Magical Marvels 30: Getting Weird with the Classics 2

I thought this was super fun, so I’m doing it again. These were more or less randomly generated from the 1979 Dungeon Master’s Guide. (One roll on rings table, two rolls on the miscellaneous tables).

The modifications aren’t an attempt to “update”or “fix” these magic items. It’s just me altering them to suit my particular sensibilities. I love magic items, but I’m not a big fan of plentiful, standardized, unambiguously useful ones.

Ring of Protection
A ring of protection increases the wearer’s armor class value and saving throws versus all forms of attack. A +1 ring raises AC by 1, say from 10 to 9 and gives a bonus of +1 on saving throw die rolls.

The Ring of Protection From…?

A fickle sort of magic that protects its wearer from whatever it feels like at any given time. The ring of protection is a silver band with a large seal. The seal is made up of a half dozen concentric rings, each of which have embossed lines and twists on them. Each time the ring activates, these rings spin round one another, causing the lines and squiggles to form a new word, indicating what the wearer will be protected from next.

When the ring is found, roll 2d6 on the table below to find out what it is currently protecting its wearer from. The next time that thing would cause the wearer suffering, the ring activates. This protection takes whatever form seems simplest at the time. You might think of it as a kind of limited Wish spell; it’ll get the job done, but the way in which the job is done varies. If the player is protected from rocks, and rocks fall on them, then perhaps the rocks will disappear, or perhaps they’ll bounce off the character like they were made of Styrofoam, or maybe the character will teleport out from under them. The possibilities are limited only by the referee’s imagination. Just remember not to be a dick about it. No “protecting” them right into harm’s way.

2. Sadness
3. Torture
4. The opposite sex.
5. The Law
6. Social Awkwardness
7. Being too healthy (Take 1d4 damage, reroll)
8. Rocks
9. Falling
10. Reptiles
11. Blades
12. Death

Orb of Might
According to tradition, great items of regalia were constructed for special servants of the deities of each alignment when the gods were contending amongst themselves. Who among them first conceived of the idea is unknown. The champion of each ethic alignment–Evil, Good, Neutrality–was given a crown, an orb, and a scepter. These items have been scattered and lost over the centuries of struggle since they first appeared. These 3 complete sets bestow great powers.
Each Orb has an ethic alignment determined as follows:
01-06: Evil
07-14: Good
15-20: Neutrality
If a character of another ethos touches an Orb different from his or hers, a saving throw versus magic must be made to avoid death and from 4-24 hit points of damage will be taken if the save is successful. If the character so touching an Orb also possesses a Crown and/or Scepter, surviving the saving throw versus magic will invoke a malevolent effect from table IV. Each Orb is of platinum, encrusted with gems, and topped with a device of precious metals and stones, so as to be worth 100,00 or more gold pieces on the open market. Each orb is equal to a Gem of Brightness and also has [two randomly rolled Minor Benign Powers, and one randomly rolled Minor Malevolent Effect].

Orb of the Crusader

A gold sphere, richly appointed with gems and inlays, and topped with an ornate cross. This orb was crafted by the Pope Urban the II himself, and was meant to be wielded in the crusades by Adhemar of Le Puy.

If the orb is touched by one who is not a Catholic in good standing, their hand will wither to a shriveled black thing, dealing 1d8 damage to their maximum hit points.

The orb’s wielder is endowed with all the powers of a priest. Not a cleric, mind you, but a priest. The wielder may hear confessions, perform the mass, administer sacraments, etc. If the wielder encounters any non-catholic, or catholic heretic, they must call on that person to convert immediately. If the person refuses, the wielder must save versus magic or be compelled to seek that person’s destruction on the spot.

When held, the orb provides the same defensive benefits as a shield. It does not deflect attacks or projectiles, but those attacking the wielder find their technique becoming sloppy. The light gets in their eyes, or their arrows are diverted by an errant gust of wind.

The wielder’s hirelings have their loyalty raised to 12. They will gladly risk their lives for their employer, accepting nearly suicidal commands so long as there is even a moderate chance they will survive.

In addition, each wielder of the orb gains the ability to perform one of Jesus’ miracles. The miracle is randomly determined when the wielder first touches the orb, and can never be changed after that. The miracle can only be performed while the orb is held.

Change water into wine.
Calm stormy weather.
Cast out any spirits that are possessing a person.
Cure deafness.
Cure blindness.
Cure muteness (even disrupting a silencing spell).
Cure leprosy.
Restore missing or destroyed limbs.
Use “Turn Undead” against demons.
Transform a small amount of food into a feast.
Rise from the dead after 3 days. (Once, and once only).
Raise others from the dead. (3 times total).

Boots of Levitation
As other magical boots, these soft footgear will expand or contract to fit giant to halfling-sized feet. Boots of levitation allow the wearer, at will, to ascend or descend vertically. The speed of ascent/descent is 20′ per round (minute). There is no limitation on usage. The amount of weight the boots can levitate is randomly determined in 14 pound increments by rolling d20 and adding the result to a base of 280 pounds, i.e. a given pair of boots can levitate from 294 to 560 pounds of weight. Thus, an ogre could be wearing such boots, but its weight would be too great to levitate. (Cf. second level magic-user spell , levitation.)

Airwalker Boots

The wearer is able to walk right off of a ledge without falling. It appears as though there is an invisible floor beneath their feet, at the same level as whatever surface they stepped off of. They cannot rise or ascend vertically, but they can move about freely on a horizontal plane.

The magic of the boots only lasts for 10 steps, or about 20′. After that the character can remain still to prevent themselves from falling, but if they move their feet at all, they will suddenly realize they’re standing on nothing. Like an oldschool cartoon character, they will plummet to whatever more substantive surface awaits below.

Magical Marvels 28: Getting Weird With the Classics 1

Randomly generated magic items from the 1979 DMG, rewritten to suit my current playstyle a little better.

Ring of Invisibility
The wearer of an invisibility ring is able to become invisible at will, instantly, This non-visible state is exactly the same as the magic user invisibility spell (q.v.), except that 10% of these rings also have inaudibility as well, making the wearer absolutely silent. If the wearer wishes to speak, he or she breaks all silence features in order to do so.

Ring of Imperceptibility

The wearer of the Imperceptibility ring cannot be detected by anyone they are aware of. The wearer themselves still reflects light and produces sounds and smells, but so long as they’re aware of a person’s presence, that person is completely unable to detect any of those things.

If anyone the wearer is unaware of is nearby, they can see, hear, and smell the wearer as normal. If they notice the wearer before the wearer notices them, they are immune to the ring’s magics until the wearer manages to hide from them normally, remove the ring, and put it back on again.

If the wearer does anything that is difficult to ignore, the ring struggles to maintain the illusion that the character is not present. In these instances, the player must make a saving throw versus Magic, or the ring will erase itself and its wearer from reality in order to maintain the illusion that no one was present. If, for example, the wearer opens a door in full view of individuals that the ring is deceiving, and there isn’t any wind to blame it on, then the save must be made.

Brazier Commanding Fire Elementals
This device appears to be a normal container for holding burning coals unless magic is detected for. It enables a magic-user to summon an elemental of 12 hit dice strength from the elemental plane of fire. A fire must be lit in the brazier–usually 1 round is required to do so. If sulfur is added the elemental will be of +1 on each hit die, i.e. 2-9 hit points per hit die. The fire elemental will appear as soon as the fire is burning and a command word is uttered. (See Monster Manual for other details.)

Brassiere of Commanding Fire Elementals

A woman’s undergarment that is uncomfortably hot to wear, causing the skin of the breasts to redden, blister, and peel. When a fire elemental is encountered, the wearer may attempt to command the creature by exposing the brassiere. If the elemental fails a save versus Breath, the wearer’s sex appeal is enough to take their breath away. They become intent on pleasing the wearer, and will attempt to perform any task that is asked of them.

