marking trees as they went. Finding nothing but the bones of other gigantic animals in the bear’s den, they continued to wander, encountering a variety of massive creatures as they went. Near the end of their second day going through the woods, Velxori climbed one of the massive trees. (Failing her first attempt, but getting the hang of it after that!) In every direction the forest extended as far as the eye could see, rolling gently through hills and valleys, but never opening large enough for a substantial body of water, nor rising up to mountain height.

After another night in the woods, the party continued on. Numerous times they encountered rabbits the size of large dogs, usually fleeing from some predator. The party managed to avoid getting involved with a pack of horse-sized wolves that were chasing one group (aside from a strange scrape Addelaide got as one ran past her). In the burrow of another group of rabbits they found what appears to be a baby slime, or perhaps the remains of a larger slime.

On their third day moving through the woods, the party were ambushed by a humongous lion, teaching her four cubs to hunt. Wob was the unfortunate target of the mother’s first pounce, and looked to be in serious trouble at first. The party managed to gain the upper hand in the encounter eventually, driving off the cubs and neutrelizing the mother by uncoupling her from the effects of gravity.

On the fourth day, Velxori once again climbed a tree. This time she saw something off in the distance: a tiny whisp of smoke.

The party set their course towards that.

======
LOOT:

Peanut-sized gobbet of animate slime in a glass vial
Meat, Bones, & Skins from giant Rabbits, Wolves, and Lions

======
INJURIES:

Zeehaw has Tomb Crystal Poisoning level 1.
Zeehaw is at 0hp
Ecco has taken 12 damage.
Wob has taken 12 damage

======
Currently the party is composed of:

Session 74: Chill Vibes With Enheduanna | Winter

Sanctimonious Slimes vs Expired Epicures | Played on November 13, 2021

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Currently the party is composed of:

======

The session began on the 5th day since the party departed the dungeon into the infiniforest. Now with a goal in mind, they moved towards the whisp of smoke Velxori had spotted, nearly a full day’s travel away. It was a fairly uneventful day. Bottle Boy and the Animated Suit of Armor seemed to be forming a bond, and Velxori found a stone arrowhead, before the party eventually found the source of the smoke: a small camp. There were no structures, but a tarp made from skins, a campfire with meat roasting beside it, sleeping pallets for 7 people of human proportion, and a variety of neatly packed stone tools. There was no one in the camp for the party to engage with, so they set up their own camp about 20′ away. It took a few hours before the people of the camp returned: 7 humans wearing animal skins, carrying bows and arrows and spears with stone heads. They seemed friendly, but the language they spoke was completely unintelligible to the party aside from a handful of words that sounded like distant cousins of modern common speech.

The party gave gifts of several iron spikes, and a steel dagger, both of which were marveled upon by these folk, who excitedly used the knife to skin and butcher the rabbits, before salting the meat.

Velxori and a young woman from the group managed to communicate on a basic level with gestures and single-word statements. Wob aided them by inverting his “Misrepresentation” spell, to conjure a spell of “Representation,” causing anything either of the two said to appear pictorally in a speech bubble visible to everyone. Communication was easier after that. The party learned that the young woman’s name was Enheduanna, and that her group was was a small hunting party which had been sent out to catch some of the abundant rabits in this part of the forest. They’d been planning to spend another day hunting before returning home, but encountering new people was—for them—a completely unheared-of phenomenon, and they were eager to bring the party back to their village, 3 days of additional travel into the forest.

The two groups shared food and merriment, and on the start of the 6th day out from the dungeon they travelled together towards these folk’s village. They were significantly more knowledgable about how to move safely through these woods, and were able to dramatically reduce the dangers of travel. Nevertheless, the party were attacked by a man-sized Marmoset who tried to steal Little Bottle Boy before it was driven off, and a stampede of bison the group only narrowly avoided by hiding behind trees.

On the way Velxori and Wob (through Velxori) asked and answered many questions with Enheduanna. She was confused by the concept of the “edge of the Forest,” and found the notion of no more trees frightening. She had no knowledge of any slime creatures, snake creatures, or of a medusa. She shared a lot of gossipy info about her life and family. The village she lives in has no name because it is the only settlement of humans she knows to exist, they reckon time by lunar cycles, and according to those Enheduanna is 20 years old.

As the party approached the village on their 8th day out from the dungeon, they came upon one of Enheduanna’s younger brothers carving obscene pictures on a tree, and she got angry with him about it, and he ran off home. When the party arrived in the village folks crowded around them, overawed by the completely novel experience of humans who weren’t part of their little community of about 300~400.

A feast was outlayed for the party (common upon the return of a group of hunters). Wob contributed by baking bread (he does carry all the component parts of bread!), and by giving a group of 3 young bravos the bold quest to get out and get some milk for Bottle Boy to churn into butter. Wob also exchanged a brick of hallucinatory space-incense for some portions of the hallucinagenic mushrooms the village’s mycologist gathers. Velxori, meanwhile, entertained the children of the village with a puppet show using her prehensile tail.

