Session 31: In Which Pearl Comes to Understand Samo’s Feelings, Vis-a-Vis Humans
Run on August 11, 2021 | Week 32, Year 1
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GOBLIN MARKET:
In the goblin market the party found a prosthetic Left arm, which included a good chunk of the torso, for 600r. They also met an information broker who offered to answer questions for 140r each. The session began with the party asking her several questions…
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Question: The party produced the treasure map with the funny hat on it, and asked how to find that area.
Answer: Go down to level 11 on the second elevator. Head North, take a Right, then at the T intersection take a Left, and you’ll be at the first room visible on the map.
(The party also got away with a compound question here by complaining they didn’t know what the treasure was on the map, and the info broker pointed to the room that was circled in red.)
Question: The party produced their Yellow and Blue keys, and asked where the lock was.
Answer: Get on the second elevator, and take it to level 3.
Question: Does that door require another key?
Answer: Yes, a red one.
Question: Where is the red key?
Answer: In the Southern half of level 4.
The party set off to pursue the red key. They got on the second elevator, on the assumption that it would likely open up further South than the main elevator. Never having visited the 4th floor via this route, the doors opened up behind a sheetrock wall, which the party cut an opening in for themselves and began exploring.
They encountered a nest of hungry giant centipedes which sent them fleeing back to the relative safety of the metal box they’d come in on, but Samo summoned some Kobolds. The kobolds lamented their fate, one clearly having been mid-coitus, and another desolate because they’d been in the midst of “polishing the shell of god!” Samo, pitiless, sent them into battle gainst the monsters, and with the combination of some thrown Type-1 Napalm Grenades, the centipedes were scattered. Animate Dead brought to life two centipedes and four kobolds, which the party then used to hunt down and kill the remaining centipedes, and centipede larva. The creatures were thoroughly exterminated by the party’s efforts.
From here the party passed through a room with animated instruments playing jazzy muisc, and another room with a really strange/elbaroate/pointless staircase. The life-detecting rod was put to use. Between the wall turtles, the party noted several big clusters of human life, and busted their way through a wall to check out the biggest of them. It was an upsetting horror-harem, in which a large number of people were being injured in ways which ought to be fatal, and appearing to enjoy the experience! Samo summoned swarms of insects to bite and sting everyone, but they also seemed to enjoy this, and were not killed by it! The party moved on.
They came to a garden with a statue they recognized as Mondar the Malcontent, wizard ally to Adolphus the Hateful. Eager to escape the dungeon, the party cut through a room they hand’t visited yet, but clearly would get them back to the elevator quicker. It contained a dozen human folks engaged in thoughtful discussion about how interesting and cool Mondar the Malcontent was. The party had no time for that, and returned to the surface.
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NICK’S TO-DO LIST:
-How will the slimes pay Samo back?
-Write rules for Barrel Roll technique
-Figure out if there’s anything interesting in “Necromancy for Teens”
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NOTEs:
-The Jug of 3 Liquids has used Napalm Twice & Mutagen once.
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LOOT:
9 pieces of nice, metal spider jewelry taken from past victims of the centipedes. No value on the surface, but probably to the spiders.
Session 32: I Lost Level 4.
Run on September 8, 2021 | Week 33, Year 1
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GOBLIN MARKET:
Amid the cracked ceramic Star Trek busts (a little of every series), wet blankets, and jars of human toenails, the party found a WW2 era Spandau being sold as a bullet-powered pogo stick for 600r. They also found a spell written on a trifold pamphlet being sold as a “brain fuzzer.” When you read it your brain feels weird! The spell was Purify/Putrefy food & Water, which Samo purchased for 60r.
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While the party was visiting the Goblin Market, Gorgeous appeared and urinated on a table, before zipping away, chased by irritated goblins as Yakety Sax played in the background for the rest of the session. Pearl and Samo, meanwhile, traveled down to level 3 to parley with the spiders. They pushed through the nerds they found there, and got an audience with a group of giant spiders in what they call their “Fire Room.” The party presented the jewelry they’d found last session. Nine pieces they’d taken from spider corpses in the centipede’s nest. The spiders expressed their contempt for the ostentatious over-legged centipedes, and their thanks to the party for returning these mementos of their fallen loved ones.
The spiders were touched by the gesture. The party read the room, and opted to make the jewelry a gift between friends rather than asking for a reward. They thereby established a strong bond with the spiders as a faction, which they may have come to regret over the course of their conversations through the rest of the session. The spider’s casual references made clear that they were bigots who devoured living intelligent crystals for pleasure, and would happily keep human slaves if they ran out of nerd slaves.
None the less, the party asked if there was anything the spiders knew of which might be worth the party’s time to investigate. As it happened, there were 3 things:
-A group of black cats has taken up residence in the Northern area of level 3. They’re blacker-than-black, easily blending into shadows, and have become something of a nuisance, easily ambushing and devouring nerd slaves and spiders alike. The party hasn’t got around to checking this out at all.