After a task is completed, the elemental will return to the wearer. At this point the wearer may either spurn the elemental’s advances, or give them a new task. If the elemental is spurned, there is a 20% chance per task they completed that the creature will begin a rampage of destruction in a random direction. Otherwise, they will merely return to their home plane in frustration.

For each task requested after the first one, there is a cumulative 1 in 6 chance that the elemental will attempt a lover’s embrace before doing what is requested of it. This will immolate the wearer unless the elemental is destroyed. The brassier itself is fire proof.

Instrument of the Bard #2: Mac-Fuirmidh Cittern
This lute-like instrument is 50% likely to deliver 3-12 hit points of damage to any non-bard or bard under 5th level who picks it up and attempts to play it. A 5th or higher level bard who uses the cittern has a 15% better chance of charming and can sing the following songs once per day which:
1. Cast a barkskin spell;
2. cure light wounds; and
3. cast an obscurement spell.
Lower level bards cannot use the cittern even if they do not harm themselves (whether they take damage or not)

The Cittern of Mac-Fuirmidh

A finely made Cittern once owned by the famed Mac Fuirmidh. Any class which makes music as a matter of course may play the instrument freely without penalty. Members of other classes who wish to use it gain the “Music” skill at 0-in-6. The skill can be advanced normally. Anytime they attempt to use the Cittern, they must check to see if they’re able to play correctly. A failed skill check indicates that sour notes have been played, causing the strings to lacerate the musician’s hands, dealing 1d6 damage.

If played correctly, one of these three effects can be produced. It takes one minute of playing before any magic occurs.

Any foes who can hear the music are given pause by its beauty. A new reaction roll is made at +1 to determine how they feel about the party, now that they know the party is capable of producing such beauty. Creatures who are noted music lovers, or who have large ears, react at an additional +2. Creatures who would not normally make reaction rolls, such as animals and unintelligent undead, react at an additional -2. Creatures without ears are unaffected.
The skin cells of the musician’s allies begin to reproduce at an alarming rate. Their skin grows thick, and disgusting cracks form in it to allow them to maintain free movement. While under these effects, the party could understandably be mistaken for monsters. However, the thick skin does grant +2 to their armor class, and +1 to any saving throws made against a physical effect. The excess skin will flake off and shed after an hour.
Once the music’s magic has taken hold, the musician’s hit points become a common pool of luck which any allied character can draw from. Each hit point can be used to reduce an enemy’s attack roll or saving throw by 1, or increase their own attack rolls or saving throws by 1. These are declared after any dice are rolled. So if Alice’s armor rating is 14, and a bandit rolls a 16 on their attack roll, Alice can spend 3 of her Musician friend’s hit points in order to reduce the bandit’s attack roll to 13. This effect ends 1 turn after the music ends.

Spending Money 3: The Curio Shop

Players having the ability to buy magic items isn’t actually a problem. It’s the means by which the purchase of magic items is implemented that can be a problem. Functionally unlimited access to a full list of magic items is the problem. Game advancement that assumes the players will accrue magic item upgrades along a vague schedule is the problem.

But if a wizard opens his robes to reveal a necklace hanging from the inside and says “You want necklace? Much magical. Good price. You buy now, yes?” Well then that’s just fuckin’ awesome.

The Curio Shop could take a number of different forms. Perhaps it’s a well known fixture of a capitol city’s wealthy merchantile district. Perhaps it’s a run down shack in the ghetto. It could be a traveling wagon that sets up wherever it finds people; or it could be an extra dimensional room, the entrance to which is any door that you walk through backwards 3 times.

Regardless, the curio shop can only be visited during play. Players can’t purchase from it between sessions the way they might with other shops.

While there are always a large number of oddities available in the curio shop, most are really just there to drain the coins of the unserious looky-loo. For those looking for something more substantive than a cow fetus in a jar, there are always 8 items available for sale.

Each time the players enter the shop, 1d6-1 random items have been sold since the last time the players visited. The empty slots are restocked by rolling on the d100 restocking table, which can be repopulated at the referee’s leisure.

I would recommend that the referee track items randomly removed from the shop. Because, ya know, the fact that they’re gone means that somebody out there in your campaign world bought them. So it serves as a handy list of magic items you can give to an NPC.

Some items in the curio shop are there merely because they appear to be magical, or otherwise impressive. These items will require identification, and may prove to be nothing more than expensive baubles. Other items have already been identified, and are invariably priced much higher. It is important that players be made aware of these facts. While the shop keeper may be trying to fleece the players, the referee should be clear about the facts: “This item may or may not be magical. You won’t be able to find out until you buy it.” That’s an interesting choice, and one that players will take you up on from time to time. And no, the curio shop owner doesn’t want you futzing with his inventory, casting Identify on items before you buy them.

All sales are final.

Currently In Stock:

1. A powder puff. When used, raises your Cha to 18 for one day, but reduces your STR to 3 for the same length of time. Has 8 uses. Cost: 600sp

2. A six sided die which always lands on the last side you tapped your index finger on. Cost: 200sp.

4. A pocket of holding. Once sewn onto pants or a pack, it can hold a single item, which a single character would be able to lift by themselves. When placed in this pocket, the item adds nothing to the character’s encumbrance. Cost: 2000sp.

5. Wooden Rat mask. Painted in a simplistic, tribal fashion. Cost: 2000sp

Identify: When worn, there is an 80% chance the character will transform into a rat (with all the benefits and penalties that implies), and a 20% chance that everyone, including the wearer’s friends, will simply see them as a rat. Only the wearer can tell the difference. Once it has been worn, the mask’s effects will remain the same for 1 week.

6. Flickering Prism Ioun Stone Cost: 1200sp.

Identify: Ioun Stone 151 “The IOUN stone of absolute desperation stores a massive amount of positive energy. The user can employ this stone only a limited number of times, allowing for the casting of any single spell at 1d3+1 levels higher and at maximum effect, causing a -2 penalty on any saves made against the chosen spell’s effects. The stone has a base chance of 50% of crumbling after its initial use, with an increase of +10% per use.”

7. A compass which will always point towards the location of the last person whose blood was dribbled on the needle. Cost: 3800sp

8. A housecat-sized grizzly bear in a cage. Cost: 500sp

d100 Restocking List:

1.A long-lived, 4 inch tall woman. Claims to be the daughter of a woman who fell in love with a beetle. Does not appreciate being sold as a curio, but is under a curse and must obey whomever purchases her until they die. Even if they wish to free her. Cost: 4200sp

2. An entrancing box of chocolates. When offered to anyone, their reaction roll is immediately considered Friendly. Once offered, the recipient will consume the chocolates, and the item will become useless. Cost: 900sp

3. The crest of the Wizard Overlord for Level 7, Column D. Cost: 4000sp

4. A piece of brown chalk. Cost: 300sp
Identify: When a circle is drawn on the ground with this chalk, a simple one-room hut of wood will appear. Max diameter 15’

5. A door which, when rested against a wall and knocked upon, becomes a real functioning door in the wall. One use only. Cost: 500sp

6. A scroll of Fireball as the AD&D spell. Cost: 1400sp

7. A scroll of Cone of Cold as the AD&D spell. Cost: 2000sp

8. A scroll of Ice Storm as the AD&D spell. Cost: 1700sp

9. A scroll of Shocking Grasp as the AD&D spell. Cost: 800sp

10. Triple Barrel Pistol. Takes 3 times as long to load, but each barrel can be fired individually or together. Cost: 1500sp

11. Sure Tangle Whip. Any non-threatening object which a whip could easily wrap around, the whip will tightly wrap around on a successful attack roll. Rafters or teacups are good examples. Enemy feet or weapons don’t work. Cost: 600sp

12. Unknottable rope. Completely mundane in all respects, save that any knot tied with the rope, regardless of the skill with which it was tied, will immediately come undone as soon as pressure is placed upon it. Cost: 100sp

13. Gloves which chill anything they touch. This cannot be used as an attack, but will keep your drinks from getting warm. Cost: 100sp

14. A codpiece with a large, upwards turning horn on it. Cost: 200sp
Identify: Nothing

15. A stone dagger. Carved elaborately. Cost: 500sp
Identify: Nothin’

16. A glass dagger. Cost: 500sp
Identify: A glasstouch dagger, as seen in Magical Marvels 10.

17. A small, pocket sized horse made of jade. Cost: 400sp Identify: Nothin’

18. A metal skullcap covered in 6” long spikes, spaced 3” apart. Cost: 3500sp
Identify: Grants the wearer a +2 bonus to rolls to resist charm effects. And, if successfully saved against, the helm deals 2d8 damage to the caster of said spell.