The feast was a rousing success that everyone enjoyed; all the more so because when they partook of the mushrooms late in the evening, it produced a shared hallucination of Malahal of the Swamp. A green woman who symbolizes togetherness and unity.

Next session, the party will awake in the village on their 9th day out from the Dungeon.

======
LOOT:

10 Portions of Hallucinagenic Mushrooms from the Inifiniforest.

======
INJURIES:

Zeehaw has Tomb Crystal Poisoning level 1.
Ecco has taken 12 damage.
Wob has taken 8 damage

======

Session 75: Sadly, Rolling a 3 Means Enheduanna Is Not Gay | Winter

Sanctimonious Slimes vs Expired Epicures | Played on November 27, 2021

======

Currently the party is composed of:

Glint
-Hibub Karate
-Bulgurd
Wob
-Khole
-Lil’ Bottle Boy
-Animated Half Plate
-Monkee Braizure 1
-Monkee Braizure 2
Adelaide
-Ornoc the Waif
Ecco
-Bluepie
-Bree Yark
-Zeehaw
Velxori
Elrica
-First Son (Pig)
-Second Son (Undead Myrmidon)
(Talking Horses)
-Annette
-Bqarbara
-Stacy

======

The morning after the feast, Wob impressed the villagers with some minor magical demonstrations. These fanciful entertainments had a hidden purpose: to discover who in the village—if anyone—might be capable of learning magic themselves. Wob discovered 5 with a strong natural talent:

A 70 year old woman with a penchant for Dream magic.
A 64 year old man with a penchant for Fear magic. (He likes to pop out and spook people.)
A 57 year old man with a penchant for Dark & Light magic.
A 38 year old woman with a skill for Water based magic.
And a shitty 17 year old boy named Khole with a skill for Gravity magic.

It was ruled that if Wob spent 1 month with these 5, he could turn them all into 1st level magic users. If he spent 1 week with them, he could get them to a point where they’d be able to teach themselves to become 1st level magic users within a year or so. Wob opted to spend a week with them, and also to try and determine if any would be willing to leave with him as his apprentice. Unfortunately for Wob, only one character rolled high enough on their “willingness to leave home” roll, and it was the shitty 17 year old whose style of magic is one Wob already knows! None the less, Khole was recruited.

During all the time this took, Velxori spent a lot of time with Enheduanna, each learning enough of the other’s language to make communication a little easier. Velxori helped with chores and with tending brothers. The two made a deep connection, but unfortunately Enheduanna is not only straight, but is involved with a young man in the village and doesn’t want to leave it permanently. However, she did agree to come with the party as far as the dungeon, and to explore that with them. She’s interested in this place which the party says she is living inside of, but doesn’t want to venture out into the wider world beyond.

Ecco had a lot of repairs to perform on himself before he was able to do much of anything, but he took the opportunity to show both Bluepie and the folk of the village a little of his expert textile knowledge. Once he was better, he did what he usually likes to do in town: help out here and there with whatever chores need doing.

On the 17th day since the party entered the Infiniforest, they set out from the village for home. Wob left stones with his students, each inscribed with a unique rune, and instructed them to keep them nearby when they sleep. He hoped he might be able to use these as a focus for communicating with them through dreams at some later time, and encouraged his 70 y/o student to reach out to him if she could.

Before heading back along the path they’d marked to reach the village, the party set out downstream along the river that flowed beside it in hopes that it might lead somewhere interesting. After 3 days of travel it did not, and if they pressed on any further they’d stray far enough from their original path that they’d need to go all the way back to the village in order to find it again. Resigned to not finding anything else of interest here, the party turned back towards home. Along the way they encountered an angry moose and some monstrous otters, but managed to escape with only minor scratches, and make it back to the dungeon in 4 days using Enheduanna’s expert knowledge of forest travel.

Next session begins back in the dungeon.

LOOT: None

======
INJURIES:

Zeehaw has Tomb Crystal Poisoning level 1.
Monkey Braizure 1 has taken 3 damage.

======

Session 76: The Snake Staff Rises Again! | Winter

Sanctimonious Slimes vs Expired Epicures | Played on December 11, 2021

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Currently the party is composed of:

======

After 21 days in the forest, subsisting largely on forrage and meat, the party returned to the dungeon. The first room they encountered had a number of long-looted chests in it. Wob pointed to the few scattered coins that were left and taught Khole about treasure, and its importance. They searched for hidden bottoms in the chests, and found one! Beneath was a pearl embeded in velvet. The moment Wob touched it, it searched his mind for his greatest desire (knowledge, and self mastery), and zipped off at great speed. The party broke into a run to follow it through a room packed dense with statues, through a room filled with garbage and a sulfrous smell, and finally into a room stacked high with books. A pair of slimes were in the process of destroying these as they deemed each to be horrible, degenerate examples of fleshly pleasures. The pearl came to rest on a particular stack of books, and the two animated monkey braizures were positioned so one obscured the other while it emptied this books into its bowl. The party further distracted the slimes by trying to engage with their sanctimonious sophistry, but they couldn’t prevent the slimes from noticing when they skeedadled off with a stack of books. The slimes angrily shouted that they’d spread word among other slimes of the party’s perfidy. As they ran out, Ecco spotted a signed second-edition copy of Suzan the Spectacular, and nabbed it for Addelaide.