-A nearby wall had a strange humming sound behind it. The party examined this from various sides, and defs heard the mechanical humming, but couldn’t figure out a good way to access it at the moment.
-In an area deep in Crystal territory, there is a corridor blocked by a heap of rubble. The spiders surmise that the portal to the world the crystals came from may well be beyond that heap of rubble. They despise the crystals as offworld interlopers who don’t have any claim on the territory they occupy in the dungeon, and would be interested to know if any potential for reinforcements exists. The party opted to pursue this for the remainder of the session.
As the party travelled, they came upon an old and looted magician’s laboratory. It was determined that Samo, as a magician himself, would be able to find 1 item per level which had been missed by the looting. The 5 items he found are listed in the loot.
A little further in they encountered some crystals who didn’t pay them much heed. Then a big room where cyrstals enjoyed bathing in colored lights…then the corridor the spiders were curious about. Easy peasy. Given as Samo and Pearl are both small, they could climb up near the top of the pile and juuuuust see through to the other side through a gap near the ceiling. (Note: the ceiling is intact. The rubble was clearly brought in from elsewhere.) On the other side was a short corridor which ended in a portal to a hall of lightning. Samo cast summon at the other side of the rubble, rolled hobgoblins, and it was determined that in this game that would hereafter refer to a group of humans who wore tricorn hats.
Samo ordered them to turn over their treasures, and they produced a handful of rations and little yellow bits of metal. (Gold?) Samo returned these, since they have no notable value and he didn’t wish to alienate this group over such trivialities. He interrogated them as to their origins, and they revealed that they were the Followers of the Founders, and lived on level X of the dungeon. (Note: As I write this I don’t have access to my maps, being mid-move. It’s either level 11 or 12. Either way, the party knows it.)
Insisting that they be careful and not put themselves in danger, Samo sent the Tricorns to investigate the portal. They described it being impermeable at first, then they were able to get through into a concrete corridor, which switched to a metal grid after a few yards, which is where the arcing electricity was. Turning around, they noted that the portal back was rotating between 3 different locations. Samo called them back, set them to the task of making a hole in the rubble large enough for a rat person and a child to crawl through, after which the summoning spell ended.
Samo and Pearl got through the portal, watched it rotate for a bit, then opted to enter a hallway with some traffic cones in it. Beyond this they found a mysterious factory producing traffic cones and dropping them into a hole in the floor. A room beyond that they spied upon some gangly, hairy-headed fellows with long fingers making rude noises and wearing traffic cones on their heads.
It was by then long past time to retreat from the dungeon, and the two adventurers did so without any notable incident.
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NICK’S TO-DO LIST:
-How will the slimes pay Samo back?
-How will the spiders demonstrate their friendship?
-Write rules for Barrel Roll technique
-Figure out if there’s anything interesting in “Necromancy for Teens”
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NOTEs:
-The Jug of 3 Liquids has used Napalm Twice & Mutagen once.
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LOOT:
Spells on a scraps of paper: Move Earth (OSE) (Level 6), Stone to Flesh & Flesh to Stone (OSR) (Level 6)
An Amulet of Protection Against Scrying (OSE)
P&P Wondrous Items: Candle which undoes any harm done under its light (#25), Satchel of Growing Blocks, 15, in various shapes and sizes. They go from 4″ to 4′. (#65)
Session 33: Wholesome 10-Pin Alley
Run on Octobewr 6, 2021 | Week 34, Year 1
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GOBLIN MARKET:
Underneath a bunch of “Pizza Heaven” branded air fresheners, the party found a belt sander being sold as “the greatest thing in the world” for 1000r. They passed on it. They did, however, purchase some “Powder of Robot Control,” for 120r. Samo plans to use this as part of a planned ritual to imbue Sarah the T-800 Security Bot with a soul. They also learned that pizza is not well understood in the dungeon, but everyone knows it was a food that used to exist that everybody seemed to love a lot.
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Now that the 4th sublevel is back in service, the party opted to return to their search for the red key. Based on the various maps they’ve managed to compile, they know for a fact that the first elevator intersects with the northern 1/3rd of level 4. They know the red key is in the Southern half of the level, but they have no idea what part of the level the second elevator intersects with. They decided to go down in the first elevator, since it was closest to unexplored rooms, and hopefully they could build a better map of the area for future exploration.