19. A blue speckled egg with the words “Hat of Five Birds” written in gold letters around it. Cost: 1500sp
Identify: A Hat of 5 Birds, as seen in Magical Marvels 14.

20. A deck of Illusions. Each card pulled from the deck will cause an illusion to materialize. (As seen in Magical Marvels 15) Cost: 1200sp

21. A staff topped with a skull, roses grow from the eye sockets. A spellcaster may tap it on the ground, and expend one of their spells for the day, to unleash a blast of spores. Targets must save v. breath or become infected with the sproes. 1 turn later they must make a save v. magic. On success, they take 2d8 damage as the spores die. On failure, the spores wrap around their brain, and they become the spellcaster’s minions for one week, then die. Cost: 12,500sp

22. A snarling cat’s mouth with a blade erupting from it. Somewhat crudely carved on the hilt is the name “Skarper.” This weapon provides a +1 bonus to attack and damage, and the wielder gains darkvision, as well as a +2 bonus to any attempt to flee from or avoid combat. Cost: 2400sp

23. Spear of many. When thrown, this spear magically multiplies into a barrage of 10 spears. If the to hit roll was successful, the target takes 1d10 times normal spear damage. If the roll was a failure, the target still takes 1d4 times normal spear damag. Unfortunately, it takes a full day for the conjured spears to disappear, so after combat, the character must either carry 10 spears around all day, or risk losing the one true magic spear. Cost: 8,000sp

24. A 1” tall featureless figurine which takes on the appearance of anyone who picks it up. Once purchased, it imprints on its owner, and will no longer change shape. At will, the owner may trade places with the figurine, appearing wherever the figurine was, while the figurine appears wherever the owner was. After each use there is a 2% chance the figurine will crumble to dust. Cost: 2500sp

25. A codpiece with a large, outwards spike of steel on it. Cost: 200sp
Identify: Can be used to launch lightning bolts at foes with an aggressive hip thrust. Save v. Devices or take 1d6 damage.

26. A specially designed pistol with a brace of 20 capsules. Each capsule can be fired at a target within 5’, exploding in a puff of powdery smoke from the end of the gun, and being inhaled by the victim. That target must save v. poison to avoid the effects of the powder. On failure, the one who fired the gun must make a charisma check, with the target’s hit dice as a penalty. If they succeed, the target becomes their obedient servant for 2d4 weeks before the powder wears off. If the charisma check is failed, there is an 80% chance the target will become crazed and violent, gaining a +4 to both hit and damage rolls. The other 20% of the time, the target’s head explodes. Cost: 5,000sp

27. A small cymbal the size of a saucer. When rapped with the knuckles, it creates no sound. Instead, any undead creatures within 100’ wail loudly in pain, revealing their locations. This does not reveal the location of the party, though intelligent undead are likely to realize some foe is nearby. Cost: 400sp

28. A bracelet with simple stick-figure depictions of weapon fighting around it. Cost: 400sp
Identify: A weapon up to medium size can be stored in an extradimensional space inside of this bracelet. As a move action, the weapon can be launched into the owner’s hand.

29. A chainmail bikini. Grants a base armor class of 18, and uses only 1 encumberance. Cost: 4000sp

30. A ring of tinkering +1. If the tinkering check is failed, character takes a -4 on any saving throws that would result from failure. Cost: 700sp

31. A ring with a large diamond on it. The ring allows the player to grant any other person’s wish. However, the wish ceases to function if the player who granted the wish comes within 500’ of the person whose wish was granted. (Resuming function once they are again sufficiently far apart). A wish cannot be coerced. Cost: 3000sp

32. A ring which makes the hand that wears it completely invulnerable. If the sun goes supernova, your hand–ending at the wrist–will be all that remains. Cost: 1100sp.

33. A ring with a small length of string sprouting from its outside edge–perhaps 1/3rd of an inch. Cost: 300sp
Identify: Anything thrown with this hand, while wearing this ring, will return to the hand as soon as it stops moving, flying backwards through the battlefield. Ammunition from bows, crossbows, etc do not count.

34. A ring which makes any weapon the wearer holds poisonous. (If damage rolled is in the upper half of the weapon’s damage range, target must save v. poison or take 3d6 Con damage over 2 turns). Once put on, this ring can never be taken off without removing the finger. (“You feel a dozen spikes around the ring drilling through meat and deep into the bone of your finger.”) While ring is worn, your own poison save is reduced by 1. Cost: 2000sp

35. A mummified finger. If your own finger is cut off and this one attached in its place, you permanently lose 1 point of charisma, but gain the use of a “Hold Person” touch attack once per day. Cost: 1300sp

36. Box of Snuff. 20 doses. Cost: 500sp
Identify: When used, you may act twice per round for the duration of the combat it is used in. (Using it counts as an action in combat). At the end of combat, save v. poison, or pass out for 1d4 hours.

37. A bullseye lantern. If shined in the eyes of a foe (An attack action) they must make a save v. devices or suffer the same blindness as if Light had been cast on their eyes. Cost: 800sp

38. A 10’ pole with a permanent “Knock” spell on the tip of it. Touch a door, and the door will pop open. Does not work if the door is locked with a mechanical lock of -1 difficulty or more. Does work if the door is barred from the other side, or Wizard locked. Cost: 1800sp

39. A muddy pair of boots and overalls. When worn, no one will remember what you look like if they try to describe you later, unless you specifically speak to them. People who might already recognize you from seeing your face previously must make a wisdom save to successfully recognize you. Cost: 800sp

40. A book. It is locked (tinkering required to open it). If “Read Magic” is cast on the runes on the cover, it reads “Do not begin a thing you cannot finish.” Cost: 2000sp
Identify: Anyone who begins reading the book cannot stop reading until they are finished. Unfortunately, the book is supernaturally long, and they cannot eat, drink, or sleep while they read. The base time to read the book is 3 days. Make an Int check. For each four points by which the check succeeds, it takes one less day. For each two points by which the check fails, it takes one more day. Characters take 1d6 damage each day. If they survive, their Intelligence is permanently increased by 1d3, to a maximum of 18.

41. A hairbrush. Cost: 150sp
Identify: When you brush your hair with it, your hair’s color changes. Takes 1 turn, can change to any color that exists.

42. A simple leather belt with a bronze buckle. Once per week, wearer may give stern orders to anyone of their same species which is still considered a child. (12 and under for humans). The child is beholden to follow all orders from the wearer for 24 hours, as if under the effects of Charm Person. However, the child is intimidated, not charmed. Cost: 800sp

43. A snorkel which legs longer the deeper the wearer goes, or the higher the water rises. Air will always reach someone using this snorkel, so long as there is a straight line between them and the surface. (Won’t function in underwater caves, for example). Cost: 600sp

44. Goggles of detect magic. While worn, it is as though you are constantly under the effects of a Detect Magic spell. For each turn worn, roll a save v. devices. On failure, you go blind for a number of days equal to the number of turns the goggles were worn. Cost: 1300sp

45. An admiral’s hat, with ribbons on one side. Cost: 200sp
Identify: Nothin’

46. A plumed headdress. Cost: 200sp
Identify: While worn, you can speak to birds.

47. A tri-corner hat. While worn, you have a chance to cut off some creature’s heads on a hit roll of 20. For creatures with 1-2 hit dice, the chance is 100%. 3-5HD creatures at 50%, and 6-7HD creatures at 20%. Cost: 10,000sp

48. A band of gold to wrap around your head, gems stud the outside of it, Four large golden horns curve up to the center, where they meet high above your head. Cost: 10,000sp
Identify: Nothin

49. A band of gold metal to go ‘round your head. Flowing golden cloth encapsules your hair, and falls down around your shoulders. (Like a pharoes headdress) Cost: 8,000sp
Identify: The headdress of the god king. A reaction roll of 12 with HD1 creatures will cause them to revere you as a god.