Out in the Garbage room, Velxori touched the pearl. The party managed to nab it before it flew off, and Wob used his new ability to cast Dream magic to translate the Pearl’s impetus into a vision for Velxori to see in her mind. Her innermost desire to to meet her mother for the first time, and she saw her mother! The vision contained [vision contents TBD.]

Finally, Ecco touched the pearl, and it zipped off towards what interests Ecco most: a source of immense power. This took the party back through a number of rooms controlled by the Expired Epicures, which they were able to pass through without significant incident—though they were briefly separated as the parl zipped through the undead’s shuffling room against the grain of traffic, and only nible Ecco followed it directly. The path led to an out-of-the-way room in which a titanic thumb rested on a plinth, oozing blood. There were clear channels the blood was meant to follow, into vessels which would safely disintegrate the ichor; but those vessels were long smashed, and the blood now oozed into the earth. The potency of the blood was palpable. Wob collected a bucket of it for future ooze creations. Ecco placed his long-broken snake staff in the flow, bound together by wires into its original shape, and it was repaired! Wob placed the obsidian ghost-engraved staff he took from Tombrobbers on the Crystal Frontier in the flow, and it gained magical properties of its own. Velxori seriously considered drinking the blood, but after sticking her finger in it resulted in some unpleasant wrinkling, she decided against it. She did, however, place a finger bone and a skull that she’d taken from the Epicure’s spare parts room into the flow, and both became animate. The skull makes a lot of noise, but none of it is intelligible. Enheduanna commented that if Velxori was tempted to drink that gross-looking blood from this terrifying thumb, then clearly the world outside the forest was a nightmare land, and she was correct in her decision not to abandon her home.

Since the party were so near by the Epicure’s spare parts room, they popped over. Velxori fished the three brains out of the bubbling vat one by one, and placed each in the skull. As each brain was inserted it took over, and the party had brief parley with “Madam The Best,” “Steve Stabs,” and “Carol,” all of whom turned out to be absolutely terrible people. They seemed to be Epicures who had been placed in the vat because nobody wanted them around anymore.

All the brains were tossed back into the vat.

======
LOOT:

A Pearl which zipps towards a person’s desires. Works once per person. (Wob, Ecco, and Velxori have all used it.)
A bucket of blood from the Thumb of the Corpse Titan
Ecco’s Snake Staff has been repaired!
Wob’s ghost staff now has the power to transform the wielder into a zombie for 8 hours. Can be used as frequently as desired.
A Signed second edition copy of Suzan the Spectacular
Copied runes from the vessels of disintegration.
Animated Bone Finger
Animated Skull. Says “Rauuugh!” a lot.

Scattered Coins (10gp)
1 Small Brown Gem (40gp)
A sheet of fine black velvet with silver flecks (150g value)

======
VELXORI’S VISION:

Finding Velxori’s mother will be the subject of the next adventure module we play. I have not determined what that will be yet, but once I do and I’ve read it, I’ll find a spot for Velxori’s mother to fit, and communicate the contents of what Velxori’s vision was.

======
INJURIES:

Zeehaw has Tomb Crystal Poisoning level 1.
Monkey Braizure 1 has taken 3 damage.

======

Session 77: Defeated by Gravity | Winter

Sanctimonious Slimes vs Expired Epicures | Played on January 8, 2022

======

Party Members Present:

Wob
-Khole
-Lil’ Bottle Boy
-Animated Half Plate
-Monkee Braizure 1
-Monkee Braizure 2
Ecco
-Bluepie
-Bree Yark
-Zeehaw
Velxori
-Enheduanna (Temporary)

-3 Skeletal Epicures (Temporary)

Party Members Absent:

Glint
-Hibub Karate
-Bulgurd
Elrica
-First Son (Pig)
-Second Son (Undead Myrmidon)
Adelaide
-Ornoc the Waif
(Talking Horses)
-Annette
-Bqarbara
-Stacy

======

Play began with Velxori deciding to grab a skeleton hand before the party left the spare part room, just in case she could figure out how to give it to her gibberish-spouting skull as a creepy crawly body at some point.

The party came upon a room lower than the rest of the dungeon, and flooded with fetid, diseased water. There were horribly mildewed and fungus-infested rugs floating on the surface, and the party used a fishing rod to draw the most interesting of these closer to them. From it they harvested 15 mushrooms.