They came upon an old and decrepit bowling alley, and made a point of looting some bowling alley accessories. Of note, they discovered a shaft that had been cut open in the area behind the pins, where the restacking mechanisms were. Samo climbed down 60′ of it without reaching the bottom, but did note that someone had previously shaped jagged bits of rebar into hooks every 10′ or so. He also heard clattering sounds and robot voices once he got down 60′, but opted not to go any further on his own. The party also encountered a venemous snake warming itself around an old motor, in the bowling shoe cubbies. The snake spoke to them, and the party learned quite a bit about snakes: that they have many medical professionals among their kind, that this particular snake is an architect, and that it’s gaouche for a snake to brag about the potency of its venom. Using the Summon Swarm Spell, the party provided the snake with a great deal of tasty mice to eat, long into the future. They also provided some friendly chat, and made a pal of the snake, who allowed them to milk a small vial of its venom for their own use.
A little deeper into the dungeon, the party found an old battlefield where something big and terrible (Probably Xogthax) killed a dragon of the more traditional lizard variety. This must have happened long ago now, because it was reduced to nothing but bones with a few strands of scales and sinew draped over it. Having struck a necromatic goldmine, Samo conjured all his energies to raise the 7HD Dragon Skeleton for himself, with space in the ribcage for him and pearl to ride in. The very next room was a military vehicle garage with four freight elevators in it, and the two set about creating a suit of plate armor for the dragon skeleton, using parts from tanks and helicopters.
Before returning to the surface, they noted that one of the adjacent doors was marked with strange warning signs. One was definitely the sign for lasers. One appeared to be a venn diagram with a sharp squiggly line between the two circles, and the third was a cloud of stars with little dotted lines connecting them. The party did not open this door.
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NICK’S TO-DO LIST:
-How will the slimes pay Samo back?
-How will the spiders demonstrate their friendship?
-Write rules for Barrel Roll technique
-Figure out if there’s anything interesting in “Necromancy for Teens”
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NOTEs:
-The Jug of 3 Liquids has used Napalm Twice & Mutagen once.
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LOOT:
Jar of Bolwing Lane Wax
Length of 10mm Tubing
Keg Tap
Beer Dispenser Spigot
Air Compressor
Nail Gun
1 Dose of Venom, which induces a hyper-speed ADHD state in human scale creatures. Like it legitimately makes them magically fast, but also unable to focus and prone to clumsiness. (For mice and such it basically just makes their heart explode).
Session 34: Mapping The Bottom Edge of Level 4
Run on October 20, 2021 | Week 35, Year 1
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GOBLIN MARKET:
Magic steel-toe boots which, when heel-clicked, prevent the wearer from being forcibly moved from where they’re standing. They cost 1000r, and the party passed. There was also some mutation juice for 100r, which Samo immediately drank, and gained an animal-handling ability. Normal animals (not monsters) will never harm Samo except in self defense, and will often (not always!) be calm and friendly towards him. (Mutation 501)
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Back down to level 4 to continue the search for the red key, this time through the second elevator. The party spent time in the planetarium they skimmed through last time, and found an odd pre-apocalypse recording that referenced one of the planets displayed on the ceiling. It was filled with dry details of the sort that would be gathered from a long-range probe, but the briefing also discussed plans for how experiments and observations would be taken on the planet. From the way it was said, it was clear that there would be humans on the planet within a fairly short time span, which doesn’t make sense. Interstellar travel wasn’t achieved prior to the apocalypse, let alone travel rapid enough for people to get to another planet within days! Anyway, the party ripped out the audio system and mounted it on their dragon mech thing.
The party chatted with the Mondar worshipers briefly, but gained nothing useful from it save the knowledge that their minds were being affected by magic somehow. They passed tyhrough Mondar’s garden, avoiding a nasty climbing-vines trap because the armored dragon they’re riding around in is totes OP. South of the garden they came to a long E/W hallway, which they speculated might be the Southmost point in the level. A little ways on they came to a bar where folk from many different levels met to drink. As the party entered, everyone was singing a song which broke down the foibles and stereotypes of each level of the dungeon, from level 1 on down. As a prank, the barflies tried to trick the party into heading into the room across the hall (which had a warning sign on it that looked like a clock.) Samo tried to summon some mooks to check it out for him, but he got rat people, and he refuses to throw their lives away like that. Instead he bought them all booze.
The room across the hall did indeed have treasure in it: 3 cases of Slim Jims! However, they were in the middle of the room with a broken, sputtering machine. A thrown torch demonstrated that the room was under the effects of some kinda time dilation, so that the thrown object wouldn’t actually reach the treasure for maybe a week or so. Pearl used her Shattering Word to explode the torch into splinters, and the party got a good sense of how strong the time dilation was in different parts of the room. (Clearly strongest closest to the busted machine.) The party experimented with the time dilation a few different ways, but were not able to overcome it. Instead they settled on creating a little trench of water, using the magic trowel to turn it into a large body of water, and walking away for a week while the magically large gush of water made its way over towards the machine.