50. A human scalp, reinforced with hard leather. Grants a +6 on saving throws versus magic or devices. Allies all suffer -1. Cost: 4000sp

51. A crinkled wrapping of thin, soft metal. It is shaped to be fit over the head. When worn, you are immune to any mind affecting spells, or psionic attacks. However, everything which comes out of your mouth is pure maddness. No one can have a reaction roll better than neutral with you. Cost: 1500sp

52. A pocketwatch. Only tells time when a monster is encountered. If the individual monster with the highest HD has more HD than you, the watch will read “Time to Run,” if they have equal, it will read “Time to talk,” if they have less, it will read “Time to crush the weak!” Cost: 1000sp

53. A cuckoo clock which chimes anytime someone is about to attack you from hiding. Comes with straps so it can be worn as a backpack, requiring a full encumberance slot. Cost: 600sp

54. Sandles of peaceful travel. While traveling overland, you get where you’re going with no encounters, and no memories of having travelled. Save v. poison or lose 1d6 x 5% of carried coinage. Cost: 1200sp

55. A dwarven beard-ring which causes your beard to look particularly grand. Dwarfs react at plus 2, and goblings & giants of 10 HD or less (total, as a group) must check morale or flee immediately before you. Cost: 2000sp

56. A monocle. Those who don’t know you assume you’re landed gentry, regardless of any other clothes you’re wearing. Cost:600sp

57. Sash of holding. Each such sash may hold 1d4 + 1 weapons without adding anything to encumberence. The sash itself is 1 item. Cost: 1600sp

58. Sash of dancing. You become the greatest dancer in the world whilst wearing this. Only the gods themselves could challenge your skill. Cost: 3000sp

59. A mask which, when worn, takes on the appearance of your own face, only upside down. While wearing it, you may attempt to turn undead as a cleric of half your hit dice once per day. Cost: 1000sp

60. A blank mask. Grants +1 to Vanish checks. Allows non-specialists to make vanish checks at 1-in-6.

61. A goat mask. Devils will treat you as though you are the very lowest ranking form of devil. (Because all goats are devils).

62. A pig which has been fed all of its life on a steady diet of dragonsbane. If a dragon eats it, they must save v. poison or die. Cost: 2000sp

63. A black potion with purple bubbles. Cost: 500sp
Identify: Raise all stats to 18 for 1 day.

64. A modern revolver with 2d12 bullets. The bullets cannot be manufactured, due to the high amount of precision required. Has a +2 to hit for ease of use, and deals 2d10 damage. If either die rolls a 10, the target must save v. poison or die. Cost: 1500sp

65. A vest which grants the wearer gaseous form as the spell at will, but only functions if no one is looking at them when they use it. Can be worn with other armor. Cost: 4000sp

66. A large robe, cannot be worn with any other armors. Grants spell resistence of 10% to the character which wears it. Cost: 3000sp

67. A cape which allows the wearer to perform minor acts of prestedigitation. Pulling rabbits from hats, and creating entertaining sparkles of light, etc. Cost: 700sp

68. A hand drill which drills completely silently. Cost: 200sp

69. A dragon’s heart. If eaten, save v., poison. If you fail you lose 1d6 con. If you succeed you gain 1d2. Cost: 300sp

70. A trained monkey. Loyalty 6, climb is 5-in-6, stealth and sleight of hand are both 3-in-6. Cost: 1100sp

71. A bronze snake headed staff. Cost: 1200sp
Identify: Allows a magic user to speak to serpents. Intelligent reptiles encountered must save v. magic. On a failure the caster gainst a +2 to their reaction roll, on a failure they take a -2 penalty because it is shameful for a non-reptile to have the staff. Staff also allows wielder to cast “Sticks to Snakes” once per day.

72. A silver snake headed staff. Cost: 1200sp
Identify: Nada

73. A pokearm which can be set against a charge, and will remain set in that spot even if you walk away. Does not move until it draws blood (which can be a harmless finger prick if you need to pick it up again). Cost: 900sp

74. A sling which always hits whatever you aim at, but never deals any damage. The impact is always just a firm tap. Cost: 600sp

75. A vampire’s tooth. While held, any cannibalism you engage in restores 2d6 hit points. Additionally, if you ever encounter the vampire whose tooth it is (1% chance each time you encounter a vampire), the tooth will give you some small measure of power over the vampire for as long as they don’t know you have it. (If they see it, your power is broken, and they will hunt you to the ends of the earth). Cost: 1100sp

76. A quill, made of peacock plume. Cost: 300sp
Identify: Nada

77. A quill, made from parrot feather. Cost: 300sp
Identify: If dipped in a person’s blood, then anything written in that person’s blood, they will say out loud as soon as you finish writing it. (Max 1 page.)

78. A bright blue potion which swirls of its own volition. Cost: 250sp
Identify: Heals 1d10+1

79. A potion which fades from pink to purple depending on the our of the day. Cost: 250sp
Identify: The imbiber can levitate up and down only. Spell ends when their feet touch the ground.

80. A black potion which looks white around the edges where it touches the container. Cost: 250sp
Identify: A potion of deliberation. No random encounters occur. Any creature you seek to encounter appears within 1 turn of beginning your search.

81. A bronze cooking pan. Cost: 150sp
Identify: Anything cooked in the pan is seasoned and marinated excellently. It’s a bitch to clean, though.

82. Teapot. Cost: 200sp
Identify: Any water in the teapot will boil within 1 minute.

83. An urn. When opened, an ash beast will be released, and attack your foes. When your foes are destroyed, the ash beast will attempt to leave. If you hold the urn towards the creature, it must save v. device. If it fails, it is returned to the jar. If it succeeds, the urn shatters, and the creature will attack you. Cost: 800sp

84. A bull headed staff. Cost: 2000sp
Identify: The wielder of the staff gains +2 strength. Those hit with the staff (with a melee attack roll) must save v. device or be knocked backwards 1d4 x 5’. If the wielder of this staff stands in the path of a charging beast, the beast must save v. magic or stop its charge. (It will still be hostile. If it succeeds, the MU will be hit by the charge. Minotaurs who see someone wielding this staff will become enraged.

85. A unicorn headed staff made of lightweight metal, unfamiliar to you. Cost: 2000sp
Identify: Nothing

86. A steel staff. The top twists like a net around a dozen rattling rat skulls. Cost: 2000sp
Identify: The wielder of this staff may summon a swarm of 12 rats each day. The swarm understands his verbal commands, but is unable to perform any task which would require more than normal rat intelligence.