While they worked, a group of drunk-off-their-ass Epicures came up behind them. Apparently they’d been out statue-smashing, and upon seeing the players had the bright idea that it would be even more fun to smash living people! Wob sent his monkee statues to protect the party, but the Epicures were equipped for statue smashing, and dealt quite a bit of damage. Khole managed quite a spellcasting coup, aided by the wild magic of this dungeon. He created a field of reverse gravity in the midst of the Epicures, which dropped them to the ceiling with 3x normal earth gravity’s force. Velxori leaped off one of the monkees to knock another skeleton into the field, and Bluepie followed suit. She wasn’t successful, but fortunately Ecco was able to offbalance the Skeleton into the gravity field, so it didn’t have a chance to retaliate against the little demon child.

With four of the seven Epicures destroyed, the remaining three capitulated. They didn’t see why the party were so touchy about the attack. The only thing that would happen is that they’d get to become undead and join the eternal party going on down here in the dungeon! But okay, cool, the party isn’t into that, and also each of the three remaining undead only had 1hp left, so they agreed to follow the party and help them out as penance for their attack. They actually seemed kind of into the idea of “role playing” as a necromancer’s minions for a bit. In conversation with them, the party learned that sun destroys the Epicures, and also that the Epicures are bound to remain within 1 mile of the Corpse Titan’s Thumb.

The party and Epicures retreated to the old abandoned wizard laboratory for a night’s rest. The location was able to be secured because of the party’s temporary epicure hirelings, who let their fellows in each of the ajoining rooms know to leave the room alone for a bit. Wob developed an idea for using Kintsugi—sealing cracks with gold—to repair both his Monkee statues, and the three Epicures now working with the party. It cost 840 gold to restore all the HP necessary.

The party learned from their new Epicure friends of three locations in the dungeon they might want to visit:
-A chair that farts. (Based on their description, it releases a paralyzing gas which Medeel used to pose her victims before turning them to stone.)
-The location of Medeel’s private chambers.
-A place where the Sanctimonious Slimes have a bunch of gemstones.

The party opted to check out that last place first, and so headed back up north. While passing through the Garbage room, one of Wob’s great big heavy Monkee statues fell into a collapsed heap of trash, and the party had to pause while the other pulled it out. Wob sent Khole off to root around in the garbage for treasure (which he found in the form of a rug). While the party was going about its business, the two slimes from the book burning room wandered out, and were incensed to meet the party again. A quarrel got going, and the party honestly did try to deescelate. Wob told his Epicurean minions to look around for something that could hurt the slimes. They did for a bit, then one of them realized Wob was holding a lantern. They snatched it and hurled it at the slime, causing it to catch fire, and deescelation wasn’t really an option after that.

The slimes got in good hit against Ecco before Wob used his Wand of Turn Into Undead, along with his Misdirection magic, to transform one of the slimes into a human skeleton. This horrified both slimes, and the skeleton begged the other to put it out of its solid-shaped misery. The other slime obliged, enveloping its earstwhile companion and begining to digest it. Then Wob used the same magic again, causing the two to form into a pair of skeletons fused at an offset angle from one another.

They tried to run to their companions to beg for death together, but the party tackled them and interrogated them, promising that would reverse the spell. The party learned a little about the gemstone room, while Velxori took her time to peruse the book burning room for anything good, and found a peculiar book on comparative religion filled with margin notes.

The session ended just as the party entered the gemstone room: There were slimes, gems, and statues, all floating around in zero gravity.

======
LOOT:

15 unusual mushrooms, including the underside growth. There are 5 types, 3 each. Their properties are unknown, but they’re unusual, and grew in stagnant water less than 30 yards from the Thumb of the Corpse Titan. They’re definitely potent in some way.

A book on comparative religion, with copious notes in the margins.

A handful of pulp romance novels.

A fine rug taken from the garbage room. Worth 500g. If Wob uses his magic to remove the bloodstain from it before the party sells it back in town, it can be sold for 1221 gold.

That’s 407 gp/xp each for Velxori, Ecco, and Wob

======
Rulings:

Khole currently counts as a 0.5 level MU. He can cast spells, but the referee gets to fuck around with him as much as the referee wants. Khole will reach level 1 at the start of the next adventure.

Using the animate spell, Wob can repair 1hp of damage to his statues by spending 20gp of gold. Up to 10hp can be repaired this way over the course of a day’s rest. Requires a forge and a ritual space.

======
VELXORI’S VISION:

(In fiction, this occurred last session)

You see a woman in her late 40s, wearing a heavy traveling robe and leaning back in her chair. Her features resemble your own, though maybe less than you might have expected for your own mother. “I told you we left too early. It won’t happen for weeks yet.” she says. Another woman’s voice, outside the field of your vision, replies something about how they were lucky to have made such good time, and it’ll take more time yet to scout the area, arrange a convenient hideout, and plan an eventual escape. The details of their conversation are slippery. This vision is only meant to show you your mother, and nothing else about it sticks in your mind so clearly. One detail you can hold onto is where they are: a place called Daelzun’s Rest.