As part of setting up the trench for the magic trowel, the party removed a potted plant from mondar’s garden, which transformed into a trash can filled with pebbles when taken out of the garden.
The party also entered a room where the floor had collapsed. Below them they saw a hefty barrier against the Southern wall of the room below them. Also noteworthy is that the room without a floor had several doors on it, the Northmost of which had warning labels on it identical to the ones the party saw at the end of the previous session.
The party retreated back to the long hallway, and started moving up what is—presumably—the Western edge of the map. They came to a door unlike others in the dungeon. Iron banded wood rather than modern steel doors. Beyond it the party found a room where every single surface was covered in little drawers. Thousands of them, floor, walls, ceiling. They opened two and found a Jar of Eyeballs and a Biscuit wrapped in wax paper. Junk. Samo used his ghost vision and saw 30 drawers with some kind of spiritual activity in them. He opened one, and a ghost began to flee for freedom, but paused just long enough to answer some questions for the party. She said her spirit had been caught by a “Meaty Creature,” and held captive here for who knows how long. She also indicated that one of the drawers near her seemed to be of special interest to the meaty creature. She never saw why, but tedious years spent in a small drawer had left her with little to occupy her time other than to figure out how to identify the various sounds the Meat Creature made as it moved around. She left, and in the indicated drawer the party found a set of 5 beautiful scales. Gorgeous set about looking for drawers that had good food smells, and found a fishy one. She opened it, and a shark flew out. It gave Pearl a nasty bite, but everyone else moved away so the Dragon could subdue and kill the shark while it suffocated outside the water.
At this point the party were forced to flee the dungeon by the lateness of the hour, and rolled a 2 for “Session-Long Penalty.” It seems that while they were escaping the dungeon, they ran afoul of a cockroach wizard who didn’t appreciate the party’s attitude, and laid a curse on them. Next session everything the party means to say will come across much more rudely than they intend, such that reaction rolls are made with a -4 penalty.
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NICK’S TO-DO LIST:
-Develop updated Magic in the Moment
-How will the slimes pay Samo back?
-How will the spiders demonstrate their friendship?
-Write rules for Barrel Roll technique
-Figure out if there’s anything interesting in “Necromancy for Teens”
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NOTEs:
-The Jug of 3 Liquids has used Napalm Twice & Mutagen once.
-Skeleton Dragon has 2 damage.
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LOOT:
5 palm-sized lizard scales: purple, red, yellow, silver, black. Some research identifies these as a form of currency which is often used by wizards when dealing with otherworldly entities. They’re worth roughly 10,000r if you can find someone to trade them to.
Jar of Eyeballs
Biscuit wrapped in wax paper.
Session 35: Simply Samo
Run on November 3, 2021 | Week 36, Year 1
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GOBLIN MARKET:
Boots of Speed for 800r (not purchased), a Flashbulb of Dispell Magic for 120r which was purchased. (Caster gets a save if they have 12HD or more)
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Lacking any companions, Samo pursued some small personal goals this session, which avoided the potential for violent confrontation as much as possible. Such as heading down to that time dilated room from the previous session to loot the crates of slim jims, now that the time dilation machine has been busted by the rushing flood of water.
Primarily, though, Samo occupied himself by nurturing the latent sentience he sensed within Sarah the Security Robot. He conferred with the Rogue Sexbots about how the process worked for them, and they agreed to offer Sarah any guidance she needed if Samo could “bring her to life,” as it were. Samo constructed an elaborate circle and ritual in which to perform his magic. He used his spell of Graft Limb to attach the spiritual focus taken from the skull of the Bone King to Sarah’s body. This focus had been serving as Samo’s receptical for the amorphous spiritual essence he’d collected up to now (6 life’s worth)
Then, using a permutation of his Animate Dead spell, along with the powder of Control Robots (useful for easing the interactions between magic and software), the spell was performed, and was successful.
It was also determined that, based on Samo’s resources and spellcasting ability and available downtime, he’ll start each session with 2 + d4 1HD skeletons.
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SARAH
Currently happy with her name, indifferent towards gender, and interested in joining the party—at least until she’s found her footing.
She is idealistic, somewhat formal, and has a tendency to get preoccupied with minutia.
Sarah is a 1st level Fighter with AC 17, & HP 10.
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NICK’S TO-DO LIST:
-Develop updated Magic in the Moment
-How will the slimes pay Samo back?
-How will the spiders demonstrate their friendship?
-Write rules for Barrel Roll technique
-Figure out if there’s anything interesting in “Necromancy for Teens”
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NOTEs:
-The Jug of 3 Liquids has used Napalm Twice & Mutagen once.
-Skeleton Dragon has 2 damage.
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LOOT:
3 Shipping Boxes of Slim Jims (10,800r) (120 per box, 6 boxes per shipping box, total of 2160 slim jims for 5r each.)