87. A staff of red wood. At the tip is an eternal candle flame. Cost: 2000sp
Identify: Nada

88. A longsword which can’t hit in melee. It only hits targets which are at a distance. Targets 10’ away can be attacked normally. For each additional 10’ of distance, the attacker suffers a -2 to their hit roll. Cost: 3000sp

89. A longsword. On a successful hit, roll 1d4. On a 1-3, the sword deals only 1 damage. On a 4, the sword deals 10 damage. Cost: 1900sp

90. A Shortsword. On a killing blow, the victim explodes in a 20’ cone of boiling blood away from their attacker. Anyone in that area takes 3d6 damage, save v. breath for half. Cost: 2000sp

91. A crossbow which ignores all armor, but takes a full round to reload. Cost: 1500sp

92. A crossbow which fires bolt with a string of light attached to them. On successfully dealing damage, target must save v. paralyzation or be pulled into melee range with the crossbow wielder. Cost: 2000sp

93. 3 charming arrows. Those who are struck by them must save v. device, or be affected by a charm spell until the arrow is removed. Cost: 200sp each

94. Arrow of Unmaking. Target of a successful hit must save v. poison, or the arrow goes back in time and kills one of their parents as a child, making it as though they had never existed. Cost: 400sp

95. A shield which floats in the air, allowing the wielder to use two handed weapons. However, the shield gets in the way a bit, causing a -2 to attack rolls. Cost: 900sp

96-100. Roll a random Ioun Stone from Quann’ra-tioll Moorchlyne’s Most Excellent Compilation of all the realm’s known Ioun Stones. (A superlative game aide. There is nothing more to be written about Ioun Stones.)

Ideas for Replacement Table Replacements

-An arrow which causes all of the target’s ammunition to teleport to you.
-A Shield Shatter Arrow
-A shield. Each arrow that misses you has a 15% chance to ricochet at an enemy.
-A shield. Pour lantern oil on it, it becomes a giant lantern.
-A shield which can be sacrificed to negate a breath effect for the entire party.
-A suit of plate which grants a +2 to saves v. breath, but a -20’ penalty to movement.
-A suit of plate which can be slept in without any penalty.
-A suit of chain. When foes roll a 1, their weapons get stuck between the links of your armor, and they cannot get them out.
-A suit of chain which grants 1 more AC than normal, but missiles fired at allies have a 50% chance to redirect towards you.
-A suit of chain which can cast remove curse on the wearer once every 3 months.
-A halberd which is spectrally attuned. It strikes incorporeal creatures as if they were corporeal.
-A sword which, when drawn, releases a cloud of ash.

Randomly removed from the shop:

A bottle of decent-ish red wine which replenishes its own contents as it is drunk. (You drink a cup, it restores one cup’s worth.) Cost: 400sp
A 1’ long rod with a switch on the end. Once pressed, the rod will never move from its current position relative to its environment, until the switch is pressed again. Cost: 700sp
IIoun Stone 598, Small Grey Cube. “Once per day for the duration of 2 rounds, this IOUN stone allows its owner to use the stone sensing abilities of a Dwarf. Dwarves do not gain any benefit from this stone” Cost: 1500sp

Magical Marvels 17: Spell Lock Axe

This mundane looking axe is appears at first to be the most useless magic item ever made. When a successful attack is made against a target, the player rolls no damage. The axe instead passes harmlessly through the target, as though the axe were an illusion. The only proof that the blow even landed is a puff of purple, foul-smelling smoke which lingers a moment after a successful blow.

The true value of the axe will become apparent only when it is used against a magic user. The axe severs the link between the magician’s corporeal body, and the metaphysical energies which she commands. As a result, a magic user who is struck with this weapon will be unable to cast spells. The MU will not be made immediately aware of this, and may attempt to cast a spell (or several) before realizing their powers have been somehow blocked.

The bond between the magician and the power of her craft heals quickly, however. The power to cast spells normally will return 1d10 minutes after the blow is struck. (This should be rolled instead of damage.)

The axe should still work against most creatures which use magic. Creatures which rely on magic to exist on this plane (such as demons, or ghosts) will instead be banished for 1d10 minutes.

Magical Marvels 12: Silvertongue Ink

When discovered, this item appears to be a moderately ornate inkwell, filled with a silvery liquid. The inkwell itself appears only slightly valuable, and the liquid inside can easily be mistaken for quicksilver. Altogether, a merchant would pay perhaps 50 gold pieces for it.

If the silvery liquid is used as ink (any quill will do) whatever is written with it takes on magical properties which affect whoever reads them.

A statement of fact, however ridiculous it may be, will be believed. A command, even a command to kill oneself, will be followed. And a question, no matter how personal, will be answered. A successful saving throw against magic can be made to negate this effect. However, unlike many similar effects, a successful save will not alert the subject to the fact that someone has attempted to affect their mind, unless they are a magic user of 10th level or higher.

It should be noted that addressing a note with something to the effect of “To the King of Gorpagop” will cause whoever reads it to immediately stop reading it, and make every effort to deliver the note to the king of Gorpagop.

When found, the inkwell contains enough ink for 100 words.

Magical Marvels 11: The Steedmaker Barding

In an age long past, when magic was young and humans did not yet understand the powers and limitations of the craft, there was a great queen named Austranar. She was a warrior, and a conqueror, who expanded her territory through ruthless campaigns. And, she never rode into battle without her beloved steed Kuruk. Though she was a queen, she forbade any to care for Kuruk but her. So much did Austranar love her horse, that her soldiers sometimes joked that despite her many consorts, the only true heir would be Kuruk’s. Austranar won countless battles astride Kuruk, and art depicting the pair is some of the more common pieces from that period of human history. But very little is known of Kuruk’s death.

During the a minor conquest of no great importance, a peasant with a dull sword made a lucky swing, and nearly severed Kuruk’s right foreleg at the knee. A crime for which he was promptly beheaded by the grief-stricken queen. Soaked in the peasant’s blood, Austranar clung to the horse’s neck and wailed in rage and agony. She called for her court magician, he was–a bit reluctantly–brought to her. The queen demanded that the magician preserve Kuruk’s life with his magic, and would hear none of his protestations.

Knowing that failure would mean his death, the magician worked furiously with his limited understanding of the magical arts. Many of those captured during the battle were put to death during his ritual. A few of their souls were used to strengthen the bond between Kuruk’s spirit and his body…though many more were killed simply to buy him time to think.

When Kuruk’s body shrived up and disappeared beneath his barding, the magician’s time was up. A furious Austranar, red faced with rage, demanded to know where her steed had gone. The magician fumbled, over his words before finally picking up the headpiece of the barding and presenting it to the queen. He explained that Kuruk’s essence was preserved within this piece of armor, and that any steed it was placed upon would be filled with Kuruk’s spirit.

This is not what Austranar had wanted.

In a rage, the queen took the armor in both hands and slammed it down atop the magician’s head, aiming to kill him. Instead, the magician disappeared entirely, leaving a horse which looked almost exactly like Kuruk in its place–save for its strangely human eyes. It didn’t take long to discover what a wondrous item the magician had created. And though she felt Kuruk’s loss deeply, the queen deigned to reward her magician for creating such an ingenious device–by allowing him to serve as her steed for the rest of his days.

Whenever The Steedmaker Barding is placed upon the head of a living creature, that creature is transformed into a warhorse, complete with a full set of barding to match the head piece, as well as a saddle, and other riding accoutrements. The magical steed is also well trained, and will serve as well as any warhorse can.

While, in many respects, the horse will resemble the long-dead Kuruk, it will also take on aspects of whatever creature it has been bonded with. For example, when placed upon a human, it will gain a human’s eyes, as well as that human’s mind and intelligence. It will not be able to override its training as a war horse because of this, but it will be able to follow commands more intelligently, or indicate its opinions when asked.

Other combinations might include:

Frog: The horse will have a green, wet appearance. It will be able to leap unusually high and far, and will have a frog’s long tongue.

Bird: The horse will gain wings, like a pegasus.

Shark: The resulting creature will look quite different from a horse, as it will not have legs, but rather, four large fins. It will also have a preternaturally large jaw of razor sharp teeth.

Bear: Its hooves are replaced with large claws, and its legs have a larger range of movement.

Spider: While in most respects it will appear to be a normal horse, it will have eight spider’s legs and be able to move silently along both walls and ceilings.

Magical Marvels 10: Glasstouch Dagger

The origin of Glasstouch Daggers is unclear. Though several have been found over the centuries, hidden in dark dungeons and deep caves, none have borne the identifying mark of any known craftsperson. Study of the magics used in their creation show that they must have been crafted by a powerful mortal illusionist, rather than coming from any otherworldly source. Regardless of their origin these daggers are a boon to any who find them.