======
INJURIES:

Ecco: -8
Zeehaw has Tomb Crystal Poisoning level 1.
Monkey Braizure B took a total of 10 damage, which was healed by Gold Fusion (In previous session Monkey Braizure B was incorrectly indicated as M

Session 79: Medeel Gets a Trim | Winter

Sanctimonious Slimes vs Expired Epicures | Played on February 5, 2022

======

Party Members Present:

Wob
-Khole
-Lil’ Bottle Boy
-Animated Half Plate
-Monkee Braizure 1
-Monkee Braizure 2
-3 Skeletal Epicures (Temporary)(1 departed this session)
Ecco
-Bluepie
-Bree Yark
-Zeehaw
Velxori
-Enheduanna (Temporary)(Departed this session)
-Itty Bitsy
Elrica
-First Son (Pig)
-Dillan (Undead Myrmidon)

Party Members Absent:

Glint
-Hibub Karate
-Bulgurd
Adelaide
-Ornoc the Waif
(Talking Horses)
-Annette
-Bqarbara
-Stacy

======
The session began at the chasm. Upon learning its function Elrica sent Second Son into the room to ask the Chasm why he is such a failure. The Chasm echoed back with perfect truth, indicating that Second Son is not particularly a failure, but is instead a sad zombie who has been gaslit by Elrica. When Second Son revealed this information, Elrica agreed it was true, and said it had all been part of a plan to make him realize his own self worth. Second Son accepted this, but his Loyalty to Elrica is reduced from 12, down to 10. Additionally he suffered a mental malady from his experience with the Echo. The night sky now terrifies him beyond all reason. He can never go out at night again. Also, he has taken the name of Dillan for himself.

Wishing to reunite with those the party left on the other side of the furniture room, they ventured South. They cut through the Argumentorium, where they introduced some undesired empiracism into a discussion of who ought to clean kitchen crumbs. As they were about to enter the entry room, the party spotted a snake trying to position itself for a stealthy drop onto them. They attempted to counter-ambush the snake by having Elrica walk under it with an upwards-pointing dagger strapped to herself, but the Snake managed to avoid this and constrict her dangerously. It tried to drag her off into a narrow passage, but the party acted quickly and killed the creature. (Harvesting its meat, teeth, and skin)

In the next room the party spotted some Slimes hiding behind statues, and avoided this next ambush. They reached Khole and the two monkee braizures without further incident. Here Wob asked the three epicures larping as necromancer minions if they were still having fun. One decided to peace out, but the two others decided to stay. As the party was heading back the way they’d come, they got ambushed by Slimes. The Slimes had moved north to hide in the muck of the garbage room, and the party didn’t spot them in time. A few devestating Digesting Touches hit the party, and they fled. As they did so, Samo mixed wax, honey, various goos, and the powder from the slime he had de-oozed, to create what he hoped would be an slime-destroying ooze. Due to the wild magic of the dungeon, the amber-colored slime he produced didn’t seem aggressive towards the others, but rather began to speak in tongues, and preach an apostate version of the slime religion. None the less, the party managed to escape.

They rested in the same safe room they’d used before, recuperating as much as they could, and discussing what to do next. It was decided that they didn’t want to fuck with the slime rooms, and would rather go investigate Medeel’s fate so they could leave. At this point the party encouraged Enheduanna to return home, since they were currently near the forest. If she stayed with the party any longer they might wind up in a situation where they couldn’t come back here as they fled out of the dungeon with some horrible danger hot on their heels. Enheduanna agreed, shared some words of Friendship with Velxori, and set off into the woods the next morning.

To deal with the diseased water they’d need to pass through to reach Medeel’s room, the party spent 3 days collecting pine needles and branches, and chopping trees up into pontoons. The detritus filling the water made the pontoons much more stable as platforms. The party also used Wob’s staff to transform everyone into an undead, thereby making them immune to disease.

In Medeel’s room, the party found her lying emmaciated on a divan, with 12 massive bulging serpents growing from her head, and disappearing into the walls. A chorus of hisses greeted them, and Medeel’s mouth rasped out words. Each phrase was repeated several times, forced out of her by the minds of her hair. They demanded the party worship them as gods. The party made as if to do so, lighting their Space Incense on fire, which caused the snakes to experience visions, and a sensation of calm and peace. The intensity of these visions was enhanced by Wob casting supplementary magic spells. Moving quickly the party went forward and sliced at the serpent’s bodies right where they met Medeel’s scalp, where they were the most thin. The rush worked, and the serpents began to flail and thrash wildly. Several of them propelled themselves out of the wall and jerked violently on the floor, separating the party from the exit. It took all their strength and magic to eventually get everyone safely to the other side. It is unclear if they are in the process of dying, or in the process of transforming into something new.

The party had Medeel, but her condition was critical. Even before she had looked like she ought to be dead, and now it could only be worse with all the blood she’d lost. Wob took the risk of going to the Chasm to ask the question “How can I make Medeel Healthy again?” and the Chasm echoed back with detailed instructions on how to accomplish that. Very very detailed, and entirely specific to the time and place the characters find them in. Assuming they follow instructions, and no unexpected harm comes to Medeel, she will eventually recover. It might take her 100 years or more to get back to to ‘normal’ physically and mentally, but she could be walking and talking within the year.

The party moved to the Dungeon’s antechamber, preparing to leave. Velxori asked if the lil’ snake Itsy Bitty wanted to come with them, and Itsy Bitty said they absolutely did, because for the last little while there had been a chorus of screaming in their brain, and they wanted to get away from it. Also Velxori seems nice.

When next session begins, the party will be in area 1 of the dungeon, and must emerge from it with Medeel after having been down here for about 25 days.

LOOT:
-70lb of snake meat.
-Snake Teeth
-Snake Skin

======
INJURIES:

Elrica: -8
Wob: -6
Monkee Braizure A: -6
Dillon: -1 (CAN NEVER GO OUT AT NIGHT AGAIN)
Khole: At 1 hp
Bluepie: At 0
Zeehaw has Tomb Crystal Poisoning level 1.

onkey Braizure 1)

Session 78: Pac-Man as a Verb | Winter

Sanctimonious Slimes vs Expired Epicures | Played on January 22, 2022

======

Party Members Present:

Wob
-Khole
-Lil’ Bottle Boy
-Animated Half Plate
-Monkee Braizure 1
-Monkee Braizure 2
Ecco
-Bluepie
-Bree Yark
-Zeehaw
Velxori
-Enheduanna (Temporary)

-3 Skeletal Epicures (Temporary)

Party Members Absent:

Glint
-Hibub Karate
-Bulgurd
Elrica
-First Son (Pig)
-Second Son (Undead Myrmidon)
Adelaide
-Ornoc the Waif
(Talking Horses)
-Annette
-Bqarbara
-Stacy

======

The party had a problem: the room before them was aberrantly zero-gravity, filled with rocks and hostile slimes which dissolve people they come in contact with. Sensibly it ought to be avoided. However, it also had 23 gems of really notable beauty in it, so the party set about digging through trash to look for something they could use as the basis of an illusion. They found a sort of pet-carrier style box, tied a rope to it, and cast illusions on it to the effect that it was a glass case with a 4-dimensional gem inside of it. As luck would have it, the wild magic of the dungeon worked strongly in the party’s favor in the casting of this spell. The illusory 4-dimensional gemstone was so perfectly formed that it immediately caught the attention of the slimes, and they were all drawn towards it. Once all had crawled inside the box or at least grabbed hold of it, the party pulled them back out of the zero gravity and sealed them nice and tight between Wob’s two monkee braizure statues. Two did manage to realize they’d been tricked once the line started to pull them, and let go. Wob was able to capture them as well by taunting them, then leaping out of the way just in time for the monkees to pac-man the two oozes as they dropped into normal gravity.

The party set fire to the five trapped oozes, and teh two oozes who were transformed into a fuse skeleton jumped into the fire to die along with them. A far better fate than to live as a solid creature.

The party spent the next 20 minutes darting around in zero-G collecting a wealth of gems, and aside from Khole getting a nasty bonk on his head from the floating rubble, it all went well.

The party went West from this point, and discovered a room packed densely with nice furniture that would probably be pretty valuable if there were any way to get it out of the dungeon. They crawled through the room and out the door on the opposite side without investigating anything. In the following room there was a mouldering carpet covering three semi-obvious pressure plates, a tapestry depicting a medusa blessing the good and punishing the wicked, and a throne of petrified bodies. The whole seat was a tangle of people, with hunched backs serving as arm rests, butts pointing out. The three epciures cosplaying as Wob’s minions confirmed that this was indeed the farting chair.

Examination revealed a hand in easy reach for someone sitting in the chair, on which 4 fingers had been broken off and reattached as switches. Three of them caused surprisingly responsive cages to drop out of hidden compartments in the ceiling, and land on a space centered on the pressure plates below. The fourth switch caused a heavy green gas to erupt forcefully from the chair’s forward facing butts. Presumably this was used to paralyze people so they could be posed before being turned to stone. The gas was significantly heavier than air, and sank to the ground after only a few minutes.

Behind the throne was a door to a room dominated by a large, dark, canyon. Too dark. The party performed several inconclusive experiments with it, including strapping one of Ecco’s eyeballs to a torch and throwing it in. From their perspective on the ledge the torch seemed to fade from sight too quickly. From Ecco’s perspective, he felt his eye getting too far from him too quickly, and with the light of the torch saw a variety of forms and colors for which he had no description. The party was about to leave when Wob asked Ecco a question about where his “self” resided in his body. Like…how much could he detach at once?

Before Ecco could respond, an echo bounced out of the canyon. It answered that Ecco’s self was a product of his mind, and his mind was bound to his brain. Then everybody had to make a saving throw versus spells as that knowledge seared itself indellibly into their minds.