Though they are made of glass, these weapons are not fragile. In fact they are very nearly impossible to damage without going to extreme lengths to do so. Even the edge of the blade does not dull. Aside from this small boon, however, the Glasstouch Dagger functions in combat just as any other dagger would. The true magical value of the dagger lies in the magical feats it can perform.

When the tip of the blade is tapped against any non-living surface, that surface becomes completely transparent. This effect functions on an area of up to 10 cubic feet, though if the object touched is smaller (such as a door) then only that object will be affected. The surface does not become fragile, nor does it lose any of its other properties. The dagger can affect an unlimited number of objects, and those objects will remain transparent for as long as the dagger (or the dagger wielder) is within line-of-sight of the affected object. Remember that transparency works both ways. If you use the dagger to look through a door, then whatever is on the other side of that door can see you too!

If the pommel is used instead of the tip, then the surface tapped will become mirrored rather than transparent. This effect is subject to the same limitations as the transparency effect, though it only affects a single side of the object. If the pommel is tapped against a door, then the side it was tapped against will become mirrored, while the opposite side of the door will retain its normal appearance.

Any sage with basic knowledge of magical items will likely know the above information. However, few sages know that Glasstouch Daggers actually possess even greater magics which only those who are attuned to them can access. After a character gains 1 level with the Glasstouch Dagger in their possession, it will become attuned to that character. The next time they handle the weapon, it will feel vaguely warm to the touch for a moment, and they will have an indistinct sense that something about the dagger is different. A sage with detailed knowledge of magic weapons may be able to inform the character of what has occurred. Otherwise the below must be learned through experimentation, or divination spells such as Identify.

If the tip of the blade is touched to a surface, and used to trace a shape, then only the space within that shape will become transparent. This still only functions to a maximum of 10ft in any direction. Tracing a shape with the hilt produces mirrored surfaces in the same way.

Additionally, if an attuned wielder can stab the dagger into a non-living object, then that object will become as brittle as glass for as long as the dagger is embedded in it. Note that embedding the dagger in an object does not make it mirrored or transparent. It retains its normal appearance, but becomes brittle and easily broken. Note also that this ability does not allow the wielder to stab the dagger into an object which they normally could not. A stone, or suit of armor, or shield cannot be affected by this ability. However, a wooden tree could be.

Magical Marvels 9: Fifty Ring Descriptions

When my players encounter a finely crafted piece of treasure–be it magical or not–I like to give them a few details about that item’s appearance. It’s not just a finely crafted breastplate. But it has gold inlays which depict the moon on one breast, the sun on the other, and a duel between two swordsmen below it. Maybe it’s not the most important thing for a GM to do, but it lends character and depth to the game world, and that’s never a bad thing.

For some reason, I’ve always found that rings inspire my creativity more than other types of treasure. So as a change of pace, instead of using magical marvels to describe a single powerful magic item, below I’ve compiled 50 unusual ring designs. None of the below include any particular magical effects, but most of the below descriptions are not specific to a given effect. They could be used for many different kinds of magic rings. Or they may not be magical at all, merely finely crafted pieces of jewelry the players can sell for gold.

After a few hours I capped it at 50. You can peruse this list as a source of inspirational fluff, or use the numbers I included to use it as a d% chart. Full disclosure, I started out wanting to make a list of 100 rings. Turns out that is super hard. Also hard: describing the different parts of a ring. Does anyone know of a resource for learning the words which describe rings? Google turned up a lot of terms which describe gems, but not a lot which describe the rings themselves. I hope the words I chose are clear, or at least decipherable!

1-2) A silver band with the final line of a well known poem engraved around the outside, and flecked with gold. The inside edge has a small spike which prick’s the wearer’s finger while the ring is worn.

3-4) A ring of gold with 3 links of golden chain attached to it. At the end of the chain is a small emerald, with an ancient rune expertly carved into its largest facet.

5-6) A mithril ring with the figure of wizard standing upon it. Deft fiddling will reveal that the wizard’s hat can be turned, and removed, revealing a small diamond within the figure’s head.

7-8) A glass band which appears, in most respects, very plain. However, when light is shone upon it, colors weave and dance within the glass. Despite its magic, the glass is still quite fragile.

9-10) A black ring of an unfamiliar material, which has a large seal on it. The seal depicts a droplet falling into a small puddle. The substance being depicted is unclear. Different color inks may appear to be different fluids

11-12) A hollow ring of transparent glass. The ring is filled with water which mysteriously flows around the band. Flecks of gold in the water dance and twirl in the current.

13-14) A pair of iron tongs, the ends of which are each one half of a circlet just large enough for a finger. If heated in a fire, the tongs can be used to brand a ring around someone’s finger.

15-16) A copper ring, with depictions of scales embossed around its edge.

17-18) A smooth ring of silver. A band of gold–approximately 1/5th the ring’s width–is inlaid around the center of the ring’s outside edge.

19-20) A ring of steel with several cogs attached to it. These cogs are interlocking, and spin freely. They have no obvious mechanical purpose, however.

21-22) A gold ring which splits into two bands at the crest, with a darkly tinted lens mounted between them.

23-24) A pair of twisting bands, one silver, one gold. Each wraps around the finger twice, forming a single ring.

25-26) Red copper which is masterfully crafted to look like a fox wrapped around the wearer’s finger, with emeralds for eyes, and a tail which extends back along the wearer’s finger.

27-28) A square of gold with a ruby on each of the four corners. The flat edges fit snugly around a finger.

29-30) An arm of gold, clasping an arm of silver, clasping an arm of copper, which in turn clasps the arm of gold, forming a ring.

31-32) A ring of ivory, carved to look like a single long finger, wrapping around in a full 360 degrees.

33-34) A braid of iron bands wrapping around a speckled purple sphere.

35-36) The band itself is constructed of intricately curving strands of silver, supporting a flat skull of jade, painted with bright colors and wearing a large grin.

37-38) A gold coin of an ancient empire mounted on a golden band.

39-40) A strand of steel shaped like an arrow, twisted into a finger-sized circle.

41-42) A circlet of mithril, the exterior of which is covered in dozens of tiny spikes. In the center is a small, ocean blue sapphire. In the center of the sapphire is a tiny white sphere. It’s unclear how that sphere was placed within the gem.

43-44) A simple silver band with a weaving braid embossed around its edge.

45-46) The outside of the band is circled repeatedly by a number of deep grooves which are spaced evenly. What you or I would recognize as a thread.

47-48) This shiny silver band has a large concave plate in place of a signet. The surface of the plate is bare, save for a ring of tiny obsidian stones around the inside edge.

49-50) A ring carved seemingly from marble, with engravings of a crown, a sword, and a bull’s head on the outside edge. On the inside edge of the ring is a carving written in ancient common: “Power through adversity.”

51-52) This golden band has two large bumps on it, each covered in flecks of diamond. The bumps appear to be modeled after an insect’s compound eye.

53-54) A ring carved from jade depicts a might tiger which moves around the wearer’s finger, and bites its own tail.

55-56) This ring of platinum has numerous small images engraved on the outside of it. They depict a woman in many stages of life. Being born, learning to walk, growing into a woman, fighting mighty battles, bearing children, growing old, and finally dying.

57-58) The signet of this jade ring is an elaborate flower, made of numerous gems. Rubies and saphires make two layers of petals, wrapping around a large amber stone in the center. Within the amber is a petrified bee.

59-60) A delicate brass ring shaped to look like a feather, bent so the end of the vane meets the quill.

61-62) Carved from ivory, this ring looks like a tiny dragon’s skull, with the wearer’s finger going through the skull’s mouth.

63-64) A delicate ring carved from platinum to resemble a royal tiara, which fits around a finger instead of a head.