Turns out this is a room where questions are a natural vaccuum, which must be filled with answers as surely as water must flow downhill. The experience is very disorienting. Sadly, everyone in the party made their save, so Nick never got to reveal what happens if somone fails.

Wob also asked where the greatest source of power he could seek would be. Conveniently, it is atop the Endless Stair. Wob made another save successfully.
Wob also asked what the canyon wants for itself. It wants nothing. It is a canyon. Wob made another save successfully.

Next session will open with the party in the throne room. They must decide where to go from there. Khole and the two monkey statues are separated from the party, as they had to be left on the other side of the furniture room. The three epicure zombie LARPers are still here.

======
LOOT:
-A grimey china doll with a large chunk missing from her head.
-A waterlogged copy of “Horticultural Mysteries, Cross Referenced with the Entymological Theorums of Graal Harbldasty”
-23 gems worth a total of 4460gp (1487 xp / gp each)

======
INJURIES:

Khole: At 0 hp
Ecco: -8
Zeehaw has Tomb Crystal Poisoning level 1.

Session 79: Medeel Gets a Trim | Winter

Sanctimonious Slimes vs Expired Epicures | Played on February 5, 2022

======

Party Members Present:

Party Members Absent:

Glint
-Hibub Karate
-Bulgurd
Adelaide
-Ornoc the Waif
(Talking Horses)
-Annette
-Bqarbara
-Stacy

When next session begins, the party will be in area 1 of the dungeon, and must emerge from it with Medeel after having been down here for about 25 days.

======

LOOT:
-70lb of snake meat.
-Snake Teeth
-Snake Skin

======
INJURIES:

Elrica: -8
Wob: -6
Monkee Braizure A: -6
Dillon: -1 (CAN NEVER GO OUT AT NIGHT AGAIN)
Khole: At 1 hp
Bluepie: At 0
Zeehaw has Tomb Crystal Poisoning level 1.

Session 80: Medusa Religion, Medusa Romance | Winter

Sanctimonious Slimes vs Expired Epicures | Played on February 19, 2022

======

Party Members Present:

Wob
-Khole
-Lil’ Bottle Boy
-Animated Half Plate
-Monkee Braizure 1
-Monkee Braizure 2
-Zeehaw
Velxori
-Itty Bitsy
-Unnamed Handskull
-Unnamed Slime

Party Members Absent:

Ecco
-Bluepie
-Bree Yark
Elrica
-First Son (Pig)
-Dillan (Undead Myrmidon)
Glint
-Hibub Karate
-Bulgurd
Adelaide
-Ornoc the Waif
(Talking Horses)
-Annette
-Bqarbara
-Stacy

======

Velxori climbed out ahead of the rest of the party, and encountered a young man up top who gestured for her to hide. He explained that the town was terrified of what the Church would do to them now that Lasher Thomas is dead, so they’d set a guard out here to shout a warning if the party emerged. Fortunately, Velxori’s appearance just happened to coincide with his shift. He rejects the Faith of God Most Censorious, and prefers to worship the Divine Serpent Council of Locks! He’s convinced the party’s actions would please the Council (lul), and so he wants to help them. He suggested they ought to wait to emerge under cover of darkness when most of the town would be asleep.

After returning to the dungeon for a rest, Velxori again climbed out. The cave was now being watched vigilently by a middle aged woman. Using the last of Wob’s invisiblity potions Velxori snuck out, scouted around the area, then killed the woman and took her shawl and her fish guttin’ knife. The rest of the party then followed her out of the hole, raising Medeel very carefully in a hammock supported by both Monkee braizures. The snake cultist joined the party from his nearby hiding place, and Wob collceted the dead woman’s prayer beads, hoping to make use of the magical potency of the prayer focus used during the final moments of a zealot’s life.

Most of the party was sent off to hide in the woods, while Wob, Velxori, and a couple hirelings went into town looking for their mounts and wagon. It had been stashed in a small fenced paddock, to which had been haphazardly added dozens and dozens of holy symbols that resembled eyes surrounding the cart and horses on all sides. The party were concerned about waking the people in the house adjacent to the paddock, and went in hoping to tie them up, but accidentally woke them while opening the door. A minor scuffle ensued, and the party managed to subdue them before they cried out for more help. The party tied them up, and they requested that they be roughed up a bit. The party gave ’em each a punch in the face, despite the fact that the two villagers worried it wouldn’t be convincing enough.

With their horses and cart free, the party left town and began the long journey back South. On their way through the Empire of he Giants, they overheard a couple of giants talking about how that—now that one of them was a Chief among the Hill Giants—he was thinking of establishing a Steading in a nearby valley. Surely this will have no consequences down the line.

On the long journey Wob made sure to write down everything the answering echo had put into his mind about the proper care of Medeel; and Velxori talked to and learned a bit about the 3 tiny bois she had befriended on her adventure.

Upon reaching the Caves of Chaos, the party dropped off their Snake Cultist, not interested in keeping him around, but perhaps hoping Madeline might find some use for him. They also met privately with Madeline to pass her care of her sister, along with instructions. No payment of any time had been discussed, but Madeline bestowed 1500gp on each member of the party, save Wob who requested a more personal token of her esteem.

The party returned then to the Keep on the Borderlands, where they passed the rest of the winter in relative peace and quiet.

======
LOOT:
-1500gp/xp for Ecco
-1500gp/xp for Velxori
-Potent Prayer beads for Wob
-3 matching scarves (cut up from a single shawl) for Velxori
-Fish guttin’ knife for Velxori’s knife collection
-Janky old shovel taken from an elderly couple for Velxori
-Medeel’s Magic Lock for Wob (see below)
-Wob’s 5 potions.

======
VELXORI’S PETS

Itty Bitsy
–Talking Baby Python. During each Haven turn it will grow 2d4 inches longer.
–1hp, +1d6 per foot of length. If it’s as long or longer than a creature is tall, then it can effectively grapple that creature.
–Current Length: 9″

Unnamed Skull
–Skull mounted on a bone hand. During each haven turn its mind will develop further.
–1hp, Needs 400xp to gain 1d6hp. (doubles for each hd) Velxori must willing let it eat her xp.
–As it levels up it also develops more of a mind of its own. Once it hits 5hd (6,000xp required) it will gain a special Undead ability.
–Knows a handful of words, can perform simple tasks. Eager to pleas, but not very capable.

Unnamed Slime
–Injured fragment of one of the Sanctimonious Slimes. Nonverbal.
–1hp, +1d6 each season until it’s fully grown.
–will grow as it’s fed. Currently 4″ in diameter. Will double in size each season until it is 64″ in diamter.
–Was highly acidic, Wob & Velxori fed it to completely obliterate this function. It has no acidity at all.
–Shows affection and appreciation for the food it is given, but shows no sign that it understands attempts to communicate with it.
–Wob spent his haven turn researching how the party could alter the composition of this slime as it grows. Assuming they feed it appropriate materials they can alter its development somewhat as it grows.

======
MADELINE’S MAGIC LOCK

From her cabinet of masks Medeel removed one that was topped with a tangle of delicate wooden snakes. She plucked free one in partcular for Wob as thanks for his help in recovering her sister. In addition to being a strong symbol of her favor if shown to any of her followers, the snake has an echantment that is released if it’s broken in half.

The one who breaks the snake is returned to full health and vitality, barring any traumatic injury. (Your HP goes back to full, but you can’t regrow a lost arm.) In addition, for d4+1 turns, the character becomes physically energized. While in effect the character gains temporary hit points sufficient to double their max HP; their STR, CON, and DEX are 18; Their speed is doubled, they gain a +6 bonus to attack and damage rolls, and roll double their normal HD fo grappl checks.

The user does not know how long the effect will last when they activate it. When the effect ends they will fall unconscious for about 1 minute.

======
WOB’S POTIONS:

From session 68: “On the way to the Caves of Chaos they visited the alchemist, who had gone through a period of only modest activity. He had produced a potion which caused the imbiber to produce an orb of stench so powerful that they’d be completely ignored / fled from by any creature capable of smell. Wob purchased this potion for 470gp, but was unimpressed with the Alchemist’s meager work, and paid him an additional comission of 5,000gp to put into research. Have some better potions next time!”

Wob returned to check on his investment during Downtime. Here’s what the Alchemist had for him:

A pink gas which must be inhaled. For as long as the gas is held in the lungs (30 sec, then con check each round) the imbiber has an aura of propriety. Their actions will be considered legal, appropriate, and even polite. Obviously, they cannot speak while they do this.
Wyvern Poison Chaser. A paste which must be smeared into the wound caused by the sting of a Wyvern’s tail. Not only does it neutralize the poison, but the close brush with death allows the user to leave their body via astral projection at will. The effects fade over time. The Alchemist estimates it would last about the rest of a given adventure. He also says he tried to use preserved wyvern poison to make it work, but freshness is key to the effect. It’s gotta bright right out of their stinger.
Chewable tablet which imbues the wearer’s right eye with terrible power. They must keep it closed, because the next place it looks upon will erupt with a spontaneously rising mini-volcano.
Quaffable Carbonated Magic, which requires that the quaffer have a little bird to hand. Any rumor told to the bird will spread through communities the bird flies over. No one will be able to substantiate it, and they’ll believe it to greater or lesser degree based on its belivability and how gullible they are.
Guzzlable Alcohol which gets the guzzler absolutely plastered. Delicious, and functions as a potion of Truth-Telling.

Wob also invested an additional 5,000gp in the Alchemist’s research, specifying that 1,000gp of that amount was meant to be used solely on the Alchemist’s own whimsical pursuits, and Wob expected no return on it.

======
INJURIES:

Monkee Braizure A: -4
Dillon can never go out at night again.
Zeehaw has Tomb Crystal Poisoning level 1.