65-66) A wooden ring, thick with bark on the outside. At the crest of the ring, where a gem would normally sit, grows a thick pad of damp moss.

67-68) This smooth ring carved from jade has two arms extending from its crest. Between their hands, the arms hold a small ball of glass.

69-70) Upon the crest of this red stone ring rests a bird exquisitely carved from sapphire.

71-72) Two iron rings connected by a chain of finest mithril. If worn on adjacent fingers, this does not affect dexterity.

73-74) A band cut directly from a sapphire. At the crest of the ring, a tiny copper ship rests, as though it were drifting on a sapphire sea.

75-76) The signet of the ring appears to be a spider laying dead on its back. The spider’s 8 curling legs clasp tightly to a white pearl.

77-78) A goblin’s face graces the crest of this iron ring. He grins widely, and three small rubies are clasped in his mouth.

79-80) This ring of mithril has two circlets, attached together by a long, articulated piece of mithril artistry, made to look like the top side of a dragon’s talon. When worn, this will cover the wearer’s entire finger.

81-82) The crest of this ring is a large square space, where a large pyramidal piece of obsidian is embedded, and held in place by four demon hands clawing it; one from each corner of the square.

83-84) This bizarre platinum band is a sort of ‘reverse signet ring.’ A large oval pad contains some type of firmly affixed clay. The clay can be smoothed over by working it with your finger for a moment, then pressed to an object so it can take its shape.

85-86) This golden ring is topped with a large half-sphere of amber. Flanges of gold protrude in every direction around the amber, like rays from the sun.

87-88) A band of wood with a raised, rectangular opening along the top edge of the ring. Small pieces of ivory have been fitted into this opening, resembling bared teeth.

89-90) A tiny shield of steel is mounted atop this otherwise simple ring of silver.

91-92) An axe blade rises from the crest of this mithril ring. It is quite sharp, and may cause the wearer some incontinent cuts from time to time.

93-94) Both the inside, and the outside edge of the ring are covered in engravings which resemble a top-down map of a city. The city is not known to the players, nor to anyone they take the ring to. It must either be of another world, or so ancient that it has been forgotten entirely.

95-96) This ring is made of layered metals, wrapped one atop the other. The wearer’s finger contacts the ring’s gold, band, atop which is wrapped silver, then brass, and finally platinum.

97-98) Two dozen protruding stems rise from the crest of this platinum band. Atop each stem is a different gemstone: ruby, emerald, obsidian, amber, sapphire, and so on.

99-100) A very tiny candlestick is mounted on the crest of this brass ring. A very tiny candle could be mounted there, though it wouldn’t be very useful, and would likely be a burning hazard.

Seven Cursed Items for Fun & Profit

Greed’s Guilt – Golden coins of slightly larger than normal diameter, with a small ruby inlaid into a cavity in the center. They appear to be particularly valuable, and are likely worth more than standard gold coins if you can find the right collector for them. These cursed coins were actually made by a church of a goodly and lawful deity, whose clergy wished to punish the sin of greed by crafting an item of obvious value, which harm the owner.

For as long as these coins are within a character’s possession, whether they are currently being held, or are in a bank in the character’s name, the owner is cursed. They must roll a will save each night, with a DC equal to the number of Greed’s Guilt Coins possessed. Upon failure, the character cannot fall asleep by any natural means. They incur all of the penalties which would normally be associated with not sleeping, such as slower traveling speed, fatigue penalties on rolls, and an inability to prepare spells if they are a caster.

If an unnatural means is used to put the character to bed (such as a Sleep spell) then they will succeed in making the character unconscious. However, the sleep will not be restful at all. When they awaken, the character will feel as though no time has passed, and they will still incur all the normal penalties from not sleeping.

The Golden Quill – A fine writing implement, the size of a standard scribe’s quill, with a plume of fine golden strands, and a cap of the finest silver craftsmanship. This is obviously a piece of only the very highest quality, and is doubtless quite valuable. The origin of these quills is unknown, but the most common educated guess is that they were painstakingly crafted in the depths of the Abyss to sow seeds of discord amongst the mortal kingdoms. It is a good guess.

Once every 1d4 days, the possessor of a Golden Quill will use it to pen a letter to some friend or ally. In this letter, they will do everything they can to harm their relationship with that person. They will bring up their friend’s every failing, reopen every old wound, and curse their fellow’s very existence. Once the letter is written, they will do whatever they need to do to have it delivered promptly. If they are in the wilderness, they will store the letter pending their return to civilization. The curse of the Golden Quill allows no saving throw, and the writer of the hurtful letters will have no memory of writing them. Even if the quill leaves their possession, they will continue to ignore the letters hidden in their pack, and will dutifully have them delivered once it is possible.

Boots of Great Movement – A pair of finely crafted boots constructed from red-dyed leather and silk, with an intricate stitching of a wing on each heel. They appear to be luxuriously comfortable, and still very durable footwear. Anyone who wears these boots has their maximum movement speed increased by 15, but finds that they cannot stop moving. Every round, the character must move at least 10ft. The Boots of Great Movement cannot be removed without the use of a Remove Curse spell.

Rod of Lightning – This rod of blue glass appears to be a simple enough magic item. When directed at a foe and waggled up and down, an arc of electricity jumps from its tip to the target, dealing 1d6 damage. Targets are allowed a reflex save, DC 17, to take half damage. The Rod of Lightning is not a fancy magic item, but it does perform its task adequately.

However, if a character carrying the Rod of Lightning on their person is ever outdoors during a storm, then at least once they will be struck by a bolt of lightning from the sky, dealing 10d6 damage. It is likely that this will need to occur twice or more before the character will realize they are not merely the victim of a random occurrence. Even then, it may be difficult to deduce that the rod is responsible.

These devious items were crafted by a group of fundamentalist shamans. They wished to teach a lesson to anyone arrogant enough to think that the elements could be controlled with magic.

The Finishing Blade – This +3 longsword appears black in color, with a green shimmer if held under the light. The weapon deals an additional 3d6 negative energy damage to any target who has less than 20 hp remaining. While this at first appears to be an effective weapon, particularly when fighting against weaker opponents, it–of course–has a drawback.

Any living creature which is slain by this weapon rises as an undead monster precisely one month later. They retain all of the knowledge and abilities which they possessed in life, but gain the “undead” and “incorporeal” subtypes. Beings reanimated by The Finishing Blade’s curse have only one goal: to seek out the one who killed them, and force that person to join them in death. These creatures have a sixth sense which allows them to always be aware of their target’s current position relative to themselves. And they are absolutely relentless in their search.

Scabbard of Protection On one side of this leather scabbard, the material is dyed a deep red, whilst on the other it is a deep blue. The two colors are highlighted with gold, which is intricately shaped around the edges to create a supporting frame. The size and shape of the scabbard will change to suite any blade inserted into it. This is no mere work of mystic artistry, however. It also grants fast healing 1 to any who wear it. Upon strapping the scabbard to their body, an adventurer will immediately feel life flowing into them, and energizing them.

They may not even notice that every damage roll made against them is subject to a +5 bonus while the scabbard is worn.

The Lantern Beneath the Nose No one really understands the design of this lantern when they first lay eyes upon it. At the top, there is a hollow nose shaped from iron. A horizontal handle inside of it allows it to be held not unlike a buckler. Two chains descend from the nostrils, with a small lantern suspended about 1ft down.

Strange as it appears, however, adventurers who discover it are quickly excited by its power. When the handle is gripped, the lantern immediately lights up, and magically fills the entire room the wielder is in with light. Regardless of its size, or the position of objects which would normally create shadows. The entire room is magically illuminated.

As the light fills the room, however, it also casts a spell of greater invisibility upon any creatures of evil alignment.

Magical Marvels 7: The Son's Service

At long last, a return to my ongoing series of weapons which appeared in my Ascendant Crusade campaign. When this series left off in February, I posted about The Glare of Vecna. Prior to that I posted Gravewhisper’s Claw, Wallcraft’s Offerings and Kofek’s Tongue. All of those weapons, and now this one as well, were illustrated by my ladyfriend. You should check out more of her art on her DeviantArt page.

WARNING: This post covers material which is significantly darker than what normally appears on this blog. I’m not kidding, this gets very grim.

The Son’s Service
Artifact Kukri

PHYSICAL ATTACKS

(Kukri)(Attack) +5
(Kukri)(Damage) 1d4 + 5 (Slashing)(18-20/x3)

SPELLS GRANTED

4/Day – As a standard action, the wielder can ‘cut’ a door in the air with the blade, creating a Dimensional Door which allows the wielder to instantly travel up to 30ft.

1/Day – The caster can spend 1 minute scratching a door into a stone surface. When the door is completed, stepping through it will cause the effects of a Plane Shift spell for 1 minute. The plane the wielder wishes to travel to must be whispered to the blade before the creation of the door is begun. Anyone can step through the door, even enemies of the caster, so long as they do so within 1 minute of the door’s completion.

1/Week – If the hilt of the blade is held so the eyes of the skull meet the eyes of a helpless opponent, then the wielder may speak the trigger phrase “Love is weakness.” When this is done, a brief light will flash in the skull’s eyes. The victim’s dearest loved one must then succeed on a DC: 14 fortitude save against death. On a successful save, they still take 3d6 pain-based damage. When this happens, the victim will hear their loved one’s cries of pain, and suffers a -6 morale penalty to all rolls for the rest of the day. (This is based off of the Love’s Pain corrupt spell in the D&D 3.0 Book of Vile Darkness)

1/Week – If the hilt of the blade is held so that the skull is pressed against the heart of a victim, then the jaws of the skull will bite into the victim’s breast, tearing away a small bit of flesh. The victim will then immediately drop to -8 HP, and stabilize. No saving throw is allowed against this attack, however if the victim is wearing any kind of armor it is impossible. Making this attack in combat is extremely difficult, and works as a melee attack roll made with a -4 penalty. (No weapon bonuses are included in this attack roll, as the attack is not made with the weapon’s blade.) (This is based off of the Stop Heart spell in the D&D 3.0 Book of Vile Darkness)

SPECIAL ABILITIES

Anarchic Physical attacks against lawful creatures are made at a +2 bonus, and deal an additional 2d6 damage. (Cumulative effect with Goodbane)
Goodbane Physical attacks against good creatures are made at a +2 bonus, and deal an additional 2d6 damage. (Cumulative effect with Anarchic)
Ghost Touch Physical attacks deal normal damage against incorporeal creatures.
Stolen Youth The wielder’s aging is slowed to 1/3rd the normal rate. Any effects which would magically drain the user’s age are only 1/3rd as effective.
Gift of Agony The Intelligence of The Son’s Service suffers constant anguish over the tragedy of its creation. Once per day, it can transfer this pain to a victim through a touch attack, dealing 4d6 damage. If it has been lying dormant for awhile, it may choose to inflict this attack on the first person to pick it up.
Bodysnatcher If the blade is buried into the brain of a corpse, then The Son’s Service gains full control of that body, and any abilities it had in life. The blade’s first impulse will be to escape from its owner, and an ego check must be made to command the weapon to obey. Another ego check must be made if any attempt to remove the blade is made.

INTELLIGENT ITEM ABILITIES

EGO 32; INT 19 (+4) WIS 10 (+4) CHA 19 (+4)
Senses Darkvision 120ft, Blindsense, Hearing; Communication Speech, Telepathy
Languages Common, Abyssal, Vasharan
Alignment Chaotic Evil
Purpose The Son’s Service is a psychopath. It is constantly driven to perform vile, and harmful deeds. Most often directed towards lawful, or good characters. It loves nothing more than to be used as an implement of torture and slaughter.

APPEARANCE

The Son’s Service is a Kukri about 4 and 1/2 feet long from the end of the pommel to the tip of the blade. The entire thing appears to be made of bleached white bones. The hilt is made of a series of vertebrae, which end in a pointed pommel. The hilt of the weapon is a very small skull, and the blade protrudes from the crest of that skull. Upon close inspection, someone familiar with anatomy might recognize the blade as a warped rib-bone, which has been flattened and sharpened. Though normally dark, the eye sockets of the blade occasionally take on a faint glow when the weapon is focusing its attention.

HISTORY

The origins of the blade known as The Son’s Service are as dark and depraved as the master it was crafted to serve: Zalekios Gromar.

After the murder of his father, Zalekios was raised by the succubus, Setya. The demon knew how to feed young Zalekios’ psychopathy, and gleefully encouraged him in his childish pursuits of murder and mayhem. As he grew, Setya artfully crafted her Vasharan son into a weapon. A mortal man with all the rage and power of a demon. When he reached maturity, Setya bore for him twin children. One, a girl, she named Reizalla; destined to succeed Zalekios’ as Setya’s agent of chaos. The other, a boy, was sacrificed in a ritual so vile that it tainted the very air around it. Even centuries later, those who unwittingly stumble into the location where the ritual was performed find themselves choking and coughing as though breathing smoke.

The succubus then used powerful magics to twist and reshape the dead child’s fragile bones into a blade. One so strong it could crack steel. She dubbed the blade “The Son’s Service,” and gave it to Zalekios as a parting gift when he went forth into the world to spread chaos and death. Immediately upon accepting the blade, Zalekios could hear it cursing him in his mind. The weapon hated him with a pure malevolence, the like of which has never existed before or since. If it could, the weapon would destroy the father who cavalierly accepted the corpse of his own son as a gift. But it could not. In fact, the weapon could never take any action, or inaction, which would harm Zalekios. Nor could it even attempt to disobey him–such was the curse of the vile rituals Setya had performed.

Zalekios’ created a path of destruction throughout the world for decades. He murdered children or parents, he schemed to topple kingdoms, he did whatever would cause suffering. And always, The Son’s Service was by his side, opening the wounds which fed Zalekios’ blood soaked path. Were it not for the rancour the blade felt for its master, these would have been the happiest times of its psychopathic existence. Eventually, when Zalekios allied himself with The Whispered Queen, there was much less killing to do. She demanded a greater amount of subtlety from her companions than The Son’s Service would have liked.

Many years passed in the Whispered Queen’s service, and Zalekios grew restless. He chafed at taking orders from a woman he knew he could kill, and viewed her goals of bringing order to the world as perverse. But he could not stand against her. Powerful as he was, he knew how fiercely loyal the Queen’s other companions were. Even he would fall before their combined might. He brought to her a compromise: turn her forces on the Abyss. Let him lead her armies against the demon lord, Graz’zt. Zalekios would usurp the Demon Prince, and claim his throne for himself. Once he was a demon lord, Zalekios could spread chaos throughout the multiverse, and would have no desire to meddle in the affairs of the material plane. Besides–he argued–it couldn’t hurt to have a demon lord as a friend.

The Whispered Queen agreed, and began preparing her forces for a march into the abyss itself. The titanic army overran Graz’zt’s outer defenses, and penetrated deep into the demon lord’s Argent Palace. They reached the center of Graz’zt’s power, and with victory within his grasp, Zalekios charged the demon prince. But The Whispered Queen advanced no further. She and her forces stood in silence as Zalekios and those loyal to him were torn to pieces and devoured by demons.

The Queen had taken Zalekios’ advice to heart. It couldn’t hurt to have a demon lord as a friend.

After Zalekios’ demise, The Son’s Service was given to Reizalla for her part in the betrayal. But she found that the blade hated her for being the surviving twin almost as much as it hated Zalekios for being responsible for its existence. And the weapon was not magically compelled to obey her as it had been for their father. Reizalla traded the weapon to a balor, and ever since it has traded hands from one demon to another. Likely it now resides in the treasure vault of one mighty demon or another, yearning to draw blood once more.